06-04-2017, 01:20 AM
Day 94 - 7 loops
7 loops apparently might have been an overkill as well. Not sure if tiredness is due to the sub or rather stress I'm under right now. Thankfully there is one recepty for said stress and it's getting back to work. I've done some good work yesterday and despite tiredness I need to do rest of it today, otherwise it will tail me and give me even more anxiety.
As I suspected nothing mayor happened yesterday. I keep in touch with my ex, more because I'm curious where this will go rather than because I care (part of me if scared and tired of her, as I said before I'd rather be building something new rather than entering the same river again). And she seems distant. I don't know what's up with that, if I were to guess she has really serious emotional problems now and she doesn't know what to do about me.
And about emotional problems I think it's the biggest obstacle for me right now. I truly don't seem to be able to make my mind on what I want when it comes to my love life. Do I want traditional or open relationship? Or no relationship at all? Do I want to get back to my ex, be friends with her or want her to disappear from my life? I wish I could answer those but I simply cannot. And so I sit here, whine how I see no results and wait for wonder :/
Right now I have more pressing issues on my hands but the day will come when I will have time to ponder them and I'm not sure I'll be ready.
7 loops apparently might have been an overkill as well. Not sure if tiredness is due to the sub or rather stress I'm under right now. Thankfully there is one recepty for said stress and it's getting back to work. I've done some good work yesterday and despite tiredness I need to do rest of it today, otherwise it will tail me and give me even more anxiety.
As I suspected nothing mayor happened yesterday. I keep in touch with my ex, more because I'm curious where this will go rather than because I care (part of me if scared and tired of her, as I said before I'd rather be building something new rather than entering the same river again). And she seems distant. I don't know what's up with that, if I were to guess she has really serious emotional problems now and she doesn't know what to do about me.
And about emotional problems I think it's the biggest obstacle for me right now. I truly don't seem to be able to make my mind on what I want when it comes to my love life. Do I want traditional or open relationship? Or no relationship at all? Do I want to get back to my ex, be friends with her or want her to disappear from my life? I wish I could answer those but I simply cannot. And so I sit here, whine how I see no results and wait for wonder :/
Right now I have more pressing issues on my hands but the day will come when I will have time to ponder them and I'm not sure I'll be ready.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4