02-07-2016, 01:12 AM
(02-06-2016, 12:16 PM)apollolux Wrote: It's interesting to see how others write their offline journals; my own is mostly a bulleted list with an OCD method of tagging. You've got a groovy thing going, Kol, keep it up!
Thank you. Your reply makes me realize that I have an different way ofm owning my journal now. Im feeling calm.
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- fears/worries are replaced with confidence. The sub overwrites, settles and integrates from this point, manifesting itself in an stronger influence and the past worries getting more and more insignificant.
- Planning to meet up with friends today at some festival. Avoided this kind of festival due to bad experiences in the past. Letting asc dominate today, feeling driven. Interesting but slightly having some stuff surfacing.
- I might quit journalling for a while, I notice an pull towards change in life the last couple of days and an redirection in focus and attention. To go offline for a while. All my dealings are met with strong confidence.
/ social abundance sense integrates. having re/occuring mental images of rejecting girls due to standards and being totally free to do my thing, instead of being all needy, clingy. I simply dont care right now. The world is mine.
- The anger of yesterday resulted in an strong release I think. Lots of moodyness, pretty much Damon from the vampire diaries moody, and realised how anger, being annoyed and all of that stuff relates to setting boundaries internal. Being cocky and asshole like is something that resurfaced and stronger/ more solid this time. Makes sense as I withold in the past out of fear and lack of confidence. Its..addicting. My mind has an habit to pretty quickly look beyond the horizon. The not caring attitude gives abundance. resistance an result of fear and unable to let go. Biting the bullet is sometimes so Obvious we miss it, its total let go/release/leap of faith/stepping in the unknown.
- having strong thoughts of "can get anyone I want" , opposing the scarcity mindset of begging and "does she likes me?", its an shift towards ones own self as being the prize. Walking away, Im good enough. neediness breeds lack of boundaries and just unhealthy states. Also, the whole princessy reality shatters if it hasnt already. Girls and people are nothing special. I am the prize" Still integrating the understanding of girls being treated as little sisters and what not.
- planning to join gym and will do this.
- increase in arrogance/cockyness and disinterest in girls and just an fed upness. something deep is hit.
- thoughts of running sex magnet out of nowhere and alpha 6.0 tied towards confidence. All is.
- think about setting up tindr account. before I would hesitate, now i see it as experiment and test balloons.
- Increase in walking away.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus