Stage 4, Day 29
In trying to bring back that natural feeling of sexiness, today has become a very strong tapping day.
I did 3 Accelerators, 3 PSTEC sessions, and probably 30 minutes of fEFT on the side. Lots of uncomfortable yawning and tears streaming down my face, all to bring you this one insight...
My insight draws a parallel between "most guys' approach to getting girls" and the "homeless person's approach to making money". Here goes (I'll keep it brief):
The complete truth RE: both these situations: People will not make the most logical decision; they will consistently make emotional decisions that make them feel good/better/not bad.
Straight women will share their attention/sexuality/love to men who make them feel good/valid/sexy, not quite the men who 'fit the bill' with a good job and is nice.
My running theory (needs more anecdotal evidence) is that the most crucial thing to making women feel good is sexual presence (man feels awesome sexual feelings in her presence, which make her feel sexy). Same thing could work with feeling love or feeling good.
People will share their money with things that make them feel good; some nice clothes, maybe some booze, concert tickets, a good meal.
People on the outside of this are completely unaware of how the aforementioned people work. They just really need to get what it is those people have without understanding them. They just jump in and ask for the thing, with no regard to the fact that these people (above) will react positively to things that make them feel good.
Guy in dating. Everything the girl hears is: "I hear you have some sex; can I have some sex?"
Girl responds: "Oh no, sorry. There's another man in my life that has that sex. And only he can have that sex. So sorry"
Homeless guy: "I hear you have some money; can I have some money?"
Homed guy: "Oh no, sorry. I don't have any money on me at the moment. Oh so sorry!"
But guess what the shocking truth is? (ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THIS SHOCKING TRUTH? IT MIGHT TRULY DISTURB YOU!!!)... Please sit down..
1) The woman DOESN'T have a boyfriend!!
2) The guy HAD some money, and he threw it in my case while I was busking!! Dun Dun DUHHHN!
What gives? Are these people evil?
No, not at all; they're just responding naturally to what's being given to them. Often, these sorts of exchanges are stilted, uncomfortable, and leaves the pursued party feeling worse off than before.
Notice how a woman will go to extreme lengths to shake off some needy guy?
Or what if some homeless guy wanted to hang out and grab some beers at a bar with you? If you felt that clingy/needy energy and really didn't want to go with him, there will be a lot of things that you'd be willing to say to avoid going through with it, cause you know he'd probably guilt you into paying his tab.
Even if you'd lie about the fact that you're busy on those particular days, or you would avoid answering their phone calls, would that make you a bad person? What if you had 20 guys just like that, all of them asking for your money in some way?
If you had nothing to gain from it, you would probably choose to spend your time with none of them; why would you?
Women aren't bad people for their white lies, flaking, or general aversion of guys in which they have no interest. THEY FUCKING HAVE TO! They don't owe it to you just because you asked.
And any bone they would throw to you - just like several homeless people - would directly fund your addiction. In your case, your addiction to pu$$y and validation.
Yesterday, a homeless guy witnessed me getting paid (more specifically, a 5$ bill put into my guitar case, for busking in the streets) by the same people who, just a moment ago, said they hadn't any money.
He exclaimed that "It's not fair!". In several ways, that's very true; I've had the opportunities to enter that situation with the tools to provide value, whereas this man might not have had nearly the same opportunities.
But as long as he is unaware of that rule - in which people pay for things that make them feel good - he may very well be trapped in that cycle for the rest of his days.
If you're even gotten the "I've got a boyfriend" line in the club, and then witness that girl and some shlub reenacting the stabbing of Julius Cesar on the dance floor (he got stabbed a lot!), you may also exclaim that "It's not fair!". And it isn't, because you don't know what women want...
That's where you meet other guys that don't know what women want, and you start to create conceptual models of what women want (mind you, from that estranged place of craving pu$$y and not knowing what she actually wants) which distorts your world view and straight up makes you weird.
The worst part is where your messed-up theories work every once in a while, thereby proving that the framework that you've built is valid. "It's just that these bitchy American women can't see that my neg and DHV mean that I'm a cool alpha guy that can so keep her interested! These hoes just want money and a big dick! That's why I've got to go out 7 nights a week and hang out with other pick up guys so that I can stay on top of my game and get some."
All of this avoids the point completely; if you were to figure out what it is women actually want (which, I'll admit, is hard information to get from the right sources), you could simply embody that, and throw out the rule books for what you're supposed to "do", or how to behave and act like an alpha guy. If you can embody the feeling of being a sexy guy, women will get that feeling from you, that you're the "sex guy". And the rest is history.
This is where I'm going to experiment with sexual polarity, feeling masculine, feeling abundant, love and happy, because feelings are absolutely contagious, and she'll be able to feel it and know that there's something different about me, compared to the rest.
Another thought; where women get a lot of flack for going for looks/fame/money/status, it would seem that these gentlemen feel a lot more internally fulfilled than most guys she comes across, therefore giving him some form of gravitational pull on her and many other women, because he's able to give her so much intangible value.
Anyways, event wise, I managed to busk for a bit in the afternoon, and before that, it was rather hard to stay fully present. I'm loosening my need for any women, and realize that it's silly to base my self-worth off of that.
Many things (prior to that big PSTEC session) have gotten in the way of feeling love towards the women I see day to day, and feeling sexy. Since I was doing a good job cultivating it earlier this stage, this is clearly resistance of my subconscious that will be overcome.
Stage 5 starts in 4, maybe 5, days.
In trying to bring back that natural feeling of sexiness, today has become a very strong tapping day.
I did 3 Accelerators, 3 PSTEC sessions, and probably 30 minutes of fEFT on the side. Lots of uncomfortable yawning and tears streaming down my face, all to bring you this one insight...
My insight draws a parallel between "most guys' approach to getting girls" and the "homeless person's approach to making money". Here goes (I'll keep it brief):
The complete truth RE: both these situations: People will not make the most logical decision; they will consistently make emotional decisions that make them feel good/better/not bad.
Straight women will share their attention/sexuality/love to men who make them feel good/valid/sexy, not quite the men who 'fit the bill' with a good job and is nice.
My running theory (needs more anecdotal evidence) is that the most crucial thing to making women feel good is sexual presence (man feels awesome sexual feelings in her presence, which make her feel sexy). Same thing could work with feeling love or feeling good.
People will share their money with things that make them feel good; some nice clothes, maybe some booze, concert tickets, a good meal.
People on the outside of this are completely unaware of how the aforementioned people work. They just really need to get what it is those people have without understanding them. They just jump in and ask for the thing, with no regard to the fact that these people (above) will react positively to things that make them feel good.
Guy in dating. Everything the girl hears is: "I hear you have some sex; can I have some sex?"
Girl responds: "Oh no, sorry. There's another man in my life that has that sex. And only he can have that sex. So sorry"
Homeless guy: "I hear you have some money; can I have some money?"
Homed guy: "Oh no, sorry. I don't have any money on me at the moment. Oh so sorry!"
But guess what the shocking truth is? (ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THIS SHOCKING TRUTH? IT MIGHT TRULY DISTURB YOU!!!)... Please sit down..
1) The woman DOESN'T have a boyfriend!!
2) The guy HAD some money, and he threw it in my case while I was busking!! Dun Dun DUHHHN!
What gives? Are these people evil?
No, not at all; they're just responding naturally to what's being given to them. Often, these sorts of exchanges are stilted, uncomfortable, and leaves the pursued party feeling worse off than before.
Notice how a woman will go to extreme lengths to shake off some needy guy?
Or what if some homeless guy wanted to hang out and grab some beers at a bar with you? If you felt that clingy/needy energy and really didn't want to go with him, there will be a lot of things that you'd be willing to say to avoid going through with it, cause you know he'd probably guilt you into paying his tab.
Even if you'd lie about the fact that you're busy on those particular days, or you would avoid answering their phone calls, would that make you a bad person? What if you had 20 guys just like that, all of them asking for your money in some way?
If you had nothing to gain from it, you would probably choose to spend your time with none of them; why would you?
Women aren't bad people for their white lies, flaking, or general aversion of guys in which they have no interest. THEY FUCKING HAVE TO! They don't owe it to you just because you asked.
And any bone they would throw to you - just like several homeless people - would directly fund your addiction. In your case, your addiction to pu$$y and validation.
Yesterday, a homeless guy witnessed me getting paid (more specifically, a 5$ bill put into my guitar case, for busking in the streets) by the same people who, just a moment ago, said they hadn't any money.
He exclaimed that "It's not fair!". In several ways, that's very true; I've had the opportunities to enter that situation with the tools to provide value, whereas this man might not have had nearly the same opportunities.
But as long as he is unaware of that rule - in which people pay for things that make them feel good - he may very well be trapped in that cycle for the rest of his days.
If you're even gotten the "I've got a boyfriend" line in the club, and then witness that girl and some shlub reenacting the stabbing of Julius Cesar on the dance floor (he got stabbed a lot!), you may also exclaim that "It's not fair!". And it isn't, because you don't know what women want...
That's where you meet other guys that don't know what women want, and you start to create conceptual models of what women want (mind you, from that estranged place of craving pu$$y and not knowing what she actually wants) which distorts your world view and straight up makes you weird.
The worst part is where your messed-up theories work every once in a while, thereby proving that the framework that you've built is valid. "It's just that these bitchy American women can't see that my neg and DHV mean that I'm a cool alpha guy that can so keep her interested! These hoes just want money and a big dick! That's why I've got to go out 7 nights a week and hang out with other pick up guys so that I can stay on top of my game and get some."
All of this avoids the point completely; if you were to figure out what it is women actually want (which, I'll admit, is hard information to get from the right sources), you could simply embody that, and throw out the rule books for what you're supposed to "do", or how to behave and act like an alpha guy. If you can embody the feeling of being a sexy guy, women will get that feeling from you, that you're the "sex guy". And the rest is history.
This is where I'm going to experiment with sexual polarity, feeling masculine, feeling abundant, love and happy, because feelings are absolutely contagious, and she'll be able to feel it and know that there's something different about me, compared to the rest.
Another thought; where women get a lot of flack for going for looks/fame/money/status, it would seem that these gentlemen feel a lot more internally fulfilled than most guys she comes across, therefore giving him some form of gravitational pull on her and many other women, because he's able to give her so much intangible value.
Anyways, event wise, I managed to busk for a bit in the afternoon, and before that, it was rather hard to stay fully present. I'm loosening my need for any women, and realize that it's silly to base my self-worth off of that.
Many things (prior to that big PSTEC session) have gotten in the way of feeling love towards the women I see day to day, and feeling sexy. Since I was doing a good job cultivating it earlier this stage, this is clearly resistance of my subconscious that will be overcome.
Stage 5 starts in 4, maybe 5, days.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal