11-22-2010, 02:53 PM
11/22/10
So today I took my newfound discoveries about myself and addressed them while I was on campus today. I was walking around and instead of retreating into my shell I made sure that I was truly feeling my anxiety. I tackled the beast that tormented me for so long instead of hiding like I did in the past. I focused on my breathing which helped calm the nausea effect I usually get in my stomach and I tried to relax as much as possible and be aware of my surroundings. It was literally painful and my chest hurt a lot, but I didn't give up. I made sure that when I walked past a group of people I felt that anxiety fully and the ridiculous thoughts that were attached to it.
I talked to a cute girl today in one of my classes. I wasn't comfortable AT ALL but I made sure not to hide behind a false image of confidence. Instead I let myself have that anxiety and I said whatever was on my mind and I focused on being myself as much as possible. It wasn't easy but it was more satisfying than playing it safe.
My achievement today was rather small in the eyes of someone else, but it was huge for me. My anxiety seems to have take on a different form. Before it was very generic and I had nauseau, rapid heart beat, and a tendency to shell myself off. But now when I accept it, it manifest as intense stress around my chest which drains me of my energy. I couldn't keep it up all day because the feeling got pretty painful, so I had a tendency to avoid stressful situations just a little.
So today I took my newfound discoveries about myself and addressed them while I was on campus today. I was walking around and instead of retreating into my shell I made sure that I was truly feeling my anxiety. I tackled the beast that tormented me for so long instead of hiding like I did in the past. I focused on my breathing which helped calm the nausea effect I usually get in my stomach and I tried to relax as much as possible and be aware of my surroundings. It was literally painful and my chest hurt a lot, but I didn't give up. I made sure that when I walked past a group of people I felt that anxiety fully and the ridiculous thoughts that were attached to it.
I talked to a cute girl today in one of my classes. I wasn't comfortable AT ALL but I made sure not to hide behind a false image of confidence. Instead I let myself have that anxiety and I said whatever was on my mind and I focused on being myself as much as possible. It wasn't easy but it was more satisfying than playing it safe.
My achievement today was rather small in the eyes of someone else, but it was huge for me. My anxiety seems to have take on a different form. Before it was very generic and I had nauseau, rapid heart beat, and a tendency to shell myself off. But now when I accept it, it manifest as intense stress around my chest which drains me of my energy. I couldn't keep it up all day because the feeling got pretty painful, so I had a tendency to avoid stressful situations just a little.