12-20-2014, 10:47 AM
Quote:Thanks for the insights Shannon. I have found that writing about it (I refer to my I-am-freaking-out-forum-post above) helps me a great deal. I don't know why that works better than rationalizing in my head. I have since changed my approach in dealing with people.
It was just really weird for me, to know that something isn't gonna work, and I just go ahead and do what isn't gonna work to make myself feel good about it, temporarily. I still have to clean up the mess I made.
I have some questions, I was wondering if you would be up to answer it... I read your recent posts that mentioned about esoteric knowledge, and that led me to wonder...
1. BASE was produced during the time you would call "a very bad time" for you, and I understand that in such times you would tend to make poor judgement and easily make errors. Do you think that could have an effect on the quality of products produced?
The quality of one's thinking and judgement depends on the qualities that make up a "very bad time" and the instigating factors. In this case, knowing what I did about when it would be at a challenging state, I worked only when I knew specific factors were true, and I worked very slowly. This is the secret to making it through the sort of challenging time I was having, and that is why it took so long to produce.
For instance, I did not work when I was tired. I don't drink or do drugs, or even use medications, so that was not an issue. I did not work when I was emotionally distressed, frustrated, upset, or in any state that would produce questionable thinking. And when I did work, I worked in small chunks that allowed me to focus more than I usually would, specifically so that I could counter any effects the external influences may have had on me.
I also threw away work that was questionable in quality and potentially based on bad or faulty judgement several times, even though that cost me a lot. In general, I maintain that if it's not done right, it does not get released, and I do not accept less than what is right. Especially when I know the price tag is not small.
I have zero tolerance for mistakes or questionable work, and I listen when my gut makes me question my work -- no matter how much I don't want to do it again.
Finally, I did not work at all while the negative influences were at critical levels.
Quote:2. I definitely feel changes in myself, I wonder if they are for the better, but I am outside of my comfort zone and the things I used to do well (and I prided myself in these things) I now fumble. The things I used to do poorly in I now do better (these things are clearly good things). Is it temporary to "lose" some of my previous strengths in order to grow other necessary "powers" to become an entrepreneur, or will this be permanent? I want to highlight that these previous strengths I mention are useful to business, e.g. long-term thinking, strategic thinking, ability to solve complex problems (involving many variable factors).
Part of what the program is telling you to do is seek the challenge, master it, and move forward. If you take pride in doing something well, it is easy to hide from working on what you do not do well by focusing on what you take pride in instead. The program is re-organizing and re-balancing your skills, strengths and abilities, seeking to even them out. That's not to say it's degrading anything, but it's taking your focus away from what you do well, and putting it on what needs work right now. In the end, you'll return to a much more satisfying and much higher overall level of skill and competence for the challenge.
Quote:3. You mentioned it could be resistance to forgiveness programming, can you elaborate more on that? I definitely have some people to forgive, and I would think, myself included. Some are very deep scars. In any case, I have found that I am more comfortable with these people now than before.
Thank you.
When you are just getting started doing so, it usually isn't easy to forgive. Even with some experience it can be a challenge, and certainly one all of us can surely work on improving within ourselves. Scars are self perpetuating in that they tend to create blockages, which prevent their healing by resisting forgiveness. It's sort of like an involuntary response to contract a muscle when it gets hurt, which only makes the pain worse.
Ultimately, holding on by resisting forgiveness only holds you back and damages you. Rarely if ever do they experience any real meaningful difference, and I would say that as a form of punishment, "unforgiven" is an absolute, abject failure. It only works if they cooperate in the game by feeling bad in the right way, and that's not likely in the vast majority of cases.
Replacing "unforgiveness" with understanding and release, while learning to prevent oneself from being so treated in the future, is a path to healing, growth and advancement therefore.
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The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!