04-08-2018, 09:05 PM
As a kid, I was the one who was growing alone and then when we (often) visited some other relatives who'd all had several kids and they were all very social, then I'd feel kinda"left behind" socially because I just didn't have the energy to force myself to be like that for extended amounts of time. And yeah, then people begin to say that you are quiet, and I don't think that's really helping. That's where I think I associated socializing as something exhausting, and I was always worried about having enough energy when I go out and was really avoiding it when I didn't. Still do, but less.
Also I'm having similar irritability as you wrote. On some days now especially after work I can just be feeling so crappy inside that every time the (quite social) gf says it suggest something I get irritated. I try to be nice because she's sensitive to that stuff and then it can lead to arguing about something else, but I just feel this defensive "fu all, leave me be" attitude. What I don't really understand is what it actually is that I'm trying to block with that. Maybe it's that I don't want to be perceived as grumpy, maybe it's that I think people will attack me somehow, of offending, or... idk. Feeling bad + tired + social situation = fear of something really bad happening when I can't prevent it anymore. What do you think you fear whenever it's like that?
But the 1-day break helped me a lot more with DMSI-A. Hoping these past feelings will clear, and not just linger again. This is mostly why I'm still on DMSI - otherwise could be doing e.g. PTPA also.
Also I'm having similar irritability as you wrote. On some days now especially after work I can just be feeling so crappy inside that every time the (quite social) gf says it suggest something I get irritated. I try to be nice because she's sensitive to that stuff and then it can lead to arguing about something else, but I just feel this defensive "fu all, leave me be" attitude. What I don't really understand is what it actually is that I'm trying to block with that. Maybe it's that I don't want to be perceived as grumpy, maybe it's that I think people will attack me somehow, of offending, or... idk. Feeling bad + tired + social situation = fear of something really bad happening when I can't prevent it anymore. What do you think you fear whenever it's like that?
But the 1-day break helped me a lot more with DMSI-A. Hoping these past feelings will clear, and not just linger again. This is mostly why I'm still on DMSI - otherwise could be doing e.g. PTPA also.
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.