AM6 second coming

[Illumi]

Why not do DMSI A? Its probably about 100x stronger than AM6 at this point, of coure both of them having their own goals and all that. But the healing/clearing of DMSI is something for everyone, before E3 drops anyways.

[Kol]

Yeah I feel there is lots of clearing still to do around, for lets say, sex. Thats why I want to run a sub more directed towards that. No discredit towards AM, the results are damn obvious but to firm and reserved in a way. I now realize how AM does target this aswell. G*d, I really dont want to turn down AM at all.

The 5.5g tech is really something I want to try out tho and tbh, Im looking already for a while to run DMSI. AM6 really has grown on me.

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ION, last day stage 5 and I feel good. Conquering lots of addictions in swift and easy fashion under the hood. Its amazing. Also, Im starting to understand that Im putting to much pressure onto things and this closes of for appreciation. Some fuck that response to that tho. The whole attraction and appreciation will accelerate things tremendously. Trust and allowance it will be fine. Tl:dr Making to big if a fuzz easily still and now im lifting it out. Relief. Just damn.

[Kol]

stage 6 day 1

Im already confused and pretty much hitting resistance. Every little thing is ticking me off. My mood and feelings/emotions are all over the place, like some switch has been flipped on. I seem to remember more aswell. Many thoughts surcfacing around harshness to myself, about many other things that are fleeting but are rooted in social ways, including sex. I feel in ways locked away, harsh on myself and turning myself down, aswell as under-estimating myself strongly, like I lost all my courage and will.

Nofap definitely plays a role. Just feeling miserable, depressed, lashy, frustrated. Allowing myself to feel, can launch me further. Its as if I'm new and not used to the upcoming feelings as it is coming. |I feel teary but empty, hollow but anxious, good, driven, yet frustrated.

I AM in a different place tho which is great.

[Kol]

Ground zero been hit. Anger. Very short fuse. People down playing me trigger me in almost non controllable rage. If I let go it would be blind violence and shouting did already out the car while driving but its non diffusing. No chill. Rampage. Even getting more angry as I write this down. No fucking concern of being liked. Dispising people ass kissing or playing nice in settings because "that keeps the peace and is the norm" fuck you.

[Kol]

Just a few days into stage 6 and tiredhits are very strong. When out and not playing the sub I'm feeling absolutely king, social and holding eye contact for prolonged time. Lots of IOIs around yet its normal. Im growing stronger into 10 mindset and understand relations in this. More obvious signs aswell in the attraction department, including reasons and communications of other people as how they dress. Hacking the matrix kind of stuff. Im aware of undercurrents and restrains are dissolving whom which I struggled with in stage 5.

Some more stuff is brought up when the sub is playing and it drives me back against the wall. So much changes I feel it in my body. When not playing autopilot takes over more easily and quickly. Rapid self image of feeling like a sex king. In for the thrill. Its inevitable attraction like I AM the world in which to fall. No longer scarcity. Abundance of prospects. Lots of women standing close in my vicinity to the point of body against body.

I do now notice something possibly big which is energy stuff. Its an gravity like pull like a solid magnet coming from the centre of my body. I have a growing interest aswell in these matters. It does clear up things for me and makes me more uninhibited. Something becoming more obvious. Also energy field around me almost acting independently.

Pretty strong moodswings overal. Way less affected with stuff but also easily to anger me when it does. 0 bs tolerance. Being affected/bossed around is a matter of allowance. My look makes them back off simultaneously. Very composed when people talk to me. Not really as if it passes me, but rather staying congrugent and solid like today.

No longer playing their rules. Sacrifices will be probably made in terms of environment like closing of chapters. Inevitable urge to fly high and free from current things. Allow. I know what it is to take the decision. Doing so will be a huge impact, huge abundance at the same time in all areas. I know for one 'loss' lots of new things are to gain and easily can replace it. Fear prolly which expresses strongly online aswell. Writing this does bring me down.

To nice for my taste still.

Already have DMSI in mind to run next aswell as AM refresher at some point.

[Frosted]

Cool seems you are going in a more dominant direction. That's the direction I was headed after my first AM6 run but since WM2 I've been developing into a more freedom based direction. Now SM3 is pulling me towards more dominant but not by a lot.

[Kol]

yes, I am. Looking forward to your progress frosted. wishing you a great ride,.

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becoming more outspoken, more confrontational, after having a near vomitfest today im feeling, well, almost nothing, perhaps a shimmering stroing, something beneath, but, right now, I feel almost nothing, zero, null.

Watching vampire diaries season 8, and the way enzo and damon act is exactly that. Its just sheer coldness, and the glimpses of my former stage of being totally free from anything, and directing getting what I want are coming back. my NGAF is through the roof, this will be fun and its propelling me further, higher and beyond. transcending.
I am aware of my more dangerous traits, my cold, calculating ways and disregard of morals or rules and am embracing it. These traits can spice shit up.

This is a great place to be in. Its pure productivity and action driven, almost connection in the present, fullness and new ideas surface as to whats next up, what it means to have a full life. its an utter relentless way of being. Im also getting my cockyness back, yet, this is something that I will test when out, as, when out, I do encouter some strong feelings like today.

Oh, and milfs are hitting on me like crazy. IOI's are really taking a back seat in priorities to me, like a disregard in all of this. I simply dont care at all anymore, almost what I would envision as a switch into psychopath mode functioning, non neediness and abundance. massive change of what I once was, or whoever that was at all. Im ready to leave everything behind me.

The suffering was worth it. Im also about compelling now, and I dont know why. there is no escape from anything which would somewhat bring me down before, or, rather, my former self, which I am releasing.

Im also no longer dismissing/disregarding love.

[Kol]

I feel nothing getd to me and centred in this world and it increases dramatically. In love with my voice and others are affected by it strongly. Had some fawning over me.

Car broke down. Couldnt get even anxious or anything. Surreal even. At home in crashed and became anxious yet I got this. At the garage I was pretty carefree in ways yet know dominace improves and increases. Even with my car being broken down I felt almost nothing. No worties or anything. I do feel guilty about relying on other people financially like my dad. I dont want to burden.

I feel calm and real. All I write intensifies and becoming badass is that. Also in a muscular alpha way I bond yet im unaffected simultaneously. The changes are incredible. Centred yet not isolated yet aware of my sense and worth. Feeling confident and rock solid.

I maintain strong eye contact yet am also coming to terms with some disinterest. Interested in where it will lead as it is not fully done yet. After one thing new arises.

Very attractive sense aswell. Coming to terms of being turned on by certain qualities in women yet simultaneously idc and IDGAF. Confident congrugent. Interacting in real makes me feel very good like having something 'extra' to it.

[Kol]

My dreams are very vivid and start where waking life "ended". Fell asleep last night and had mental images going on with me looking from inside through bodily eyes with a piercing and supraconfident look. The externals seem to be way obvious like some dissonance. Feeling more congrugent then ever tho by accepting the catching up.

Its way much more then just feeling good, feeling good takes a backseat and somethign else take over. screw limiting beliefs, they serve nothing but imprisonment.

Having multiple leads make me feel more calm and assured. In a way, ego gratification is being stripped away, like getting a high from it is not the way to go about this, being self sufficient is going to extreme Heights. being self sufficient and self validating. The female attention I got is easy, and its easy to get 3 leads extra like nowadays, and Im starting to grow very dominant and strong in this, also NGAF, yet, needing women to feel good is a mousetrap. Its still chaser mentality. It does calm me to know i have options in a more tangible way and puts things in perspective about it, like, making a to big of a fuzz. definitely something shifted, not to mention, the experience fo yesterday and then diggin g me, carried over in my dream vivid ad fuck. Also, I had blue eyes in my dream, while in the waking world ( I loooove this analogy, thank you universe! ) I have amixture of brownish and green, like a blend of my father and mother.

Dont underestimate. Power is mine.

[Kol]

There is still some unprocessed jelousy in my system. something like a new chapter feeling. melting as we speak.

[blackwing Z]

are you happy with your progress so far? or are you overwhelmed by how much work there seems needed? Im a mix rn lmao

[Kol]

Yes. Still things coming up. Overal I am.pleased with the results and what comes up even if it is hard at times. It will be interesting as to where my run will bring me. Even in stage 6 stuff comes up that is somewhat hard to deal with.

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ION, lots of buttdisplays from some girls. I dont care in ways yet am wondering how much non neediness is helpfull in this. Had 3 leads going on with 1 already fizzling out a bit. The one who says she is hard to get and like people to chase yet says about other guys they try to hard. Confusing me a bit. Reason to run DMSI is this. I want it to work and escalation blocks to lift with oppurtunities thrown at me. Its all great being aloof yet action wise is sort of blocked still. I honestly feel rejecting by not being escalating when then oppurtunity arises in front of me. I have this abundance going on yet makes me passive.

Im drunk right now. So this might add to it in ways. Im all dominant and shit, locking eyes yet didnt pull the trigger when women throw their asses at me or even when not pulling the bullet. I expect women to blatantly get physical. Thats what I expect in being alpha. Like getting physical on me. ( bit like frosted wrote in his journal )

Also, jelousy and hurt when sudden having flakes going on. Like it really put me in a negative state tbh and feel I concern to much about it

Realizing IOIs hitting like craaaazy. The girl of a friend of mine now gets all touchy feely hand on my leg and stuff. Its like abundance all over again. Pls let this sense really last solid. I sooo love and want it. Damnnn.

Makes me also realize the maturity thing. Im.really mature and stoic at times fully solid and NGAF. to much of a 'meh' kind of thing. Like dont care. To kuch being a spectator instead imof participating

[Kol]

day 9

Feel like I run the sub way longer then 9 days. Badass mindset is realized stronger, as in, letting go. makes life slightly surreal and centred, like walking in a slight daze when out on the streets. Feel a stronger gravitation towards remaining silent and keeping at that, instead of spilling it.

One thing standing out with the current mindset is that it is obvious. realized when showering how letting go is the answer to many things and how it is right before me.

[Kol]

Not even sure if this is some strong reaction/resistance or whatever, but I feel losing my grip on things strongly, like, mentally its taking a strong loop with me and things feel strongly unreal/surreal. Dissociation is no stranger to me, but I am in a state of anxiety, which, if charting, would be a steady active line. woke up several times this night, living it out aswell, which in turns, made me more confused.

Also broke my no fap streak, back on it again. the cloudiness is back aswell.