(Sub-Swap) Stop S̶t̶u̶t̶t̶e̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ Masturbating 4G and Ultra Motivation 4G

[Ampersnd]

Day 60 Stop Masturbating
Day 46 Ultra Motivation

Motivation was down a little bit today, but I've done quite a bit on the intellectual side; German, history, geography, reading, guitar, singing; I even learned (and forgot) the Arabic alphabet. It seems daunting, but I shall keep going bit by bit until I can recognize and read the words phonetically.

My sex drive is strengthening without doing very much; but I think that eating oatmeal - instead of cereal - and cutting back on beer helped with my Testosterone levels.

I've also been meditating every night before bed, and I think that it has some impact on me.

Tomorrow, I'll make a trip to the health food store and pick up some Maca, protein powder, and some Chinese herbs for a shake I want to make.

[Ampersnd]

Day 61 Stop Masturbating
Day 47 Ultra Motivation

The girl I've been seeing has sent me a couple of photos of her in her bra. She also said we could hang out at her house before I work on Friday; but, she claims that I won't be "getting any", but she's said similar things before we've fooled around a bit.

I went to help my grandfather out with some chores, which he can't do due to his heart issue.

I've been reviewing the Arabic alphabet; it's 10% easier, which is the most that I could hope for. I could start piecing letters together in a word. What makes the alphabet difficult is that each letter changes shape depending on its position in the word (start, middle, end), as well as different fonts, which can trip you up.

I took a skateboard ride to the mall, in which I bought Maca, Hemp protein, Cordyceps and Reishi mushroom. I'll make a shake of these things tomorrow, adding almond milk, almonds. Later, I'll add coconut oil. I did a leg workout afterwards, and that went pretty well.

A few hours ago, I took a pill of Cordyceps and Reishi each, and I've been feeling plus positive difference in those masculine feelings. I even got aroused more than usual, which hints to me that this shake will change some things.

Got my first hit of testosterone in a long while; it was from watching a schoolyard fight. But that "hoo-hah" feeling in my chest was there. The "winner" didn't use any honor codes; he was caught in a head-lock from his opponent, and the crowd talked him out of it. The head-locker was sitting down, and had to adjust his pants, but paused a moment. The "winner" didn't give him that time and was punching him until he got a uppercut for a knockout.

I really should join an MMA gym to get my body to keep squirting out these hormones.

[Ampersnd]

Day 62 Stop Masturbating
Day 48 Ultra Motivation

A few hours after drinking my shake (see yesterday), my appetite has gone up. It was down the last few weeks. Interesting. More to come.

EDIT: I got a cute blonde girl's number at the gym; for some reason, I expected her to be stand-off-ish, but she was very sweet. The girl I've been dating told me that she has the house to herself tonight, and that I can come over and "watch Netflix". And, either I've reacted to the ingredients of the shake, or I've reacted from something yesterday, because I've gotten a number of whiteheads and pimples on my back (red marks). It might be due to the fact that I sweated in the same shirt for a couple of hours, that I sat on the couch for a long time, or that some things bit me while I was helping out with the garden.

[Ampersnd]

Day 64 Stop Masturbating
Day 50 Ultra Motivation

I almost got blindsided by a car full-on while walking across the street to work. I was surprised that I didn't really feel fear or shock or anything; I simply hopped backwards and it past by. I was so zen, but it's worrying that I'm not really phased by the world around me. I don't feel very much interest or motivation.

I picked apart the rhetoric of a talented debater. I sense my debating skills improving by osmosis.

Anyways, I'll keep listening and studying.

[Ampersnd]

Day 66 Stop Masturbating
Day 52 Ultra Motivation

My motivations have shifted, but haven't increased substantially; I'm interested in more competence/mastery in many more topics than what I had been aiming for.

I'm chatting with an acquaintance with whom I found out we are in political lockstep. She is my intellectual superior; double majors in math and computer sciences, speaks 8-10 languages. I'm motivated to keep learning to have an impressive mind like hers.

I might be transferring my gym membership from a standard weightlifting area to an MMA gym, and taking BJJ. Some of the classes are early enough to justify waking up early as a general precept. But, it will cost double what I normally pay.

I'm also planning on buying aniracetam, a nootropic that sells as a supplement in the US, but as a drug in Canada.

EDIT: I'm still masturbating from time to time, and my alcohol consumption has shot down considerably; from once a day to once every 3-4 days.

[Ampersnd]

Day 67 Stop Masturbating
Day 53 Ultra Motivation

I keep getting insights about people's psychology. I feel like I'm becoming extremely zen; not flustered, frustrated, or overwhelmed. Not even excitable or worried about much. I have no wild desires or motivations, which concerns me if this continues.

I will probably switch gyms, even if it makes my life a little more complicated.

My new job won't get back at me with my schedule, despite my contacting them. I'm wondering if they'll come through. It seems to me like people do not stick to their word unless they stand to gain money from it. Otherwise, they leave you high and dry.

[Ampersnd]

Day 68 Stop Masturbating
Day 54 Ultra Motivation

I can now very easily predict the left narrative. It's easy; oppose any right-leaning person, and suggest that their policies are racist.
EDIT: They also enjoy using fun out-of-context 'edits' to make people look like idiots. They've also been splicing in clips from movies. It's extremely stupid, and people keep falling for it.

[Ampersnd]

Day 69 Stop Masturbating
Day 55 Ultra Motivation

I'm impressed at how long I haven't had beer; it's not that I'm no longer interested, but I'm simply not reaching for it. Meditation has been constant. Reading has been constant, but slow; I constantly get distracted, and catch myself 2 minutes later.

I've ordered aniracetam on Amazon; for 35 Canadian dollars, there are 90 capsules, so I'll have three months' worth of improved cognizance. I wonder if this will deeper the effect of subliminals, as it improves learning and memory.

It's hard to express how much I'm looking forward to using 'Stop Stuttering' again; my ability to string a sentence together in a clear, quick, and expressive way has always been hindered. The best analogy would be computer hardware that has to dedicate a greater proportion of its RAM to formulating the words themselves, which makes it more difficult to form the ideas and recall facts, numbers, statistics, etc. I hope to either increase my RAM, or reduce the workload that speaking has.

Work has been ramping up; it's Canada Day tomorrow, and it's Independence day on Monday, so this entire weekend will be busy.

[Ampersnd]

Day 70 Stop Masturbating
Day 56 Ultra Motivation

I jerked off in a weird stupor this morning; this is after a couple of hours of sleep.

My motivation hasn't increased, but I'm interested in improving my skillset, so that's something.

It's Canada Day here, and I worked 11 hours. I'll be working just as long/hard this entire weekend as well as Monday.

[Ampersnd]

Day 71 Stop Masturbating
Day 57 Ultra Motivation

I almost got into a fistfight. At work. With a co-worker.
This co-worker was a complete idiot and would intentionally spray me with the dishwasher sprayer, as a "joke". I became hostile pretty quickly (surprised myself), and we both escalated as we were talking the big talk. We broke it off, but the feelings of rage inside me were something that I've never felt. His work buddy was talking about stepping in on his behest, and my work buddy offered to step in on mine.

Today, I worked about 10 hours. I've made more money this week than I've ever made in any given week of this year. It's unfortunate that it has to be back-breaking work with long hours. At least the pay check will be good.

[Ampersnd]

Day 74 Stop Masturbating
Day 60 Ultra Motivation

I've made the leap and switched gyms, from weight-lifting to BJJ. I'll have to get up before 6am twice a week. I get a price reduction at half price for the first month, then I get to decide if I go forward with this gym (they ask for 6 month commitment afterwards).

I've also done a first lesson with my new voice teacher; she loves my voice and she's given me great lesson tips to improve my breath support. I can easily do them in the car. I realize that there are still plenty of thing that I can improve, especially in my range. But, in the lesson, I hit an E4 pretty easily, which I've never really done outside of another lesson.

During the last 48 hours, I've faced an intense cold that has been quelled recently. A good night's sleep goes a long way. As a matter of fact, I'll be going to bed soon.

[Ampersnd]

Day 76 Stop Masturbating
Day 62 Ultra Motivation

My cold has gotten better; I had set up a date with the girl from the gym, but it fell through. I went to see the newest 'Purge' movie with my parents. As entertaining as it was, there's a very transparent narrative involved; the rich, religious, racist, white guys killing the minorities trying to do the right thing. Both main enemy groups are explicitly written as racists, I actually laughed out loud when they said the lines they said. They did have other enemies, but they posed almost no threat, and were removed so quickly that they were nugatory (an easy right-off).

With my MACA/protein/etc. shake, my sex drive shot up pretty high after 6 days of abstinence. I shot my wad in the shower out of impulse. Oh well. Let's keep playing it until the end of August (maybe).

[Ampersnd]

Day 77 Stop Masturbating
Day 63 Ultra Motivation

I went to see the doctor; he checked out and ruled out an issue that I've been having. I have peace of mind now.

Work is going well; I'm offered to switch positions from time to time. I see it as an upgrade. It'll get me more hours.

I've also received the aniracetam in the mail; I'll be using it tomorrow for learning things, and for work.

I j'ed off again; I don't get why I don't have any increased discipline. Maybe it's simply that I do, but my sex drive has increased. Still, I feel that after 2 1/2 months of running this, I should have a more sophisticated approach to prevent this from happening.

[Ampersnd]

Day 78 Stop Masturbating
Day 64 Ultra Motivation

The aniracitam works, but not in an extremely obvious way. It's very subtle, and comes to the rescue when I have to study; I spent over an hour on my history book; I normally can't focus for more than a few minutes. It was pretty awesome. I took care of my Italian and German flashcards, and it was easier than normal.

Work was rather stressful; there's tons of drama, and people who talk about walking out at any moment, people yelling at each other.