EHPRA V2

[DavisMind91]

Update:

I notice a big improvement with my sense of humor. Especially when around women. I’m willing to say the silliest and sometimes strangest things and literally not even care how I’m perceived afterwards. Both when Injoke around with people and even inside my own head, I place priority on making myself laugh. My mental and emotional resilience keeps increasing too. One thing I’m noticing also is that I’m less and less willing to think of or especially care about things beyond my direct control.

I also value my time more and start becoming wound up when I’m ready to take action, as if I can’t wait to go out and create an experience in life. In other news, I’ve decided that November 3rd is my last day using E2. I’m sure it’ll be a sub I revisit in the future if I actually need it but as of now I feel like a chapter in my self-help journey is closing. Compared to everyone around me, I’m the happiest, most secure, confident and carefree person I know right now. While all of that is great I’m ready to give my mind a rest and start AM6 as of November 30th.

I’m ready to take my growth not just as a person, but as a man to the next level. I’m even more ready then before to distinguish myself from the low quality “men” I see a pass me everyday. I never had a father around to teach me to be a man nor did I have any good father figures. It’s for this reason that I often times attempted to teach myself but made mistakes and even hurt others along the way. While for most of those mistakes I’ve made amends, there are still loose ends. I not only want to further myself as a man but become “my own man”. Growing up all I ever got were women trying to teach me how to be a man, (mainly woman who dated immature and disfuntional “men” themselves, or half-hearted attempts from guys who were always to busy to stick around and be an actual father figure (which to be honest while I respect a few of them, none of them were examples of actual alpha males).

While none of this never truly bothered me, or does make me wonder how I could’ve turned out differently and therefore how my life could’ve turned out differently as well. Guess we’ll see soon. The amount of time in between the two suns should allow E2 to finish blooming as well as provide my brain with some needed rest from all the constant processing.

[DavisMind91]

I’ve come to the realization that I have an issue with instant gratification. It’s also the reason I’m impatient. Growing up as a child, almost everything I wanted or needed that wasn’t Food or school supplies I had to wait for. Even though at a young age my mother was frank and admitted when she didn’t have the money to buy me certain things, I appreciated her honesty and understood that I’d just get something I wanted when I got it if at all. Fast forward to present day and now I go above and beyond to spoil myself. For instance I just blew through more than $1100 in the past 24 hours alone, although all of it went towards tools for self improvement, it made me realize I have developed an issue with waiting for things or waiting for situations to unfold.

Pretty sure this is the wisdom aspect of the program acting itself out. I honestly have no idea how to cultivate my patience other than just not give a damn and let go of what I cannot directly control. Honestly it’s not going to get too much better either right now as I still have around 4-5 more things to attain before every single resource I want is in place up until 2020. I’m focused on gaining what I want just as long as I don’t hurt myself or others of course but the patience is not there. I want to take advantage of the opportunities in front of me to gain what I need while I still can in terms of developing myself as a man, and then as a true entrepreneur.

[DavisMind91]

Update:

I’ve hardly had the opportunity to listen today. They’re now also enforcing a no cell phone rule at my job now which is going to make it more difficult to get my listening in during the day. Not sure what’s going on today but my thoughts while working at my desk are more “alpha-male” like than usual. I’m determined to keep composure and exert my personal power despite stress around me. Women in general are also responding pretty well. In fact 4 of them touched me which they usually don’t. 2 rubbed my shoulder for a bit and the other two, just minutes apart came to greet me while passing my desk and rubbed my neck and back. Starting to feel E2 May have ended up unlocking some repressed masculinity that’s making them act this way.

[DavisMind91]

Don’t recall if the happiness and joy script is built into E2 but I just read that entire script in the library and I literally feel and am expressing every part of that script today and for the past few as well. I’m pretty sure my run from APE is still having an effect on me too as I see myself still acting in that script at times as well. I feel guarded from the negativity of others. Feels like I can do anything I choose at this moment and succeed at it.

[DavisMind91]

Thought I’d check in since it’s been a couple days. What can I say, I’ve been manifesting some amazing things into my life, almost too many to count. I just received a new stereo Bluetooth speaker from amazon so I’m sure that’ll help take my sub listening to the next level, especially when I’m listening overnight. It passed the speaker test too so I know I’m good to go. My new wave of happiness is helping me to attract events and things, including interactions with others that match my inner peace and joy.

[Adrien Silva]

Wouldn't bluetooth lose sound quality?

[DavisMind91]

Wouldn't bluetooth lose sound quality?

Not that I know of. I’ve mostly been using Bluetooth headphones until now and still getting great results from Subs.

[DavisMind91]

Today, all I have to say is this...because of how my life is going right now, if I was the type to cry when I get happy, then I would be weeping every single day.

[DavisMind91]

Well yesterday was the first day of my vacation. It went well as expected, haven’t been on the forum quite as much as I’m living it up right now. I still want to keep a consistent journal of course. With that being said however as of tomorrow I am finished with my E2 run. For the past week it feels like I’ve just been on maintenance mode with it. That’s obviously not a bad thing but I’m using the time until November 30th to allow my mind to assimilate and continue acting upon the instructions of E2. Best thing is the 30th is a day I have off work so my very first day of AM6 will be uninterrupted.

Now as for my wife, she’s been down and feeling as if she’s failed at everything this year. This is not true as she graduated a surgical tech program in August and landed a job in 2 weeks after graduation while her sister graduated over a year ago and still has no job in that field. Admittedly though, between our marriage falling apart and her Mom’s death a couple months ago, I can see how she’s taking it hard. She’s been acting strange the past couple of days, I know her and so I knew there was a motive behind it because though this sounds messed up I feel like she was being “too nice” towards me.

She wasn’t necessarily being manipulative but I knew she wanted something from me. While I was in the checkout line at Walmart she finally said that she wanted to move to Georgia and didn’t want to go without me. Part of this I’m sure is because she doesn’t want me to be too far away from my daughter which I wouldn’t want that either. Another thing is that she wants a fresh start, and well who doesn’t when they’re not where they want to be in life. I’ve been thinking about leaving Florida again for a while anyway so I said I would go, but given her past history of changing her mind pretty quickly I’m not taking her seriously at all.

Besides, at this point I don’t even see a full 1% chance of being together with her again. While she cried on the phone I didn’t feel sorrow like I usually would, In fact, my own sadness from the past, and any negativity that people tell me about in their own lives currently seems foreign to me. It’s not that I don’t care, I just feel light-hearted 99% of the time and encourage people to keep going. I gave her words of encouragement and instead of looking at her as weak like I have in the past, I simply reminded her of how strong I’ve seen her be.

Anyways, I’ve said enough here, my next post on this journal will likely be my last and it won’t be too long I’m sure. To anyone reading this, if you’re thinking of trying E2 then just do it, it’s a life changer.

[DavisMind91]

Last post:

Still having great days. Feeling like things are leveling out now. I’m noticing more and more that my wife is making more of an effort to talk to me. We’re gonna have to see how that progresses during my AM6 journey. E2 has been a wonderful ride but alas, it’s time to step forward in my self-growth journey. I’ll be starting my alpha male journal soon, complete with resources I’ll be using to assist with the sub, including the two books that Shannon recommended. I’ll be back on the forum in a couple weeks.