AM11 with Jeff

[Shannon]

Andrew and I both agree, I think I can safely say, that Rosetta Stone is not the best language learning option out there. Andrew would know better than I, but his recommendation to me was Tell Me More, while my research has made me think highly of Fluenz, although I have only tried Rosetta Stone. I did learn some things quickly using RS, but I also found it confusing after a little while. I think it's too simplistic in some ways for the transition between learning words and putting them into actual sentences to make very much sense in some cases where grammar is different between languages. Then again... I didn't spend very long using it.

I recommend doing your research when it comes to language learning software/programs, and the advice I saw given over and over again was not to rely on any one program, but to use 2 or 3 of them together.

[Jeff]

I am going to take college classes in regards to language learning. The information of the professor, these programs, friends with more knowlegable than I, and native speakers; should give me just the boost I need.

I reread my journal, reflected, and analyzed. Some memories I could recall vividly, others were obscure, and the majority felt foreign or unheard of. How can this be? I know I have been feeling very, very different lately. If any of you have seen the show, Heroes, it is much like when the politician was killed, the evil serial killer was wiped of his memories and was ordained with the dead politicains. He knew the memories, but felt they were not his. My mind is in a utter fog. I am considering see a shrink, something is definitely different. I am sure the root of it is when I was in my depression, much like a scar, the pain has healed, but sensitive enough when touched, the moments are relived.

I am brainstorming of effective ways to make money, but I need some help. I am going to see if I can become a waiter at this fine restaurant, instead of being a crew member at Mr. Goodcents Evaluate Craigslist. Find scrap metal or old junk made of metal and sell to a chop shop (some guy found old camper for $400 and sold to chop shop for +$3,000). The more cautious is lab studies and calculated safe betting). Affiliate marketing will have to wait for a while.

First, I need to heal my body, mind, and spirit. Then achieve my peak conditions. Finally, I can pursue my dreams and take down all obstacles in my way! [/u]

[Jeff]

Wow, did I make a fast recovery. I feel like part of my conscience has been gone for a long time, and finally came back. My estimate is around 4-5 months. The mental fog is gone, yet my awareness is weak. I feel like I am in critical condition overall, yet at the same time I feel extremely vitalized. I use some unconentional methods of flame meditation with a yoga energy called, "The Violet Flame." I have no idea how I found it, but it did some wonders. I plan to use it many more times until I feel neutralized.

Tomorrow should be fun. Looking for a new job that I will enjoy. My current job blows, hours upon hours of washing dishes manually. -_- But I have faith I will get a new job by the end of this week

[Shannon]

"I am grateful for the job I have, and I know that something better is coming to me soon."

[Jeff]

This has been the times of personal growth. I needed this program more than I could imagine. Looking back, I was actually irritated I had to buy this before going through Woman Magnet. Ha, thankfully I did go through with it.

My beliefs were all over the place, and many untrue. During my meditation today, I was able to surface beliefs from my subconsconscious. Everything I do not have in my life currently was because deep down, no matter what influence I use to change it, I did not believe I desrved it. Improving my physique so women find me more attractive, no. It did help, but made matters worse actually.

If any of you have advice on this subject feeling that you deserve the best of ______. I could use it. I am not sure just repeating an affirmation will make me come to terms, but almost a renewal or change of Heart will be what it takes.

[Spiral]

This has probably been the hardest thing for me. Feeling like you don't deserve something obviously stems from some sort of insecurity about yourself physically or mentally. Say you aren't intelligent enough to swoon that woman or you aren't good enough or qualified for the job. It is just a lack of confidence in oneself. I think once you become self assured anything is possible. That is probably the hardest thing to get down and alpha set definitely helps out in that area but maybe not enough. SHANNON, maybe take note of that if you havn't already. I've thought about it and along with direct focus on leadership maybe self assuredness should also be heavily focused on if it isn't already.

I'm still working on this, Jeff. I wouldn't rely on affirmations for this either. I don't know what to tell you... keep meditating and think about why you are happy right now. You've got to be happy about something right? whether you are grateful for your family or you are enjoying your time to yourself for personal growth. And like Shannon said, be grateful. The only affirmations you should be doing are Gratification affirmations..

[Jay]

This has probably been the hardest thing for me. Feeling like you don't deserve something obviously stems from some sort of insecurity about yourself physically or mentally. Say you aren't intelligent enough to swoon that woman or you aren't good enough or qualified for the job. It is just a lack of confidence in oneself. I think once you become self assured anything is possible. That is probably the hardest thing to get down and alpha set definitely helps out in that area but maybe not enough. SHANNON, maybe take note of that if you havn't already. I've thought about it and along with direct focus on leadership maybe self assuredness should also be heavily focused on if it isn't already.

I'm recently started working on this as well with the use of mirror affirmations and reading upon codependency, I believe it has to do with not having enough trust and feeling comfortable enough in your own abilities, and because you don't have enough faith in yourself, you expect others to react in the same way as you do. Since you don't trust yourself, why should another person trust you?

This makes you outcome oriented, which then heads to people pleasing behavior, which is basically trying to manipulate people into thinking your something you're not. So you're overcompensating and trying to pretend being comfortable and self-assured and people will tend to see right through that behavior. And even if they don't, you still do, so eventually you'll still end up feeling like a phony.

I do notice that gratification affirmations tend to make the message behind it more emotional and sturdy, but I still wouldn't seclude regular affirmations in the process. As long as you feel emotion behind it, I believe you're on the right path (same principle with natural grounding). The affirmations are nothing else than guidelines to hooking up to an emotion, feeling, idea(l) etc.

[Shannon]

This has probably been the hardest thing for me. Feeling like you don't deserve something obviously stems from some sort of insecurity about yourself physically or mentally. Say you aren't intelligent enough to swoon that woman or you aren't good enough or qualified for the job. It is just a lack of confidence in oneself. I think once you become self assured anything is possible. That is probably the hardest thing to get down and alpha set definitely helps out in that area but maybe not enough. SHANNON, maybe take note of that if you havn't already. I've thought about it and along with direct focus on leadership maybe self assuredness should also be heavily focused on if it isn't already.

I'm still working on this, Jeff. I wouldn't rely on affirmations for this either. I don't know what to tell you... keep meditating and think about why you are happy right now. You've got to be happy about something right? whether you are grateful for your family or you are enjoying your time to yourself for personal growth. And like Shannon said, be grateful. The only affirmations you should be doing are Gratification affirmations..

Noted. You will benefit from multiple run-throughs, but I'll add this to the list if improvements for AM2012. I hope my computer melt down hasn't completely destroyed that list...

[Jeff]

I love affirmations, but right now I am going to try my own thing. Instead of chanting sentences, or talking to myself in the mirror, I am going to confront them and change them in one fell swoop, with on-going upkeep. I find getting out and doing what I desire or participating in some activity is far more beneficial at least for me.

In spite of everything that happened this week... I found it to be a great learning experience. I have been undergoing change at an exponential rate. It is freaking ridiculous. I think that is partially due to me being a hermit for several weeks. If things keep up like this, I will have a Ph.D. in life.

Time to share my learning experiences. I started talking to my co-workers more frequently, which was good for my social life. Smoked marijuana and had a freaky bad trip. Never again. I wasted too much time not doing anything, while being in a state of unending pleasure filled nightmare. And for some reason I thought it was wrong to go see a movie by myself, so I did it anyway. I love going with friends and girl friends, but going by myself was actually a great experience (=

I then followed up with much thinking and meditation on how to get my life in order. I did find a couple ways, but those only scratched the surface. Funny how some ideas hit you when you least expect it. I had a book that is due in about 12 hours. I only read a couple of pages, but I want to siphon as much information I can from it as possible. One of the morals of this story was, "As a sage you don't live in the world, the world lives in you." This was so profound to me. An ephiany finally emerging from the depths of my mind.

Much of my life has been to please others, seek their approval, sacarfice my own satisfaction to let others revel in what I was doing, being outcasted and mocked for being different while letting people walk all over me. This made me insecure beyond a shadow of a doubt. My solutions is to accept everything that has happened, then change it to what I want I am ready for the internal world I desire to become my exterior reality. I am effin' excited!! I've never felt this motivated about my future. Instead of hoping one day the chips will fall perfectly into place, I am shifting everything to my whim. I am doing much of what I want, slight indulgence, but I am happy.

I am looking forward to everything that is to come. (=

[Spiral]

This has probably been the hardest thing for me. Feeling like you don't deserve something obviously stems from some sort of insecurity about yourself physically or mentally. Say you aren't intelligent enough to swoon that woman or you aren't good enough or qualified for the job. It is just a lack of confidence in oneself. I think once you become self assured anything is possible. That is probably the hardest thing to get down and alpha set definitely helps out in that area but maybe not enough. SHANNON, maybe take note of that if you havn't already. I've thought about it and along with direct focus on leadership maybe self assuredness should also be heavily focused on if it isn't already.

I'm still working on this, Jeff. I wouldn't rely on affirmations for this either. I don't know what to tell you... keep meditating and think about why you are happy right now. You've got to be happy about something right? whether you are grateful for your family or you are enjoying your time to yourself for personal growth. And like Shannon said, be grateful. The only affirmations you should be doing are Gratification affirmations..

Noted. You will benefit from multiple run-throughs, but I'll add this to the list if improvements for AM2012. I hope my computer melt down hasn't completely destroyed that list...

Cool. I'm definitely planning on running through AM a few more times.

EDIT: And Jeff, that sounds great! This seems to be something I forget quite a few times going through these huge subliminal sets. All these deep rooted negative beliefs always pop up and it's hard to stay consistently happy but when you realize that you create your world from your own thoughts and images in your mind and the way you feel everything will fall into place if you are willing to take a little bit of action and initiative in living the life you want to live. I don't waste time anymore. Sometimes I may do something I necessarily won't want to do but that's just to pass the time. I don't sit at the computer and watch movies hours on end much anymore or surf the web. I'll play video games here and there but I'm making that conscious effort to just learn more. I'm going hard in the kitchen now and trying to keep a consistent schedule learning French. It's awesome man!

[Jeff]

Yeah, I seem to be juggling too much at once. Between: Subs, working out, mma, weapons training, reading, watching anime, hanging out with friends, work, job hunting, friends, just to name a few.

My weekend was tiring. I saw Harry Potter and Captain America Thursday with two different groups of people and saw over 30 friends from school throughout the theater. Then on Friday I went to a Pool Party which was a blast, after that a rehersal dinner and a bachelor party, Saturday was the Wedding and time for me to catch up on sleep, then today I rested and have a new membership at a spectacular fitness center. (I've been in about 4 weddings and still do not understand them, all of which the bride and groom married at WAY to young of an age or settled down. My family was badgering my when my wedding would be [I was viewed as this super studd, but idk why I was feeling like I was]).

I need to get back in the kitchen. I've been eating out way too much as of late. I just need to go to CosCo or Price Chopper and load up on nice bread and meats. Making awesome sandwiches is one thing I am grateful for about my job.

I feel neutralized now I am out of my slump on to a level ground. All I have to do now is climb the rungs of kindom come. Things are looking up. I am impressed from my progress. I am well on my way to being my own man.

I feel this burning desire for power. Not the I have money and influence, but some type of supernatural energy.

[Spiral]

Well I can't sleep tonight for some reason. Jeff, if you like spicy foods you should grab some pita bread and humus and mix some of that Saracha red sauce in it. Also, when you get bacon and sausage stick to turkey. It's healthier. As far as cooking grab some veggies and some seasoned turkey sausege with some whole grain noodles and cook them with some garlic powder, curry powder, pepper, and throw in some chinese five spice. That shit is good.

[Jeff]

Ha ha sounds like it. A friend of mine told me mircowaving or using the oven from cooking bacon is a healthier alternative than frying it. My favorites have to be Greek and Indian food. I could eat that all day.

Well in conclusion, this has been a great experience as I am wrapping up Alpha Male 2011. I would say the greatest trait I attained was the mastery over my emotions. Losing my temper or going overboard is very rare and only happens if I permit it. My emotions are realeased, but my conscience mind has a flood gate surrounding them, that opens when I choose to.

In terms of paradigm shifts, I've honestly lost count XD During some stages I'd be far left on the spectrum, on a different stage I'd be far right. Nearing the end of stage six, I am at a balance.

I am using sex magnet directly after I finish am11. Then on the queue is luck magnifier, seek the challenge, Love and appricate yourself, deep gratitude and appreciation, become a successful entrepeneur, find your perfect job, think like a millionaire, learn any instrument faster & more easily, improve your eyesight, improve your hearing, socializing is just a fun game, carpe diem!, maximize learning speed, ultra motivation (in no particular order). I have my work cut out for me I need more time in the day, and more days in the year.

This has been fun This is my first journal, and my last. I will keep all the rest in my gray notebook. I'll be around on the forums here and there. Good job Shannon. I look forward to what is to come.