mat422 alpha journal

[Shannon]

Can you fly Shannon?

Of course. Like anyone else, I can buy a plane ticket anytime I have enough money. I'll probably be getting a pilot's license here shortly, as well. Perhaps even a para-plane, too. Always wanted one of those. Why do you ask if I can fly?

[Spiral]

I thought about it when I first read what you mentioned in your post about flight and how mind blowing it would have been to the ancient times.. and I was just thinking on a deeper level. Like.. if you know how to take flight outside of your body.. I'm guessing physical flight with just the body and mind is physically impossible.. but with the mind? and in real time?

I know it's absolutely bonkers but there have been people to do it... and if I'm not mistaking.. physically (I'm not so confident in my sources since I have not done it myself). One would have to leave this current dimension to do so though. That is why I was asking.

[Shannon]

Physical flight by thought alone is possible. It just requires a lot higher level of, shall we say, "experience" with "being" than I have right now. When you understand that the fabric of reality is a mutually generated thought form made manifest through the will of the collective unconscious of those participating in it's creation, you understand that you only have to master conscious manipulation of your participation in that creation process to do things like fly, teleport, bilocate and shift in time. I, however, am still quite far from that level of skill. And I would have to say that if my beliefs about this subject are accurate, it would seem that sufficient skill correlates to no longer needing to incarnate.

[Spiral]

Wow, Shannon! That flame worked wonders on you didn't it? I still need to go buy a candle for this purpose..

[Shannon]

The flame meditations did do wonders for me, but they are only a very small part of my whole training.

[mat422]

Haven't posted here in a while, but I've got a few things I want to unload off my mind. So far stage 5 has me feeling really smooth, pretty confident, and incredibly detached from what other's have to say. The other day some guy was pretty much yelling at me where I work, cursing me out, etc. I had no anger, instead I saw this man as weak and took pity on him. I stayed calm, answered him in an unemotional logical manner and soon enough he was no longer angry. When you don't feed a person's anger with more anger, they tend to see how irrational they are sometimes. Right now I feel like I'm operating at a higher level of consciousness. I'm able to detach from anyones opinion of me and I have a greater understanding of human behavior. My ability to control my emotions is pretty amazing, I no longer hold grudges or become angry because I see it as their problem and not mine.

Something else that I'm aware of is my indifference towards women. I no longer feel like I have an obligation to look for beauty in a woman. I feel it is now their responsibility to display their good qualities, instead of me sifting through all the bad ones to find the good in them. This relates to looking beyond the image she portrays and understanding who she actually is. Unfortunately as a side effect of this awareness, I feel sometimes it is hard for me to appreciate the positive side.

This is the one thing that I'm struggling with now. In a way I feel colder, but I'm also not. I think it might just be my perception based on my old beliefs which seemed to put people and especially women above me. Once I internalized that I'm just as important as everyone else out there, things shifted. I guess you could say I've developed a sixth sense for bs, which allows me to see the truth of the situation. In the past I would look for the positive, so much that I would bury the negative and refuse to accept it.

Also I think a lot of what drives having a conversation with other people is the emotion attached to it. While I do enjoy having conversation with people at times, sometimes I just don't feel like it. I feel like that emotional drive has always been relatively low. I don't really have a desire to be more social or outgoing, I'm content being myself even if some people don't like it. In the past my desire to become more outgoing was just because I felt I was broken and it was wrong to be the way I was.

However, I can be very charismatic when talking to people and I'm not rude and I don't ignore them. It's just that it is more on autopilot and a mechanical process rather than something I derive pleasure from at times. Lately I've had more people talking to me for no reason which never really happened much before

I guess I just feel disconnected at times. It might be the sub though, hard to tell until I actually finish the set. I feel very fulfilled most the time which just makes me feel content by myself. I just kind of feel detached from humans lol, that's the best way I can put it. It's really more of a feeling that I'm still coming to terms with and is kind of like looking at a fuzzy TV, I can kind of see the picture but there is still more that I can't see.

[Patti]

Haven't posted here in a while, but I've got a few things I want to unload off my mind. So far stage 5 has me feeling really smooth, pretty confident, and incredibly detached from what other's have to say. The other day some guy was pretty much yelling at me where I work, cursing me out, etc. I had no anger, instead I saw this man as weak and took pity on him. I stayed calm, answered him in an unemotional logical manner and soon enough he was no longer angry. When you don't feed a person's anger with more anger, they tend to see how irrational they are sometimes. Right now I feel like I'm operating at a higher level of consciousness. I'm able to detach from anyones opinion of me and I have a greater understanding of human behavior. My ability to control my emotions is pretty amazing, I no longer hold grudges or become angry because I see it as their problem and not mine.

Something else that I'm aware of is my indifference towards women. I no longer feel like I have an obligation to look for beauty in a woman. I feel it is now their responsibility to display their good qualities, instead of me sifting through all the bad ones to find the good in them. This relates to looking beyond the image she portrays and understanding who she actually is. Unfortunately as a side effect of this awareness, I feel sometimes it is hard for me to appreciate the positive side.

This is the one thing that I'm struggling with now. In a way I feel colder, but I'm also not. I think it might just be my perception based on my old beliefs which seemed to put people and especially women above me. Once I internalized that I'm just as important as everyone else out there, things shifted. I guess you could say I've developed a sixth sense for bs, which allows me to see the truth of the situation. In the past I would look for the positive, so much that I would bury the negative and refuse to accept it.

Also I think a lot of what drives having a conversation with other people is the emotion attached to it. While I do enjoy having conversation with people at times, sometimes I just don't feel like it. I feel like that emotional drive has always been relatively low. I don't really have a desire to be more social or outgoing, I'm content being myself even if some people don't like it. In the past my desire to become more outgoing was just because I felt I was broken and it was wrong to be the way I was.

However, I can be very charismatic when talking to people and I'm not rude and I don't ignore them. It's just that it is more on autopilot and a mechanical process rather than something I derive pleasure from at times. Lately I've had more people talking to me for no reason which never really happened much before

I guess I just feel disconnected at times. It might be the sub though, hard to tell until I actually finish the set. I feel very fulfilled most the time which just makes me feel content by myself. I just kind of feel detached from humans lol, that's the best way I can put it. It's really more of a feeling that I'm still coming to terms with and is kind of like looking at a fuzzy TV, I can kind of see the picture but there is still more that I can't see.

Mat, I could just read your posts all day! I just love the way you write!

[K-Train]

Good job Matt! You're almost to the end! This is exactly how I felt during Stage 5 as well. The Alpha Set has made me feel more mature as well, however it's also made me more charismatic, and introspective. The cool headedness you displayed was also remarkable. Feeding anger to an angry person only worsens the situation, although sometimes it's hard not to. Keep up the reports Matt.

[mat422]

Thanks Patti, I'm always able to express myself better in words for some reason.

Thanks for the input K-Train, glad to know that other's have felt the same way when going through this stage.

[Jeff]

You shut that guy down quick. It feels good being able to do that with ease. The subliminal challenging past believes puts me in strange moods at first, then I feel like not just one million bucks, but two million lol.

Hey Mat, I bought a skateboard today, it is hella tight. 8inch Almost board. I am glad I bought it. The ride is very relaxing, but intense. The breeze when you pick up killer speed, nearly fell on many occasions. You weren't kidding on the cardio workout. I was feeling it more in my calfs and foot. Spare a fellow brother some tips? I'd be much appreciated.

[mat422]

You shut that guy down quick. It feels good being able to do that with ease. The subliminal challenging past believes puts me in strange moods at first, then I feel like not just one million bucks, but two million lol.

Hey Mat, I bought a skateboard today, it is hella tight. 8inch Almost board. I am glad I bought it. The ride is very relaxing, but intense. The breeze when you pick up killer speed, nearly fell on many occasions. You weren't kidding on the cardio workout. I was feeling it more in my calfs and foot. Spare a fellow brother some tips? I'd be much appreciated.

Sure, have anything in particular you need help with? The most important thing I've found when skateboarding is to stay centered, if you are off center everything gets screwed up. Always keep your weight centered evenly between your two feet. Also try to keep a slight bend in the knees, standing up straight might be more relaxing when you are cruising around, but if you hit a pebble you are going to go down hard.

Also it's good to get a feel for how the board responds to you. How much you can turn, how shifting weight effects the board, etc. Before you start trying tricks, it's good to really get a feel for the board. Also be ready to fall lol, it's not a question of if but when. If you stay centered you will prevent the slip back that a lot of beginners deal with. A common tendency for people first starting is to lean back too much and the board slips out from under them.

Oh and one more thing. This is a bad habit I'm glad I got rid of, it's called pushing mongo. When you push you want either your left foot up by the bolts and right foot pushing(called regular) or your right foot up by the bolts and left foot pushing(called goofy). Mongo is when either your left or right foot is at the bottom of the board instead of the top. The problem with mongo is sometimes the board will lift up when you are pushing and it's harder to get your feet on the board to set up for tricks.

Just wait till you start learning tricks, your legs will hate you lol. After an intense day of skating my legs are like jello the next day.

[mat422]

So lately my attitude towards life has been so laid back and spontaneous at the same time. Like I'll just say screw it you only live once and just enjoy myself as much as possible. Life is way too short to worry about the small things. So I treated myself to a new skateboard because I was just living in the moment. Yeah, in the back of my mind I'm worried about money to some degree, but that's only because I was so tight fisted back when I didn't have a job. Now that I've got money I can treat myself to something nice. Balance is key, I only buy something if I really really want it. Like today I bought a PS2, only 40 bucks, how could I say no lol? I love video games and my PS3 isn't backwards compatible, but there are a ton of good games for PS2 still out there and some I'd just love to play again.

Anyway, it just made me realize how fear used to make me worry about stuff instead of enjoying life. Of course this doesn't mean throw all responsibility out the window, but also don't be so strict with myself. I love that phrase live each day as if it were your last. Sometimes it's just better to go with the flow instead of trying to constantly plan out something to the point of attempting to control too much.

Along with this I realized life shouldn't be taken seriously all the time. When I used to think of alpha male I used to think of presence, being in the moment, exuding dominance. But I'm internalizing more and more, just do what I want to do, not a preconceived notion of what I should do. Yeah I can be dominant and I have a lot of presence, but rarely is someone like that ALL the time. If they were, how boring would that get? I realized you can just let that go, be yourself and when you need to put your foot down or get dominant you can bring it out. But, the thing is this advice wouldn't work for 90% of guys out there because being themselves is actually what society has conditioned them to think of themselves not who they truly are, a natural alpha male.

Overall you can give advice to guys, but if they don't feel alpha they won't be alpha, period. This is why I can't even put into words how to be alpha, because it truly is something you feel and experience, it's beyond logical comprehension at times. I used to think beliefs were a gimmick and if you practiced meditating or being in the present moment things would be better and programming new beliefs was just a form of feeding the ego. Wrong, you are a reflection of what you believe and others can see it even if you can't. I can't tell you how great it feels to know that I can just let go and be that guy that I've always wanted to be. This also makes me think of how reality operates, I now truly believe that having the right beliefs will grant you success in any area of life. It's like switching paths and suddenly things are on that new path that the old one would never have had. Your reality literally shifts and you are amazed by it. It also makes you realize that you can just keep going, keep building a better and better reality. Each reality you step into you say it couldn't possibly get any better, but it can and it does if you know how to get there. I feel our self imposed limits on ourselves can be broken but people live in fear and are unwilling to accept the unknown.

[Shannon]

Great post, Mat. I'd rep you again, if it would let me.

[Jeff]

Sure, have anything in particular you need help with? The most important thing I've found when skateboarding is to stay centered, if you are off center everything gets screwed up. Always keep your weight centered evenly between your two feet. Also try to keep a slight bend in the knees, standing up straight might be more relaxing when you are cruising around, but if you hit a pebble you are going to go down hard.

Also it's good to get a feel for how the board responds to you. How much you can turn, how shifting weight effects the board, etc. Before you start trying tricks, it's good to really get a feel for the board. Also be ready to fall lol, it's not a question of if but when. If you stay centered you will prevent the slip back that a lot of beginners deal with. A common tendency for people first starting is to lean back too much and the board slips out from under them.

Oh and one more thing. This is a bad habit I'm glad I got rid of, it's called pushing mongo. When you push you want either your left foot up by the bolts and right foot pushing(called regular) or your right foot up by the bolts and left foot pushing(called goofy). Mongo is when either your left or right foot is at the bottom of the board instead of the top. The problem with mongo is sometimes the board will lift up when you are pushing and it's harder to get your feet on the board to set up for tricks.

Just wait till you start learning tricks, your legs will hate you lol. After an intense day of skating my legs are like jello the next day.

I ride regular. Although, being an ambidextrous skater is one of my goals. Two issues I am having trouble figuring out on my own are:
-Slowing down (especially slowing down when going fast down a hill)
-Turning (heels dig backward & balls of feet push forward) or push down with back foot and turn body
**** how do you turn when going fast

Oh and large sidewalk cracks are a slight challenge. Tips? Thank you for the advice, I want to be able to ride decent before I start the fancy tricks.
[/quote]

I second that. I have doing some slight indulging with my money, bought the P90X and a nice skateboard. They are both long lasting and great for me. Cash well spent. The gear switch is easy, just getting to that point where you are able is the more challenging aspect. Keep the goodness of life coming