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+--- Thread: ASC 5g journal (/Thread-ASC-5g-journal)
RE: ASC 5g journal - rayrocanaldo - 02-14-2016
(02-14-2016, 05:20 AM)Natious Wrote:(02-14-2016, 02:19 AM)rayrocanaldo Wrote: Do we have to use alpha male before woman magnet or sex magnet ?
This is answered in the very first lines of the very first paragraph on either SM or WM product page.
Yeah I saw it. Sucks cause I wanted to use woman magnet frst
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-14-2016
day 69 ( 27 days remain + whatever is needed )
I decided to not listen to the sub last night to give my mind the time to process it. It feels as when I started listening to the subs. Im feeling very confident right now. The amount of hours I listened before was around 21 hours, which was probably to much. It did made me face with how much I am addicted to listening to the sub, and how much it has turned in some habit. The changes are clearly felt right now pleasantly. I have had glimpses of absolute confidence, with the focus on absolute. Wonder how deep it can even go. It felt absolute, doubtless and solid, transcendental and free.
I have an growing disdain inside. Its saying and realizing "i dont need you" and then all actions that said person may do ( ridiculing, disqualifying, disrespecting, playing tricks on me ) and I simply turn cold. I say "i dont need you" without further thinking but let it sink in and flower. Its an step towards my own personhood, self realisation and pre-selection. People do disqualify themselves and I live in abundance. It can border on abusive and harsh to be honest but I really dont care. It makes me arrogant aswell. Im getting aware of the games played by people and I simply dont put up anymore with it. Feels huge. Nothing to prove, no need for an comeback. Just cold, harsh, blow out. Indifference. Its less significant then it might be perceived as. Simply non-compatibel, which is utterly liberating. It breaks some barriers down. I dont need to prove myself whatsoever and people disqualify themselves. My attitude towards many people is negative yet indifferent. Indifference means change.
I experience at times still this crushing in my chest area when Im getting blow out. Its probably coming from an needy place but it can put me really off. The sub covers more and more.
Had an breakthrough yesterday in terms of vision. To succeed vision and confidence bordering on delusional is the only way to go. It was an reality shift in this. Allignment. Aspiring the highest and the throne. To take over the lead of an company. My vision is skyhigh, my aim beyond. Its setting me apart from people.
I no longer worry about certain topics. before I would get all anxious, but now its no longer there or replaced with confidence. Currently my confidence is again rising, growing, increaing and I feel highly confident. Its like the pieces fall together right now, an letting go like an balloon and letting the sub dominate.
My caring level is low. Im feeling not bothered at all. Im in my own bubble. I simply am.
Giving up on it all seems to turn me into an magnet aswell. The itn doesnt matter,. Abundance. Indifference. Stop looking, stop caring, stop giving an crap. Its no apathy, its utter freedom, which aswell is part of the sub and an theme for myself. Like, its an drop of everything, non resistance and seems to cause the sub to sink in deeper. Its ultimate joy and abundance.
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not." Tyler Durden
The sub is going strong and I feel euphoric in every way. Its hard to put in words, its flowing. Breakthrough. Domination yet so much more then that. Also, words like habit and such make my mind click and get off on it. Like life being re-written. Im ecstatic.
It brings out feelings to the surface that make me feel less confident but now this confidence is already stronger. There is still stuff to face inside and I get ocassional glimpses. I might supress without wanting to, block and deny. It eventually will all be dealt with, like neediness for example.
Edit: cutting back hours of listening seems to bring me aswell back in the breaking of boundaries holding me back and putting me in risk taking wherever i go. Im feeling incredibly confident at this point, the world is mine.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-15-2016
Obvious changes are obvious. I feel like passing through an needle as the sub keeps pulling me through it. I can only continue there and feel so damn confident. Abundance in slipping through every facet in my life currently and I feel like tony stark in terms of abundance. His alphaness and non caring attitude. I couldnt care less about girls right now and all is good.
Also, Im transforming. Im very selective, almost like im clicking screens away on an monitor kind of when people bullshit me. Its like "okay, fine, next, your out"lol. Abundant knowing there is no loss.
Im indifferent to it at all, indictaing mssive inner changes. I also notice its going in unknown areas which means an burst and acceleration is to be expected and already going on. Im on top of the world. Im presenting myself differently, speak differently aswell. Life is faced with confidence, no fear whatesoever, the linger of failure is met with an indifference aswell, just being indifferent towards, loss, blow out or success. I expect succes in every way. Succes is the frame being set.
I even hear tony stark in my head >_>.
But whatever, Im less interested in people and what not, present myself totally as me, as myself whatever that means.
When looking in the mirror I look very attractive yet I dont feel much aswell towards it. Im just confident. My hair looked like shit yet it was awesome.
I do experience vileness once in an while, I turn poisonous, venomous. I expect eye contact now, less caught off guard which did happen at times, like some internal reaction that popped up eventually. Im very honest aswell, feel responsible. Im having all kind of mental inspirations going on, milionair mindset, luxury life and am thinking when one runs this sub, he/she can become an workaholic. yet there is this sense that one will eventually lose interst to venture further and develop himself/hnerself further. Im feeling very inspirational, and experience the okay no matter what feelings and an wisdom. I feel beyond many people in this. Today its an tony stark day yet I look already pass that as I am not tony in the end.
I just indulge. I also feel like giving value and adding value instead of being confident, but more like giving in abundance? Highly active and pursuit kind off. Being leader and alpha but having cboice. Ride the waves of change. Cynical.
massive acceptance in all i do and such, total self validation. My dance has improved and I dont need this validation from others or their views. I cannot yet put it into words because this shift might be fresh to begin with. I can tal;k with people because i am indifferent towards them, its an whole other starting point. Its no tension, nor needyness thats there. Its just socializing, communicating and escalating if I see possibility and want to, or feel it.
Yet it seems to make me also more witty and less serious in an confident and non caring way. Not something thats outside my control tho. The sub has made so many things more easy.
Surrender to the sub. The times are here. Do not resist. let go. Give up.
RE: ASC 5g journal - apollolux - 02-15-2016
"am thinking when one runs this sub, he/she can become an workaholic"
That's interesting, I had the opposite effect. In my case, though, it was likely a change from "no matter what I do it won't be good enough" to "I'm confident whatever I do will be good enough" and my perceived productivity lowered dramatically.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Dubls - 02-15-2016
(02-14-2016, 11:40 PM)Kol Wrote: To succeed vision and confidence bordering on delusional is the only way to go.
Yes
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-16-2016
My sweet spot seem to be around 14-16 hours listening to this sub. More is not slways better and yesterday evening consisted of waves of breakthroughs. My head gets all hot when this happens.
Im becoming aware and opposed to more patterns and embrace the more traditional leader image, consisiting of boldness, disregard of being liked ( or even disliked?) , abundance, militant and high status rank kind of. Yet I dont care. Appealing to the female mind.
Im in no competition whatsoever, the masks are falling off, which makes sense when one wants to improve and have succes. Its another ballgame.
Carrying myself from an deeper sense and choocing words reflecting value and status. I am confident in many ways and lots of ways.
I experience myself as larger, taking up more space in the litteral sense, as if I have grown. makes perfect sense. The room looked smaller.
I might visit my parents at some time, while before i was hesitant towards it, clearly influence of the sub.
Im on an total different level, my vision is open, wide open, broaden and expanded. Its an sense of arriving at some mass event but in an highly important fashion and manner. All is embraced, I dont care, Transcending. An deeper sense of deservedness. My approach to "joining"such events is met with an slight thrill. Not much as it is all so natural now.
Its like this but smoother, more sophisticated playboy like but oozing status:
![[Image: 98f36e5eae81d57bd8b98b43d475e19a.jpg]](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/98/f3/6e/98f36e5eae81d57bd8b98b43d475e19a.jpg)
I noticed my head going slightly numb, blood pumping around, mind exploding with possibilities. Not an follower. I seem to lose interest on this pattern when it is there, to be reminded I am no follower. Im edgy risky and take huge leaps right now, yet it is no big deal. Imagine being carefree and burn all, sacrifice all, yet being unaffected by it. Total freedom.
Lesser caring about eye contact now, less stuck up with it.
Attraction beyond the physical. I am absolutely attractive. As I am 26 I had many self image issues around it. This has shifted.. Im bold, masculine. escalation fills my mind. The hard moments I experienced in the last weeks could be the result of over exposure to the sub and not enough processing time. Im in allignment almost. Paradise. All is so smooth.
to day is day 70 ( 26 days remain + whatever desired )
All I worried about is replaced with sheer confidence, the responses in my head from people are directly adjusted, the outcome is directly faced by the sub and confidence, correcting. Im totally ecstatic currently. An shift in reality has taken place, approach is even more smooth at this point, I cant really put it into words, other then being alligned with reality and all will be succes. Its even going deeper from this point.
I woke up only to have the sub kick back in in full force. i havent listened last night, Im getting around 14-16 hours.
Im feeling totally open.
I experience anger again, lots of it. being all lashy, actual swearing out loud and what not. My thoughts are all over the place yet i sense its an further growth. Im literally pissed ioff currently.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-17-2016
Had strong escalation impulses with my therapist, she did buttdisplays, giggled, made at times eye contact and was highly receptive, came close on purpose like being magnetic pulled to me. I noticed my confidence increased by the minute when there, in the moment the sub took care of it, anxieties and tension where just that, tension. On the way back home I experienced an total freedom, nothing mattered in an non apathic way. Just bliss.
+ people tend to get more submissive when making eye contact, which gives an sense of power, part of me is still in doubt about this all at times. When making eye contact with couples, I noticed an woman lighting all up, making me think she is with some beta and I can give her easily more ( not out of neediness )
+ my natural state is slightly upperhand. Im sure I can equally conversate and communicate with authroity figures. Its no issue any more. Its settled and comes natural now. Its even somehow not making sense in my mind how people get all submissive around authority figures, yet i came from such an place. I simply dont care.
+entitlement to my speech and words, aswell an hierachy thinking and ascending to such status to go beyond it. It ties into leader and authority. makes me at times indentify with the very formal stiff kind of authority and non consideration of feelings at all. Almost like some very strict boss. Feels very serious and devoid of empathy. Will is law.
+deeper conveying of status
+When cathcing glimpes of myself walking in reflections, its very Obvious.
+ feeling of having some invivible james bond aura and shield, untouchable
+ Open up with touch, there is simply no doubt. yes I could escalate with my therapist, but didnt do it. Escalation puts ME into frame and in the zone of it all.
+Noticing the sense of hurry is gone, i walk slower and correct myself
+ people naturally open me and acknowledge my dominance and authority
+ I dont care if people check me out, Im getting playfull and couldnt care less which triggers deeper levels of feeling attractive.
+ getting more bold and outspoken
+ Interest in money and succes, going to change my diet and health habits.Im feeling absolute confident right now in every way.
+ moments that I am less serious and dick around ( yay memes )
change in taste in woman. before it was disinterest till the point of none at all, its shifting now that I can approach without neediness just for the sake of it or that i want. Anxiety mindset doesnt exist anymore, Its casual business like aswell and 100% succes in my mind, Its like networking my reality.
+ developing attraction traits, more open, cokyness, escalation, instead of mere logical mind. spike feelings. tune in.
+ My interest is more strong in terms of investment.
+I can easily lay girls at this point in my mind, the feelings ar really strong and solid. Its not an neediness but more an abundance, love? Unsure how to call it.
day 71 ( 25 days remain + ?? )
Looking into investment and the business world. Going to set up some routines and strategies. reading literature on money and succes only to increase and improve my knowledge around it. have to finish Sigma shock still and will read Unchained man: alpha male 2.0, no more mr nice guy and the books shannon suggested to read while on AM 6.0.
Speaking my mind is something still to be worked on as it is something persistent. ASC has still more to offer right now and i woke up in an confrontational mood. Some thoughts are being dealt with and had an slight moment of resistance towards listening to the sub. Notice sometimes something accelerates in terms of progression, like on an faster current.
Edit: more changes are going on, an sense in my chest. It feels like some space is made and some clearance is taking place as well as not caring. light stress going on and slight headache. Listening to the ultrasonic currently. When Im giving up all, the sub goes full force ( resistance/conviction? )
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-18-2016
day 72 ( 24 days remain + ?? )
had some strong dreams last night involving some guy I know strongly opposing me, went all out against me, basically one big clash and confrontation. The guy is the definition of beta, maybe even omega, aswell having Ivan Throne involed ( dark triad man on twitter ) Im feeling more alpha right now as i write, I begin to develop an strong dislike against bèta's, orbiters and white knight and the whole feminist sjw crap. I am not really agreeing with anyone or lose interest half way when I realize that I get caught up in some hype basically and am totally calm under it.
I understand the leader role more and more, how depending on state ruins state, how I am an high value and status male. Its an given at this point,
I feel disconnected from myself at times but nothing to worry about, might be an catch up and acceptance of new reality shift. Im not caring about where the changes are bringing me at all, before i might worry about how radical they are but now I dont give much thought to it, other then embracing the changes.
I feel people holding me back more and more because I am on an different level. I am absolutely confident and attractive. Im feeling slightly tired, moody, could be because I had no coffee and might quit coffee. Its getting all more smooth, natural. Right now, only when I write i seem to be aware of the changes, otherwise its like I dont pay attention which might be the naturalizer.
I hold myself high and tolerate no bullshit. people open me now. Im thinking how this sub might translate at times in the high school american popular guys who have an certain attractive vibe towards girls.
Im embracing the masculine. Im thinking how I am evolving further, and how my skilset is developing further, developing instructions with how no girl seem the same and am general fed up. Dealing with several situations and how the sub makes it all automatic, in terms of approach and dealing with situations. came aware of this when thinking about how explanation might turn off and kill vibe. ride it.
Everything is an ride, solid and fluid. automatically.
Im not feeling it today, bit sad, tired and drained. have thoughts passing about Blackdragon alpha 2.0 and the abundance. It comes natural to me, conveying status, high value, non neediness. Its being in Paradise basically but am not making myself illusions its all innocent and fantasy like. I have thoughts passing or rather images how woman are turned on by high status man/managers because of some high status role.
Total relaxation and confidence everywhere I go. relaxing on the spot. Having an edge at times, being an asshole, I can see how this sub might change one in that direction.Im very driven towards education, carreer but know I am confident aswell when Im less busy perhaps.
dealing with people is smooth and see myself having such an job. I know confidence is not your job, carreer and what not ( think fight club ). Forbes society and the such is very appealing.
Getting at times annoyed by everyone and everything basically. More undirected but can see how this sets me apart. I need to expand my social circle. |iI can hit up anyone basically but need something more concrete, the friend manifestation of AM 6.0 plays on my interests. Im straightening my life basically lately, planning up. My mind consists of possibilities and new oppurtunities, opening up new paths due the increase of confidence.
Sexual confidence is growing. doubt and thoughts are directly countered by asc. Im off the charts more and more. have some thoughts popping up about space to bed women. Slight doubt popping around, which really dont make sense but mostly when such is brought to my attention, it is dealt with and replaced with confidence. Nothing can stop me. Off the charts confidence experiences more and more, utter confidence and sureness radiating without any doubt at all but growing. Other peoples looks that would trigger some doubt inside before and now even blocked or/and dealt with with. Invade, infiltrate space, be sexual and touching, seduce.
Reduced my listening time to 14-18 hours. 21 was to much. dreams are returning, less head fog and resistance, more smoothness, less pressure to fill all hours.
Total disinterest in relationships at times, like the want is not there at all, not even popping up. Im planning on doing an speech for an huge group, just knowing i can do that, translating this confidence in many other areas of my life. Im getting arrogant at times aswell, being all disregarding, aswll as feeling an slight agression going on.
Bodylanguage keeps changing. annoyed by certain stuff in terms of social circle, and current events, involving lots of beta-ness, small vision, just not elevating and appealing. I give value, I dont need to take value at all anymore. Its gone, im naturally aspiring the throne, walking with some james bond shield of invincibility and direct authoritarian commanding aura, standing and stepping out.
\had some childhood sensations coming up aswell as traumatic events in my life involving my father. Im beginning to develop some slight respect towards him in an way, which is strange. The events that involved suicidal actions and what not due sheer pressure and ptsd trigger galore back then. Im now feeling being the leader of the family and will ascends to new hights. Thinking family and all that stuff aswell, legacy. When I slow down i want to be more individual and alone-ish in an way, tho socializing is an automatic action. reclaiming the leader role.
Going to join the gym, still reading into money, success, changing my food intake, preparing maybe for something.
Im highly curious as to what AM 6.0 will do with me and am questioning if I should go on for full 96 days of asc ( ofcourse i should ) Im more alpha already.
What I notice at times is as if the sub is not felt at all, its yet so subtle and natural, an given even. Im also gaining knowledge in terms of bodylanguage, picking up what I read faster, translating and learning about, seeing more betaness around me or Im increasing in value. I want to externalize this value and make it an extention from myself, manifesting. Success in every way. I might rise above many which explains why I see certain traits in other people. At times i dont want to do anything, just nothing, just being.
RE: ASC 5g journal - TheCarp - 02-18-2016
(02-18-2016, 04:21 AM)Kol Wrote: day 72 ( 24 days remain + ?? )
Im highly curious as to what AM 6.0 will do with me and am questioning if I should go on for full 96 days of asc ( ofcourse i should ) Im more alpha already.
Im on Stage 1 , Round 2 of AM 6.0, and I can say you have made great progress. AM 6 also generates all these feelings starting from Stage 3. The IDGAF attitude is simply phenomenal to experience.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-19-2016
(02-18-2016, 05:33 AM)TheCarp Wrote:(02-18-2016, 04:21 AM)Kol Wrote: day 72 ( 24 days remain + ?? )
Im highly curious as to what AM 6.0 will do with me and am questioning if I should go on for full 96 days of asc ( ofcourse i should ) Im more alpha already.
Im on Stage 1 , Round 2 of AM 6.0, and I can say you have made great progress. AM 6 also generates all these feelings starting from Stage 3. The IDGAF attitude is simply phenomenal to experience.
Thank you.
--------------------------------------------
day 73 ( 23 days reamain + ?? )
Having lots of conficting thoughts, not feleing much towards confidence orm anything. had some breakthrough yesterday that confidence simply is, almost separted from my actions and what not. The subconscious programming breaking through and more and more dominating the conscious mind, absolutely attractive. Being overtly distancing from beta behaviour and speaking out of it turned tables when interacting with females and Im growing in my masuclinity awareness. Influx and increase in confidence and confident energy, more and more opposing mental masturbation and am action based. sheer confidence and being present.
Feelings of ruthlessness and primal. More dominant and freeër in conversation. getting disconnected awareness from certain patterns of neediness and how I interact, like being observer. Also have thoughts of ASC being more compact like an drill while the multistage might be very round and way more complex. Im repulsed by bèta's, orbitters and the such. I really dont give an utter shit to them and get hostile from those thoughts, separating msyelf from them. Its utterly futile and declare my rise. Im repulsed from beta neediness and desparatedness. Polarisation. taking it all in. When i will run AM 6.0 I will fully dedicate myself to it. Im feeling hostile and opposing, my mind filling with actions.
I penetrate through the eyes of female. Im dominant.
being abundant and non needi is basically invincibility.
It might be resistance but I have re-occuring thoughts of quitting and already jump the multistage badwagon. Also have re-occuring sensations that the sub is coming to an end, which accompanies feelings of dissapointment. Guess this comes from an deeper level taht is being dealt with as it seems so opposite. I right now as I type seem to somewhat get back to the ASC state and non caringness. Its being in my own world yet amidst them. Abundance is like being in Paradise. Abundance places me in another mode of existence and being, nothing can go wrong from that place as it simply doesnt matter, which makes it all more attractive and only grows, magnetic. If this is it or not, I dont care. Like free, disconnected yet amidst the social hierachies. Working instead of being subjected to societal programming and social programming, yet I allready aspire beyond.
Its what this sub does. Not giving a shit. Also my attention and time spending is going to take another route. So many energy and attention is wasted. Going to cut out coffee,, smoking and what not as I did before but now more serious. I am confident in my actions, habits and character aswell as personality. Not going to deny the issues that still play, which can be quite covered at times from my awareness causing me to become slightly confused and feeling an sort of meaningless in this. Like this sub is saturating and settling and now I can move on or something. Coult be conscious mind resisting.
To return back on the spot there is more to gain from this sub. I could be on the brink of breakthrough/awareness/realisation.
feeling it in my eyes and my whole conscious now. Time for some action and stop thinking so much about this.
Interesting sidethought: It feels like Im fighting some invincible something sometimes which makes think its resistance aswell as some sort of clinging, causing some deeper rabbithole to go yet totally okay. Im tired of fighting and avoiding. I give up. It makes me confused.
RE: ASC 5g journal - apollolux - 02-19-2016
The breakthrough/realization will probably be your "it is achievable" moment; just continue doing the work and it will happen "naturally."
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-20-2016
day 74 ( 22 days remain + ?? )
Having an slight headache but watching an interview from Christian Mcqueen. My mind is on fire. Each limiting thought is going down currently, like barriers falling one after another almost instantly.
When interacting from an place of confidence, abundance, its liberating. It gives me some sexual vibe, but at the same time im currently only immersed in my own stuff, working on new plans. When interacting with female and she doesnt show interest its fine. It doesnt matter at all. Nothing does. Its the ultimate trust basically, there are plenty/tons of other people and to have one girl showing no signs of interest matters zero to none. I become aware of my value, of high value man in all of this and its rolling.
Im getting aware of more obvious beta behaviours. the needyness. I interact from an place of fun, maybe equality in an way but more human, instead of being all needy desperate. Im lots of the times sexual, im not going to deny it, its feeling more genuine then the beta needy agenda desperation. I choose woman, its an rpivilege for them to mate with me. Communicating with women is not something more special or anything as the beta mindset reflects, its uncaring interaction unafraidness. If she shows interest, fine, escalate for all that matter, if not then its okay aswell. Its not the same as being passive and supplier btw. Its an overhaul in living. Im feeling very sexual right now and yesterday evening kind of shocked me. My eyes reflect quality.
It just doesnt have priority in my mind. business and money and building up an empire does in an way. Its abundance, so it has an sense of wealthy abundance and all involves in it.
yesterday i had approach anxiety surfacing, several women showed interest including one almost shouting across the street an hi, I froze, I got the brainfog and it felt like crap. Right now im in an abundance mindset, it doesnt matter, its as soon as going in the head its over. be open, enjoy, have fun.
Feeling more sharp, confident. Women at times are an distraction in my mind. Im developing an attitude. When met with some friends, it developed automatically. I noticed how I somehow go overanalyzing and I decide to just have fun and the tension dissapeared.
Getting more ruthless, cutting through the bullshit and what not.
Im still getting repulsed over the sjw, betaness, orbiters and what not and its an matter before it suddenly clicks. Right now its more of an slow developing and increase of increase in masculinity, involving becoming more cocky and haveing attitude, instead of being mr niceguy, which doesnt only involve woman, but all other validation seeking behaviour in many areas. It reflects an beta existence and mindset. Cross the bridge.
Before I would somehow be buddy buddy on some level with people, but now im getting more blunt and bold in it, yet i dont give 2 shits.
Im reviewing dreams, im getting more strong in business mindset, more decisive and hestiation is reducing. I feel selfmade. Non needy. All what happebned before seems now tame in contrast to whats currently happening. Im feeling on fire, electrified. Thinking about turning my life upside down, what I aspire and want to work for, my work ethic is high. Its an shift in mindset. No slave mindset of some 9/5. Its reframing basically, taking the reigns and control, confidence with risk involved. To ease this down and let it cool down shows life in an different way, how all the approach anxieties, laws and programming in ones mind in the end cause conditioned responses.
I will get what i want. Its not mindless. Its confidence.
I currently am in an state that I can pick up girls from the street and just walk up and what not. I have the freefall feeling going on at times. I feel the sub dig deeper and currently feel not hurried and am confident and fine with what I do. Its more synchronized and smooth.
The freefall feeling is one where all accelerates, washes over and where barriers are flooded over and drowned out. I honestly dont care much about the presence, im rolling and only look forward currently, like an chapter is closed off.
Im also sort of occupied right now, focussed, centered. All I do is exciting, confident. Inner game is superior. being okay with it. Like being aware an being onto it with what I do, value. Not being half assy drifting.
The ultrasonic is currently playing.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-21-2016
day 75 ( 21 days remain + ?? )
Listening to trickling stream and so much is happening right now. I for once was/am confused and had an spike in fears regarding talking to girls, closing and all of that stuff. My head is all foggy aswell. I somehow sense its already being overcome and an shift may take place in all of this. I feel pretty amazing right now, but it still feels like somethign being avoided, like its almost some comfortzone thing to not have to interact and find some safety in the whole attraction/magnet thing. When I do introspection, something deep is worked on and I sense all may break lose eventually. I have done it before and it is almost like an shutdown compulsion. I have escalated before and touch and all of that is no point at all. Its just the ocasional social programming and thoughts that pop up. Sexual limited thoughts is not really a problem aswell and am indulging in them by crossing over so to say. Countering them. Its more of the walk up escalation so to say, but this will be dealt with aswell. Entitlement, attraction, eye contact, seduction, confidence. Pull the trigger. its all obvious.
had breakthroughs yesterday in terms of polarization and breaking away from society and its programming. I had an sense of going away, of going inward, of taking an 180 degree turn, which reminded me of Sigma. It was an conscious mind flooding, what happens when the sub breaks through. Its that raw, confident and sure feeling and the sub going deeper and other, new directions, aswell as shedding some layers. The other side of the coin.
When the sub gains even more dominance all will be eventually dealt with. Right now I feel like facing an wall.
Im close to an breakthrough it seems. An surge, thoughts of her being manhandled, needing an daddy and what not, escalating and shift in attitude. Its the familiar feeling of the sub taking over. Its pretty raw, sexual and seductive. The pattern is getting more clear as it mostly was in my head regarding the tesnion and the wall. whatever. Going to do other stuff. pretty inspired currently.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-21-2016
I have an claer sense in mind right now. Its very alpha and just straight to the point, direct and raw. Im im all directions currently, all scattered internal wise. Something is holding back, or atleast, thats what I belief currently. Its this sense that keeps itching but doesnt pull through, Yes I am confident in many ways, but its not fully there yet. |It feels somehow restricted. I can almost touch it right now, its clear in my head. This sexual masculine leader stuff. Im specualating if there is some SGF involved in it, and there is atleast some shitty programming involved in all of this. Its as if being stuck on an leash and Im questioning if ASC will eventually pull this through or that something else is needed to undo this. Breach the walls that hold me back. let ASC fully immerse and wash over. So much insights currently following eachother up now the masked wave track is playing. Its the almost yet keeps busting the wall down.
I want to do the fuck I want to do. Not being hold. Its as if my unchained state is still freaking chained and it pisses me off. Im right on the verge off an breakthrough aswell. I just want to step up on an girl and pull her take her with me and thats that. I find myself to much in my fucking head for my taste.