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+--- Thread: ASC 5g journal (/Thread-ASC-5g-journal)
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-06-2016
Anger is building. frustration si rising. Im frozen on the spot again. Im agitated and push everyone away. Had some smiles from females and some greetings, but one guy went all snobby and then I turned vile. Now Im angry, just general fuck off and go to hell. Senseless emotions, feelings and sensations. Im feeling like an walking time bomb not caring about anything. Had an massive anxiety attack in public, aswell as an breakthrough in conversations. All that was limiting was broken and all became one. No inhibtations, just general pick up sexual reality. Woman were dressed nice and appreciating woman is not the same as neediness. It self deserving. Still, wen in public I noticed some walls-gap being pulled up, causing some anxieties. Done with this overanalyzing.
Ignored one woman, got smiles from other females.
Now, something deep is hit again and im in an very foul mood. Some festival is close by but to be honest, this subliminal and all that is surfacing deserves attention first, its demanding me. I feel like breaking every moment, being all lashy, shut off yet aswell being all angry bordering on rage and outburst. Goddamn. I cant stand anything near or anything at all, not even myself. Its just raw. My body is tingling, my mind is screaming, My body all sore and tense.
Very Attractive when looking in the mirror though. All feels off. reality shifting. Im really stiffled at this point. Revolting.
RE: ASC 5g journal - apollolux - 02-06-2016
It's interesting to see how others write their offline journals; my own is mostly a bulleted list with an OCD method of tagging. You've got a groovy thing going, Kol, keep it up!
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-07-2016
(02-06-2016, 12:16 PM)apollolux Wrote: It's interesting to see how others write their offline journals; my own is mostly a bulleted list with an OCD method of tagging. You've got a groovy thing going, Kol, keep it up!
Thank you. Your reply makes me realize that I have an different way ofm owning my journal now. Im feeling calm.
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- fears/worries are replaced with confidence. The sub overwrites, settles and integrates from this point, manifesting itself in an stronger influence and the past worries getting more and more insignificant.
- Planning to meet up with friends today at some festival. Avoided this kind of festival due to bad experiences in the past. Letting asc dominate today, feeling driven. Interesting but slightly having some stuff surfacing.
- I might quit journalling for a while, I notice an pull towards change in life the last couple of days and an redirection in focus and attention. To go offline for a while. All my dealings are met with strong confidence.
/ social abundance sense integrates. having re/occuring mental images of rejecting girls due to standards and being totally free to do my thing, instead of being all needy, clingy. I simply dont care right now. The world is mine.
- The anger of yesterday resulted in an strong release I think. Lots of moodyness, pretty much Damon from the vampire diaries moody, and realised how anger, being annoyed and all of that stuff relates to setting boundaries internal. Being cocky and asshole like is something that resurfaced and stronger/ more solid this time. Makes sense as I withold in the past out of fear and lack of confidence. Its..addicting. My mind has an habit to pretty quickly look beyond the horizon. The not caring attitude gives abundance. resistance an result of fear and unable to let go. Biting the bullet is sometimes so Obvious we miss it, its total let go/release/leap of faith/stepping in the unknown.
- having strong thoughts of "can get anyone I want" , opposing the scarcity mindset of begging and "does she likes me?", its an shift towards ones own self as being the prize. Walking away, Im good enough. neediness breeds lack of boundaries and just unhealthy states. Also, the whole princessy reality shatters if it hasnt already. Girls and people are nothing special. I am the prize" Still integrating the understanding of girls being treated as little sisters and what not.
- planning to join gym and will do this.
- increase in arrogance/cockyness and disinterest in girls and just an fed upness. something deep is hit.
- thoughts of running sex magnet out of nowhere and alpha 6.0 tied towards confidence. All is.
- think about setting up tindr account. before I would hesitate, now i see it as experiment and test balloons.
- Increase in walking away.
RE: ASC 5g journal - apollolux - 02-07-2016
One suggestion re psyching yourself up: right now you're writing your bulleted list with - , try using + instead especially for the things you believe to be positive and * for neutral or "not yet" or something. You might be surprised at what else in your mindset changes after you start seeing all those plusses everywhere.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-09-2016
(02-07-2016, 11:45 AM)apollolux Wrote: One suggestion re psyching yourself up: right now you're writing your bulleted list with - , try using + instead especially for the things you believe to be positive and * for neutral or "not yet" or something. You might be surprised at what else in your mindset changes after you start seeing all those plusses everywhere.
Strongly appealing and will incorporate this. The idea itself already launces my mind.
day 63 ? ( 33 + whatever is needed )
Last few days was pretty intense, had an shift yesterday and people are gettibng all touchy with me. My escalation anxiety has dramatically reduced to the point that it becomes 2nd nature. The exposure to the festival and going with friends was something that turned out great. I came across people who I havent spoken since I was an little kid. I escalated with an girl which was not my type, didnt make out or anything with her, but we became all touchey and physical. The guy she broke up with didnt do a thing. That non thinking and split second happening, sexual innuendos all over, body to body stuff just for fun, non needy at all and just dgaf. made me think that I once was like that. Not that matters, it feels like it has clicked and can only progress from here.
I open people now on an dime without giving a fuck as to what will happen and just being in the moment with it. Im also getting more aware of slight things in people, such as bodylanguage, voice tones ( which can be really attractive or even an turn off ) Im feeling more and more "i am the prize", I know there is so much more beyond this. I sense it already, the moment before an shift.
My whole state is turned in dominance, people like it, i become unfazed more and more. Yesterday at work I made eye contact with an 8,5/10 and the other girl she was with. No longer was there any thought of doubt, just an casually eye contact and seduction I guess as she was way more receptive as an couple of weeks before, it just happens. It comes down to that. It just happens, and just is. The blond 8,5/10 smiled and was shy and the other girl who has somewhat turned in terms of receptiveness did cockblock me, saying "your really curious right?" and "you can Always try with her"
lololol.Im absolutely solid in my mind. I did experience lots of depression, anxiety and what not due to hangover maybe, but this felt insane. I had thoughts passing by as how this sub is maybe to strong and some sort of resistance maybe which made me seriously doubt what I was doing. Yesterday evening it finally clicked and I overflowed with confidence, an whole new level. Came to realize there is something deeper tbeyond the business mind I have, some deeper confidence, tied to everything. Its basically everything thats confidence.
People want to talk to me more and more, even if Im not really in the mood, im becoming an magnet, the mother of an friend of mine admitted she has an crush on me. Awkward as fuck x 10.
Had an short conversation with another woman ( guess around 40's or so ) mostly eye contact and smiles and hinting. Eventually we shared an smoke, it just goes so fluid. Abundance.
Im really addicted to the sub aswell. It can only get better from here.
At times Im still anxious as to how extreme the changes can be, like my socializing goes all smooth and fluid and automatic, words just roll fom my tongue like an machine, its an bit unsettling and causes some anxiety in me as it just doesnt match. Guess its resistance? I view it an bit like my mind will shatter. Also, I can get into an spiral of downtalking once in an while, which makes me think is an guilt thing resulting in fear. It feels compulsive and obsessive, could stem from fear.
It just happens and just is. Euphoric. Im off the charts in terms of confidence.
Thank you Shannon for making this all possible.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-09-2016
+ intense social push with no outcome other then getting familiar with it, being free of outcome dependence
+ all is possible right now, i am asc at this point, its further digging and integrating in my core being
+ eye contact is an given at this point, its getting more seductive, more dominant at times, setting the frame
+ had an deeper more intense asc experience today where I proclaimed confidence as all that is, ultimate freedom
+ i experience love feelings and bath in this abundance, its almost throwing yourself naked in an group of girls/women, just for the sake of it. Its an abcense of fear, total and utterly amazing. Im euphoric.
Had some intense tiredness feelings today and anxieties coming up, including an slight pleaser phase. I can walk away from people as if somethig has broken and feel pretty awesome right now. Did question lots of things, letting go starts at times with acknowledging it, hence making sense as my response was supression of negative feelings in the past.
When those breakthroughs of the sub happen and I reach an deeper confidence, its almost unreal. Not really derealisation but slightly dreamy quality to it. Im typing now in absolute confidence.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-10-2016
day 64 ( 2 month mark - 32 remains + whatever needed )
Im feeling extremely sexy currently, like my whole existence is seduction at the moment and all inhibitons are gone at this point. It feels liberating and increases as I type this. I woke up with resistance and depressed even after 2 months of listening to the sub.
before I would think about sex in an frame of how an alpha would do it, showing/no showing, being available, non available, high value and what not. Now I'm going beyond this and it is what it is. Its utterly clear how much the sub influences, I cant break away from it even if I want and feel it currently in my whole being. It feels great, transcendental. Im so sure im myself, with my seduction, playfullness, all being able to switch on like an lightbulb on an dime. My whole mind circulates around abundance at this point strongly, like an magnet ( manifestation? )
My mind is getting new ideas and my head is filled with new beliefs and ideas right now, an familiar feeling of growing towards an new level. Its all not lineair, atleast, not from my experience. Im feeling solid aswell at this point, confident but smooth. ASC spreads itaself through me and there are different form s of confident. i also have certain trigger thoughts which can trigger me into state.
Im sort of indifferent towards who i attract right now, and my eye contact is like an seeker, scanning and then hit.In my mind its like all girls who i meet eye contact with will smile.
I have no clue as to where the sub will lead me. No matter how heavy the resistance I keep on listening. I have had multiple instances when I think about it that i felt discouraged and wanted to stop listening to the sub. Just press play and overcome. My eyes radiate. feel seductive more and more and had an understanding uyesterday as how this ties to ASCC after all, instead of an separated reality. Its all coming together and its really great. Its an turn and switch when looking back. I have an deeper understanding of it all which can only reach new hights, my approach anxiety reduces more and more, Im being thrown back at myself and being the best I can be. High value, if people get attracted so be it. If not, fine. It doesnt matter. Chain reaction as my attraction keeps improving. My head is currently flowing and glowing.
I also feel more in control of my choices. Still at times, although seldom finding myself questioning. I can put my attention towards an project and being busy with that. I can walk away from an girl, sort of testing her, but keeping my confidence solid. This feels very attractive aswell and playfull. Interested but not. Non neediness.
Still thinking about running AM 6.0, for some reason I find myself wanting to run it more and more, yet at other times ASC puts me into place to keep it running. Do wonder what will happen if I stop listening to ASC an switch to AM 6.0. Now I want to run BASE...
Thinking about pimping my appartment up. Single person beds are the devils work, so that has to go. Stricter cleaning of my appartment aswell. re/organizing it all.
Porn turns me off yet my attraction increases. Im indifferent right now, not really apathic but more of an whatever kind of state yet options open. My libido is again very low. Interest is gone.
Will read the unchained man: alpha male 2.0 aswell as `no more mister ncie guy` Something clicks currently around this, being more teasing, push pull playfull. Guess the nice guy programming is purged? Also need to finish Sigma shock.
It just doesnt matter,
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-12-2016
Day 66 ( 30 days remain + ?? )
last couple of days are pretty confusing. I have had several breakthroughs that led to absolute confidence and release of inhibitons but currently its more of an confusion going on. Curently my look on journalling is one of to much monitoring. Even looking at it is to much basically and causes an negative mood. Woke up feeling not so much other then an sadness after listening to the sub at night. Its an faint negative sense. Re-occuring doubt in the morning.
Last wednesday it showed how much the attraction is clicking. It was unsettling, im feeling slightly aggressive when Im thinking about it. One older woman kept seeking intense eye contact with me, almost crawling in my eyes. This happenss lots lately with older woman. It made me unconfortable even. I tend to have extreme defensive reactions at memories sometimes causing anger.
Yesterday evening i had an deep breakthrough with the sub, realisating that it works incredibly deep in my subconscious, experienced an deeper and more liberated drive, electrifying confidence and radiation, an shift in reality. Looking in the mirror I looked more mature, more solid and radiated confidence in my whole being. Hesitation is replaced with choice. All that holds people back I no longer experience or is even significant.
My standards are high. Women I find attractive 3 days agao are now sorty of "meh". Women out of your league is an limited belief and illusion. My world has totally shifted in that regard. I also seem to lower value mentally towards woman. It happens almost on reflex. The "yeah she is cute but..." This clicks on an deep level.
The sub seems to deal with guilt, fear and shame aswell? Atleast, it seems to work on it and I will go with it. Its getting more and more insignificant and the responses are brought to light and I go beyond them. As it doesnt make sense to be and doesnt reflects confidence. It is replaced with confidence.
Becoming aware that there might be GSF attached to my eye contact and involved. I tend to talk myself down at times. Other times I am fully in the zone.
Im having an more solid understanding of what I want eventually, plans and am getting more clear in that. Its easy and obvious, Not going to reflect back to back. It has to do with hesitation which the sub deals further with.
ASC tend to kick in when having re-occuring doubts rising such as escalation and interest like at work. Im very sure of it now. Its an push in the back kind of thing, an totally and utterly deservedness.
Edit: I dont know what has happened but im feeling overwhelmed in an positive way. I do indentify strongly with batman character in terms of abundance and social break away. It started with feeling an sense in my chest/heart area, an sort of butterfly feeling but positive ( heart chakra? for lack of better word, no attachment to it whatsoever ) and now it feels like an stepping up the game, an total and utter confidence, beyond all I experienced. It feels magnetic like it can consume my reality right now. This is intense, all brakes are gone now and yet, I feel indifferent to any action. Almost paralyzing with abundance yet some fears come up awell.
I really need time to process this. Holy sh*t. The sub seems to attack all on its path. Like turning it, dissolve it, changing it, and dealing with. I feel it very very strongly influencing curerently. paralyzing beliefs are attacked aswell, like, looked into, just to discard it afterwards and step over. This is such an strong breakthrough. Unstoppable.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Bliss - 02-12-2016
Your journal is awesome man. Some of your posts make me slightly jealous haha. I plan on running ASC after a 6 month run of OGSF.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-13-2016
(02-12-2016, 02:04 AM)bliss Wrote: Your journal is awesome man. Some of your posts make me slightly jealous haha. I plan on running ASC after a 6 month run of OGSF.
Thank you. Im thinking about OGSF aswell as it seems to surface lhe last few days and notice some shame coming up. really wonder how ASc will deal with this, it keeps shifting lately and working on deeper and deeper levels.
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day 67 ( 29 days remain + x amount of days
ASc gets really addictive at this point. Its so profound, at times it blows me away. I notice this sense in my stomach right now and its spreading through my whole body, my legs are tingling at times and I feel again an shift coming up. As the sub digs deeper and works deeper, more doubts come on. yesterday evening I went in an fully seductive state, its all so fluid right now, that at times it creeps me out, which is an matter of getting adjusted to it. There is simply nothing I cant do at this point, its getting more solid and form. My mind searches automatically towards what lies beyond and I literally feel the sub working currently deeper and deeper.
The eye lock gets an deeper quality, an seductive quality. An communication of "i know" I feel when I gaze I can seduce woman beyond their defenses. Its surpassing those defenses. It feels weird, hot even when this happens. Its still an passing state and there are other things besides seduction that I aim for. I seem to easily shift states which can get confusing at times, perhaps not fully synchronizing, I dont know. The sub will take care of this. There is only abundance right now, Im aiming or many more new hights and growth with the sub and am thinking of going beyond the 96 days. Not even sure if this is the sub, and it doesnt really matter.
As the sub goes deeper, new doubts come up. Right now it seems to be directly filetered, replaced and dealt with. I need to write this all still out, only to make sense of it. I still do journal and track somewhat offline.
Im getting out of my head more and more, which feels like it triggers confidence. Slightly anxious as I write this. I cant really put words to it what it is to be in the zone, other then that it is free, fluid and flow.
Im getting more and more selflove and acceptance. before I would spike, but now Im getting more calm, content and accepting in it, giving n sense of deeper settling. This calmness causes new ways for the sub to be worked on aswell as crystalizing it further. Im still thinking as to how solid it can get, if there will be an continuüm eventually of pure confidence. Im aswell looking into OGSF and this causes other responses in myself, shedding some light to it, dropping slightly mood. Im not Always equally confidence, I have moments that I still feel somewhat hesitating towards leaving the house and present myself, when anxious, not fully solid. Unsure where those thoughts come from as it is an turning tables as to when Im fully confidence ( aka, being the centre )
All that surfaces, feelings of defensiveness and doubt are dealt with. If I get such responses I know it will be dealt with. When this surfaces, my confidence seems to be covered, dips until something clicks and break through. It can feel like all is gone but I have no cocnept of how it once was, realising the sub has solid ground. I can only grow further from now on. Learning to let it pass, ASC seems to dominate more and more over these feelings like some wave breaking through and washing over until it hits, as it feels, full force.
Im getting more sexual aswell, random sexual states and abundance in it. Neediness makes no sense for me right now. Im feeling like an leader and leading the girl right now. I have moment of utter disinterest and seriousness, other times Im more flirty and playfull, experimental aswell.
What the sub seems to do is like an drone ( the skynet kind ) and targets it all what ever comes in sight. My dreams get more weird aswell. Im still getting triggered all over the place as I atleast always seem to be aware of something being worked at.
Right now it goes all smooth. Im indifferent but sense tension.
My look on the subs are shifted towards self-development/improvement and working at. not girls or any of that, but self improvement, making it feel women will come as an bonus as i keep developing. Attitude is fine aswell. I had panicky feelings come out of nowhere regarding the subs and how it will mess me up somehow ( guilt?) Perhaps tied to upbring.
Im feeling more mature and able to handle, an shift in attitude towards feelings has taken place. Utterly dominant right now, the leadership qualities really settle at this very moment.
Yes, I am inspired by others but eventually evaluate it by myself. and 180 degrees turn is close by.
Going out with an deeper sense of purpose, tied to high value, self image and confidence.
Seem to have lots of new interests, such as social dynamics, social structures and my mind being more curious and moving further above and beyond.
Dress high value, seduce the world. Again indentifying with sigma.
Im not yet there where i want be, I feel this sub is capable of an ton of more changes in myself, unexpected changes aswell as it goes deeper through my subconscious, digging up and bringing it to awareness to release it afterwards and change. An unapologetic eye contact and solid confidence is what I have in mind currently, yet embracing the changes seems to be an obvious paradox in it. Disrupt changes, non static.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Natious - 02-13-2016
Have you noticed any increased wisdom? On some days I feel like I understand everything (as opposed to being confused about everything), even if the understanding is that "I don't know and that's ok". Some days when I have a conversation, it's like every single thing I say seems to be justified and people agree with it. Curious if you've experienced anything similar
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-14-2016
(02-13-2016, 10:45 AM)Natious Wrote: Have you noticed any increased wisdom? On some days I feel like I understand everything (as opposed to being confused about everything), even if the understanding is that "I don't know and that's ok". Some days when I have a conversation, it's like every single thing I say seems to be justified and people agree with it. Curious if you've experienced anything similar
Yes, I do experience that aswell. Its great. Makes me think of my idgaf experiences to be honest. I notice an increase in wisdom aswell yeah. Sometimes I translate it towards "superiority" for an lack of an better word. I also seem to absorb information more easier and am more curious?
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day 68 ( 28 days remain + ?? )
Woke up confident. Had some weird dreams involving me being some sort of puppet and fighting an evil force or something. felt very occultistic and religious.
Met up with some friends yesterday and notice how Im different. They talk about girls in an needy way, when they see an girl its coming down basically to "i want to bang them" without giving any value. It oozes neediness, like, they want but dont give value. chasing females but having no deeper quality. an girl with an shitty attitude is no 10 in my book for example. Such people chansing girls and just want to take value, or putting girls on an pedestal, gives an vibe that no-one wants them. I honestly couldnt care less.
Im operating from another place almost. One friend kept testing me, or, atleast it felt that way, dont really care to be honest, noticed an slight drop in congruence from an observing point and how it suddenly got to me slightly. It was more on an subconscious level, like when you sense an change in an person. Noticed me restoring myself multiple times because of the sub. Caught myself thinking "im really confident" and was an strong inner state. No matter what, I simply am confident.
I develop inner boundaries. People bullshitting me begins to irk me, while before I runned the sub or just an couple of weeks in this realisation wasnt there and i became confused. This makes me think ASC is an great lead in for AM 6.0. I can command with my eyes, just as i can give the "i want to fuck you" eyes and the "i know"eyes. It made me slightly hostile and felt an tension in my body. Before I thought that being confident and the such equals being unaffected, but acknowledgment and acceptance is part of this aswell. If im getting angry so be it. Its setting the frame and dominance.
I did notice some needyness in myself aswell, blocking my fun mode basically. It felt pretty limiting, annoying, validation seeking. I also noticed how my eye contact dominance is sometimes based on external factors, coming from an different place. When I realized this, my eye contact restored back to solid. I can look beyond peoples presence and notice bodylanguage. One can wear an suit for example but this doesnt directly make him "alpha". I become more and more aware of this, its almost like an new outlook and hidden world.
Smiling doesnt equal confidence. I can be confident and not smile at all. Dominance is simply felt. Confidence simply shines through.
I can approach anyone, no doubt any longer.
Im thinking what I want in life more carreer wise. Health, coaching... Will look for an notepad/book at some point when financies will allow it. The ball is rolling atleast.
The more mundane materialistic things seem suddenly interesting to me. The bucketlist and such. Increase in positivity and optimism while before I didnt allow it towards myself and dismissed it. Comes from abundance as I really dont care at the same time, just life I guess.
Edit: Currently I feel an big headache coming up, an strong resistance in my whole body, low mood, depression, anxiety and plain confusion. My journal will be as honest as possible and not showing only the positive side of ASC. I feel selfsabotaging right now and am aware where attention goes it will grow. But this feels like simple processing. Incredible fogheaded and done with it all at the moment. It will pass but im all over the place in how to approach this, believe that, nothing fees right. Meeting lots of backlash, its almost hilarious. Its an sense of bottled up stuff and all attempt to even think is met with harsh put down. One side its calm, while an other part is directly met with harshness, fed up, feeling ignored maybe, feeling limited and locked up. Its war currently, pretty much resistance full force.
RE: ASC 5g journal - rayrocanaldo - 02-14-2016
Do we have to use alpha male before woman magnet or sex magnet ?
RE: ASC 5g journal - Natious - 02-14-2016
(02-14-2016, 02:19 AM)rayrocanaldo Wrote: Do we have to use alpha male before woman magnet or sex magnet ?
This is answered in the very first lines of the very first paragraph on either SM or WM product page.