Spiral's Sex Magnet 2011 journal

[Ryan]

I have these problems too a lot and I just wanna withdrawn and be alone and not socialize yet at the same time I do...and it's hard...but I also have random days come up where I feel the urge to get out and do new things. I think it's quite a bit of resistance and I read journals on some of the other guys about the sub pushing them to do new things and socialize. Perhaps we are just in a clash between the two sides?

Ryan

[Shannon]

That's exactly what's going on. The transition from "hide from the world" to "get out there and pull down some panties" isn't going to be easy at first. But it will happen. Just be patient, and work on going with the new urges and desires and abandoning the old ones holding you back.

[Spiral]

I guess it's not surprising it's happening toward the end of stage 2. It seems like my subconscious is really trying hard to not take it in which is causing such a mess right now. 7 more nights of stage 2.

[Spiral]

2nd night of stage 3 tonight

Not much has really changed. I got over that period of depression about a week ago but during my business trip I was having doubts about the change I'm making in my life. I feel like I just need to work on letting go more and staying in the moment. I've been good at it but It's a different thing with new people for me.

Also lost my wallet on my trip. I know where it is and one of the guides I know that owns one of the outfitting businesses up where I was was going to get it and overnight fedex it to me. It still hasn't arrived. Has anyone had a bad experience with overnight fedexing? Like instead of making it overnight it takes two nights? I feel sort of empty without it right now.

[Spiral]

Well, got a new debit card today and license and the wallet should be coming in later this week with all the other stuff.

Also I hit on a grocery store girl today because i'm finally feeling more open and letting myself be vulnerable. My breathing was not as controlled as I'd like it to be so I'm still working on that but I need to get over whatever fear I have left of letting women know what I want. Unfortanetly I was unsuccessful today in telling her I wanted to "rub my face in between your beautiful large breasts". She was being grouchy and pissed off that she had to wait to eat her honey bun since they just put her on the register 5 minutes ago or whatever. I was just thinking about her ass and boobs. I almost said "Your honey buns look delicious." but there were people behind me with kids. Of course this is a lame excuse but I'm glad I actually hit on a girl but didn't totally make a pass at her while others were watching and listening in so close by. That's one of the biggest fears I need to get over and once I do I will be limitless.

[Spiral]

This is the fourth night of stage 3 and I've been very much in the moment for the first 2 days. Today however had a tiny bit of neediness but I felt more direction for my life. I feel motivated and determined to make so much stuff happen it's ridiculous.

But tonight I didn't so much. I told myself if that one chick that works at the grocery store is there I might as well say whatsup to her (I think she's now a floor manager or supervisor). I ended up asking her where the peanuts were because I swear I couldn't find them, haha. Anyhow, she found them for me and right when she was in front of the aisle pointing me toward them I was about to ask her about her promotion or whatever. As I took a breath a group of people were just coming out of the aisle and the stopped right in front of her. I was obviously worried about what they thought I may have been doing talking to her like is he hitting on her. That's the first thing that came to mind but they could have thought that we were friends. Either way I was worried about what they think and I shouldn't have. I'm not pissed at myself though. I can't be. I've been able to before talk to new girls in front of strangers but I was just caught off guard by my own thoughts and lost the connection with the girl. Oh well, I'm pretty horny too. Looking at hot women's breasts and butts (of course after some sort of eye contact, maybe ) is something I do every day now blatently hoping they catch me.

[Spiral]

Another update I think anyone on this board would find extremely beneficial for them.
I have just started meditating twice a day for 10-15 minutes each time and only for the last 3 days have I been doing it. I can already feel a change because this is the first time I've really started meditating. I won't stop because the amount of energy I have in the day and how easy it is to fall asleep is incredible. I have also started eating relatively healthy but tonight I've thrown out everything that is literally toxic to my growth as a human. Tomorrow I am going out to Publix to buy some fresh raw organic veggies and some berries. I will also look for some organic poultry... and good organic milk to mix my raw eggs with

I'm getting all these new fantastic life changing ideas from the Authentic King blog and I know some of you guys are familiar with it. Holy balls I love his stuff and so far I can already say I feel fucking fantastic! 2 apples a day a banana several servings of greens some peanuts meat raw eggs and raw milk. New lifestyle. Now to really come out of my shell.. start showing the love I was meant to show. I cannot be afraid of the immense amount of rejection I may go through.. I will smile at everyone now.. and it's got to be a broad smile. All this will take practice and dedication and now this post is getting cluttered. LOL, but through developing my commitment and discipline my will power, inspiration, initiative, and self worth will only improve.

[Spiral]

Whoah things really kicked in the beginning of stage 3 there as far as being in the moment pretty much 24/7 for 3 days straight there and ultimate drive and inspiration. I had it all man. Now It's slowly withered away and I guess I'm moving into a period of resistance but the great thing about it is I KNOW what it's like to be in the moment from moment to moment and I'm pretty aware of whenever my thoughts lead me astray and I just have to stop and relax. A little bit of neediness came up yesterday and some more today and had a teeny tiny bit of anxiety yesterday and a teeny tiny bit today. BUT the beginning of stage 3 just gave me a preview of what's to come and better so I'm stoked!

btw, I only got 3 hours of listening in one night so I have added another day... So I think this is going to be my 9nth night on stage 3.

ALSO, I decided to say screw the raw eggs. I'm not that badass.. plus I like to taste what I eat.

[Spiral]

Blah. Today I feel like I'm an outcast once again.

[Adam]

Unfortanetly I was unsuccessful today in telling her I wanted to "rub my face in between your beautiful large breasts". She was being grouchy and pissed off that she had to wait to eat her honey bun since they just put her on the register 5 minutes ago or whatever. I was just thinking about her ass and boobs. I almost said "Your honey buns look delicious." but there were people behind me with kids. Of course this is a lame excuse but I'm glad I actually hit on a girl but didn't totally make a pass at her while others were watching and listening in so close by. That's one of the biggest fears I need to get over and once I do I will be limitless.

I literally laughed out loud. That made my day I have sort of a similar problem. I can say virtually anything to my friends, but with strangers I am slightly hesitant in my word choice and topics. I am not really sure why. Me wanting that person to accept me? Nervousness? Maybe. I am working at it. I am definitely improving with baby steps. I could jump head first, but I have a lot going on as is in my life, so I am content. And for that part where you stopped with the girl and new promotion, I seem to have that effect and people will do it to me sometimes. Like oh I should stop or what am I doing?

How was being in the moment? I find being in the moment as very serine or amplification of my state of being.

[Spiral]

Went back to Savannah this weekend to enjoy time with some friends and basically try to pick up women lol.

I'm so smooth now it's pretty awesome. However, some things can throw me off guard. I'm still attached to receiving certain reactions from women. But it's alright. All I did was get rejected this weekend. But I also had several opportunities to capitalize and I play it "too cool" because dieing into love is still something I'm trying to work on. I'm definitely still thinking of how people are perceiving me which in turn doesn't allow me to really do the things I want to do but on a subconscious level I'm still having fun with everyone regardless of the things I am doing.

Some new things I tried this weekend were straight up direct game. Only did it with one girl and she was receptive at first but I failed to stay present with the woman I guess. Also there was one girl I ran into I've met before previously and she is very pretty. Probably just really crazy since she has a mohawk hair do right now. BUT I've heard plenty of things about her around town so I felt timid in making out with her. and then earlier today I thought she's probably clean because sex magnet does have a focus on attracting std free women. Either way, I had some good learning experiences this weekend.

[Ryan]

Went back to Savannah this weekend to enjoy time with some friends and basically try to pick up women lol.

I'm so smooth now it's pretty awesome. However, some things can throw me off guard. I'm still attached to receiving certain reactions from women. But it's alright. All I did was get rejected this weekend. But I also had several opportunities to capitalize and I play it "too cool" because dieing into love is still something I'm trying to work on. I'm definitely still thinking of how people are perceiving me which in turn doesn't allow me to really do the things I want to do but on a subconscious level I'm still having fun with everyone regardless of the things I am doing.

Some new things I tried this weekend were straight up direct game. Only did it with one girl and she was receptive at first but I failed to stay present with the woman I guess. Also there was one girl I ran into I've met before previously and she is very pretty. Probably just really crazy since she has a mohawk hair do right now. BUT I've heard plenty of things about her around town so I felt timid in making out with her. and then earlier today I thought she's probably clean because sex magnet does have a focus on attracting std free women. Either way, I had some good learning experiences this weekend.

But this could also be because you are cold approaching women...which if you are unattached is ok...but if you're actually on an agenda I suggest only going after the ones that show some sort of interest in you.

Ryan

[Spiral]

Yea most of the time doing cold approaches just never feels right. But the only reason why I was this time is because my buddy kept going up and talking to random groups of women just generally being a badass. He screws his chances up a lot of the times too but his boldness is something to be impressed by.

Also Shannon, this past weekend some wasted dude tried to get me to come home with him and I was like ok this guy is an idiot but I thought it was hilarious. Didn't you say you put something in the program to prevent sexual interest from men happening?

[Ryan]

Ryan, maybe you should try out your direct game at a single's party or speed dating event...I'd love to see how that works out. A lot of women don't want to be cold approached and it could be many reasons why, they may frankly be sick of it or not even single. But at those types of events, it's welcomed and encouraged... Try it out, let me know =)

Ryan