Jackie's Confidence Journal

[Jackie]

Hi all!

Finally am getting around to starting the absolute self confidence sub! It helps to know where your ipod is...I almost broke down and bought a new one because it got lost in our move, but I finally found it today in an obvious spot (figures!)

Anyway, am charging the ipod up right now and will start playing it right away all day. I'm really excited to start this sub because I think we all could improve on our self confidence. I also have a job interview tomorrow, so it'll be interesting to see if it helps at all.

For me, I second guess myself a lot or feel overly self conscious at times, or care too much of what others think of me. I think I've gotten better over the years from using more positive thinking, but it's still a struggle.

I would love to get to a point where I'm more consistently comfortable in my own skin and not take things so personally. After this sub I think I'm going to follow up with the Happiness And Joy sub. Not that I'm not a happy person, but I think it'd be awesome to feel that more consistently on a day to day basis. Who wouldn't want that?

[ronatello]

I wish you the best, Jackie! Keep us posted!

[Shannon]

Wait for the 4G version of Happiness And Joy. The script is going to be much improved. Looking forward to hearing about your results from self confidence.

[Jackie]

Thanks guys! Well, I landed the interview today and she gave me the job on the spot. Normally, I'm a nervous bundle of energy waiting before and during the interview process, but once I got there I was oddly calm. Don't know if it's because of the sub or not, but I listened to it the day before for about 4 hours. Normally when I go into an interview my anxiety makes my mind blank, but this time I noticed I walked in thinking "I can do this. I'm a smart capable woman and this job isn't the end all be all, so if I get it, great and if not, I'll just move on and not take it personally".

Whatever the cause for that shift, I'm grateful for it. I even joked with the lady who interviewed me. Apparantly I'm not the only one who has a chapstick addiction/fetish! ahahaha. So nice to know I'm not the only one! Shannon, oh omniscient one, if you read this again (which I'm sure you will) I think a "stop chapstick use forever!!" would be a great title idea my friend....no, actually it wouldn't be cause I like my chapstick and it doesn't cause any harm that I'm aware of other than that the world stops for me until I find said chapstick. <sigh> Of course I'm kidding around. Man this thread could be fun for me! Why didn't I start sooner??

Will post more as the week goes on. As for tomorrow...what can I say, it's V-day and me and the boyfriend are going out of town. That alone should do a lot for my self confidence I'm hoping!

Until next time!........where's my chapstick??

[Patti]

Congrats on the new job! And for getting outta town...that's always good for the soul!

[Jackie]

(02-14-2011 06:02 AM)Patti Wrote:  Congrats on the new job! And for getting outta town...that's always good for the soul!

Thanks Patti! Yes, it's so good to get a change of pace and perspective! And there's nothing like coming home and having a better appreciation for it too.

Sunday I played the masked sub for about 7 hrs, and I woke up feeling pretty good. Hard to tell if I was feeling that good because I had just landed a job or was excited about going out of town, but at the very least it's a good note to be starting on.

I really like the masked sub better than the ultrasonic. It's psychologically very soothing to me. I thought it'd bother me and keep me awake, but just the opposite. I slept like a baby when normally it takes me awhile to fall asleep.

Not much to report this morning. Start the new job tomorrow so we'll see if the sub helps me out with that as time goes on. I usually handle myself really well around other people, but of course the first day at a new job is nerve racking. Normally I would expect to wake up feeling that way, so I guess we'll see. Until next time!

[Spiral]

I'm with you 100% on the chapstick, Jackie. and congrats on the new job! What's the work like?

[Jackie]

(02-17-2011 10:50 AM)spiralout1988 Wrote:  I'm with you 100% on the chapstick, Jackie. and congrats on the new job! What's the work like?

Haha! I love it. I actually went 9 hours with out my chapstick today, and I'm proud of myself for not licking a big 'ol red ring on my upper lip. Yup, def an addict, but at least I can laugh at myself for it.

I'm so impressed with this sub. I've been only listening to it since Sunday, averaging about 8-10 hrs of listening a day, but there has defintitely been a shift already.

The last few weeks I've been feeling kind of emotionally fragile for a number of reasons, although since the sub I've noticed I've been separating myself more from those issues causing me distress. Almost like I'm putting a shield up to protect myself with out shutting down. I've been really happy with this because my normal tendency is to over analyse, internalize, and then go numb and get depressed. This time, it's almost like I'm immune to these circumstances in my life right now. I don't know how else to explain it, other than that I feel stronger and not doooming myself to failure. It's like I'm not letting fear take over, but keeping it at bay and telling it to go jump off a cliff.

In work, I've also noticed that I've been more bold to speak out and not hesitate to ask questions either. I can't wait to see how this progresses because I'm already seeing big changes in me, and at this point they're all positive!

[Ryan]

Awesome results! When I first did ASC.I also noticed that shift where I wasn't so nervous anymore. Now I could hardly care, going out somewhere or a job interview, it's more of knowing I can handle any situation thrown at me at the given moment and not have to so much worry about it in advance. I bet you're looking forward to that Alpha Female subliminal, huh?

[Patti]

Yes, isn't that a great sub Jackie?! Can you only imagine how good you'd feel if came in 4G? (hint hint hint)

[Jackie]

(02-19-2011 02:01 PM)Ryan Wrote:  Awesome results! When I first did ASC.I also noticed that shift where I wasn't so nervous anymore. Now I could hardly care, going out somewhere or a job interview, it's more of knowing I can handle any situation thrown at me at the given moment and not have to so much worry about it in advance. I bet you're looking forward to that Alpha Female subliminal, huh?

So cool to hear Ryan!! Yea, it feels like some huge weight I've been carrying around has suddenly been lifted. My heart literally feel a lot lighter too, ....strange huh?

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(02-19-2011 03:02 PM)Patti Wrote:  Yes, isn't that a great sub Jackie?! Can you only imagine how good you'd feel if came in 4G? (hint hint hint)

Hehe Believe me, it's in the works. Shannon knows that if he builds it they will come!

[Cortez]

A ligher heart makes for a better day, that's for sure.

[RainbowAbyss]

Rumour has it a certain website has a chapstick
In the work with opposite sex phermones so every time u put some on
u get that just kissed someone rush-that would be addictive
Glad u started a journal Jackie!
It make sense that u have a lighter heart,
the less our minds can bog us down
The lighter our hearts can be
In a way confidence is all about the faith and energy to let go of the need to try to think everything out
and just know and let happen instead

[Jackie]

This is cool. As a sort of side benefit, I've definitely been sleeping better listening to ASC... is that because the ocean waves are soothing, or because the messages in the script are helping my mind settle down? Either way, I haven't been having to take melatonin to sleep like I normally do. That's pretty huge. Would like to see that continue.

One thing I've been noticing is that I've become more assertive, especially in the last few days. For instance, a good friend talks forever sometimes and brings up new topics of conversations when I've clearly told her that I need to get going, or need to be somewhere at a certain time. I've always just let her keep talking so I wouldn't hurt her feelings. The other day though, I didn't have any hesitation in interrupting her and telling her that I'd have to talk to her later. For some reason I have a hard time cutting people off, but sometimes you have to when they don't get that they're holding you up. I did it and it felt great. No guilt whatsoever, and she even apologized for going on and on.

[Patti]

It is interesting how some people have "the gift of gab" to the point of annoying! And yes, I think for the most part, it's our own guilt that keeps us standing there listening...(like we have nothing else to do!). It'll be interesting to see how she is when you see her next time....maybe you'll even be able to get a word in edgewise!

[Jackie]

(02-23-2011 10:33 AM)Patti Wrote:  It is interesting how some people have "the gift of gab" to the point of annoying! And yes, I think for the most part, it's our own guilt that keeps us standing there listening...(like we have nothing else to do!). It'll be interesting to see how she is when you see her next time....maybe you'll even be able to get a word in edgewise!

Some people aren't aware of how they come off I guess. I'm really tuned into people, sometime too much so, but I usually pick up on if I've overstepped in some way and try to correct it.

I admit, I've been lazy the last few days with this sub. My speakers stopped working and just need to be recharged, but I keep putting it off for some reason. I've also noticed that since I've not been listening to ASC.the last few days, I've been kinda impatient and irritable. I've also had a lot of demands at work that have been stressful too, but normally I try to let things roll off.

When I get off work tonight, I'm making it a priority to charge my speakers up and start listening again. I was feeling great while listening, and the last few days been more stressed out than usual and kinda sick feeling to my stomach. Sounds like withdrawals!! lol

I'm curious as to whether anyone else has experienced this with their subs if you discontinued for a few days, or if I'm just off my rocker?

[Jackie]

Today I'm really tempted to start using Happiness & Joy with ASC...even though we normally tell people that using one is the best strategy to maximize results. It's calling to me though lol. They just seem like they'd go together so well. Hmmm...wondering if anyone else has tried this combo?

[Spiral]

I would just def. do it Jackie. It sounds too good to pass up. Doing 2 should be fine.. especially since they aren't big sets.

[Jackie]

(02-27-2011 05:06 PM)spiralout1988 Wrote:  I would just def. do it Jackie. It sounds too good to pass up. Doing 2 should be fine.. especially since they aren't big sets.

Yea, you're right. It's worth trying anyway, and if it gets to be too much or my brain feels like it's going to explode, I'll just cut back

I downloaded the trickling stream version, so we'll see if it helps me sleep like the ocean waves do....either that or maybe I'll be feeling like I have to pee haha. Oh! But no worries cause if that happens we also have a sub for "end bed wetting"- problem solved! It sounds great though (Good pick Andrew!)

Generally people say that I come across really confident and friendly as well as happy, but inside it's always a struggle. I can talk in general terms about being "happy", but why can't it be a more consistent state of mind and feeling? I've experienced feelings of intense joy where I feel so loving, loved, and grateful for everything around me, so why couldn't I create that space for myself more often? So much of how we feel we let outside influences dictate, but we really have the power and ability to control how we react and feel all the time.

I look at my life, and virtually everything in it is completely positive and good. So why is it that hard to stay connected to that feeling? Why is it so easy to let stress come in? I mean, I basically know that I have the power to either let something bother me, or let it roll off. I've gotten better with this over the years. Man, when I think back on it I used to be really overly sensitive....a people pleaser type who could never feel good about myself unless I was doing something for someone else. That might sound selfless, but it's also co-dependent behavior....not good. It's like I couldn't be happy unless someone was validating me in someway. I've gotten over a lot of that, but I still need to work on finding that inner validation. That's the only kind that really matters.

It's funny cause I know so many things logically, but then putting them into some sort of emotional action is a whole other ballgame. It takes more time for that.

When you think about it, all anyone really wants ultimately is happiness. But what's happiness exactly, and what causes it? For some people it's materialistic things that make them happy. But it's short lived cause the novelty eventually wears off and then they're on to the next thing. It essentially creates a pattern of false perceptions of being happy, but only if something is being acquired. I don't think happiness is any particular circumstance, person, or thing, but a state of mind, a perception that's turned into a physiological response.

How awesome would it be to wake up everyday excited to start the day? I can't remember when the last time was I felt that way. Don't get me wrong, I wake up content, but that's not the same as happy.

I look forward to this tonight. Already I've started listening as I'm typing this out. The stream version is really nice. I won't be surprised if I have dreams tonight that involve me being on the ocean, or floating down a stream....awww...that sounds great. I grew up sailing on our sailboat, so anything involving the ocean and trickling water brings it all back. Those days on the boat were complete bliss. I take back what I said earlier about "no thing" being able to make you happy. For me, owning a sailboat again someday would be bliss.

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(02-22-2011 05:23 PM)Cortez Wrote:  A ligher heart makes for a better day, that's for sure.

So true Cortez. Btw, I've been keeping up with your journal as well, and I know you always mention being indifferent and unattached from outcome. That's something I'd really like to be more consistent with and I'm curious as to whether you found ASC.helped with that, or if you attribute it more to your using AM? I don't want to be totally unattached that I stop caring about stuff, but it'd be nice to let things slide off more consistently with out worrying about it.

[Patti]

That is so funny Jackie! Whenever I used subs with ocean waves or trickling streams, my kids would always say, Mom! enough with the water, we always feel like we have to go to the bathroom! haha That’s why I’ve gone silent.