03-20-2024, 01:34 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-20-2024, 01:35 AM by Have at ye.)
So I'm doiing 1 full loop of Hybrid Trickling Stream/Silent on my phone at 11/15 volume and it feels pretty good (no overwhelm here). Things are falling into place (I've done a lot of work on that shite anyway).
F. in., imagine, that my crazy mum is indeed crazy, by which I mean it turned out she's clinically insane and she's been hiding that fact as long as I've known her (so, my entire life) and that explains a lot. She has not been pursuing treatment nor taking her prescribed meds. She be bonkers, she be. It would explain why she performed incest with my degenerate older brother when I was, like, 12, and witnessed that crap, and then tried to drag me into it through sexual abuse (did not rape me, though - that was left up to my ex-girlfriend, haha, screw that biatch, I'm using other stuff to have her face the music as they say), and my dad was an enabler and is still in denial. My older bro is on the brink of seeking psychiatric care and well he should, but still - screw him as well. It's like I'm breaking a generational curse here, but screw those guys anyhow.
I'm running other stuff (which I can't go into detail about due to forum rules) as well because it's a) effective, b) I've OFFICIALLY RAN OUT OF PATIENCE. I want it all and I want it now, as the man said, haha.
I'm off the crap psychotropic meds for psychosis which caused ED, anorgasmia and anejaculation (or whatchamacallit in English - in short, *nothing* worked) and were making me depressed. I've switched shrinks to a better one, have new meds (although I don't feel like I need them anyhow) without these stupid side-effects, but stuck with my psychotherapist (and am still hot for her
).
I have a potential singing job in the works, supposed to go and perform for the powers that be next week, currently in preparation. I've started practicing at home recently instead of in practice rooms to save money.
I've also taken up regular, daily exercise, use an electromagnetic stimulation suit for cardio (got one of AliExpress on the cheap and it's pretty good), am dieting and losing flab, taking a dietary supplement for weight cutting and it feels like it's pretty effective because I don't feel all that hungry even though I'm eating very little for my usual appetites.
There's not a place in the Internet where I could write about this stuff and my experiences without restrictions so I'm considering starting a blog or something.
F. in., imagine, that my crazy mum is indeed crazy, by which I mean it turned out she's clinically insane and she's been hiding that fact as long as I've known her (so, my entire life) and that explains a lot. She has not been pursuing treatment nor taking her prescribed meds. She be bonkers, she be. It would explain why she performed incest with my degenerate older brother when I was, like, 12, and witnessed that crap, and then tried to drag me into it through sexual abuse (did not rape me, though - that was left up to my ex-girlfriend, haha, screw that biatch, I'm using other stuff to have her face the music as they say), and my dad was an enabler and is still in denial. My older bro is on the brink of seeking psychiatric care and well he should, but still - screw him as well. It's like I'm breaking a generational curse here, but screw those guys anyhow.
I'm running other stuff (which I can't go into detail about due to forum rules) as well because it's a) effective, b) I've OFFICIALLY RAN OUT OF PATIENCE. I want it all and I want it now, as the man said, haha.
I'm off the crap psychotropic meds for psychosis which caused ED, anorgasmia and anejaculation (or whatchamacallit in English - in short, *nothing* worked) and were making me depressed. I've switched shrinks to a better one, have new meds (although I don't feel like I need them anyhow) without these stupid side-effects, but stuck with my psychotherapist (and am still hot for her
).I have a potential singing job in the works, supposed to go and perform for the powers that be next week, currently in preparation. I've started practicing at home recently instead of in practice rooms to save money.
I've also taken up regular, daily exercise, use an electromagnetic stimulation suit for cardio (got one of AliExpress on the cheap and it's pretty good), am dieting and losing flab, taking a dietary supplement for weight cutting and it feels like it's pretty effective because I don't feel all that hungry even though I'm eating very little for my usual appetites.
There's not a place in the Internet where I could write about this stuff and my experiences without restrictions so I'm considering starting a blog or something.
"A man who is doing his True Will has the inertia of the Universe to assist him." - A. Crowley
