D+2
'Sup mo peeps??!!
Ah, the joys of working from home! But for those who suffer the pernicious voice of, dunno, John Wayne Gacy incessantly prating in their ears could question that such an advantage of all that modernity has called forth by progress!
Down to brass tax ... this has been a freaking tough 18 months to 2 years running on, and I have a lot invested in trying to get it together, and not only for myself. Really started feeling it about 6 months ago when stress gave way to some serious anxiety, anxiety coupled with nightmares that are just unremitting. Not that this is any great thing, but I'm good at partitioning things and putting a good face on it, but energy/motivation is for sh*t. Some health issues put me out of running for some time, and it's proving really tough to get back into it, especially facing a New England winter. So, if you can bear with me, I'm 100% committed to LTU. And if it works for me, God as my witness, it will work for anyone. Anyone have any $, job, child visitation, writing projects, health stuff going on? How 'bout it all? Seriously. Then, you know what I'm talking about. And life is about way more than getting through or copping onto some false hope or fantasy.
So, I'm pushing it 11 hours minimum a day. When I can, I hope to add an additional 4 or 5. Also, hoping to listen on headphones for as much of the 4-5 as possible.
It's way to early to give any meaningful assessment, but I will say that I've felt more balanced the past couple of days. Perhaps, it's better to say that I'm not feeling the "fight or flight" impulse quite so much or quite so acutely, and, hence, I don't need to tamp it down and feel the burn.
One last thing -- I've resisted any sort of journal or log in the past because I've felt, right or wrong, it would sap energy from other writing that I'm trying to finish up. However, I do see some real value in this if someone in a similar situation is deep in it and going out of his or her mind. Previously, I'd tried (and partially succeeded) at changing aspects of my life listing to a number of subs. Only this past weekend, I arrived at the idea that while there's much that I would like, or would like to accomplish, I can have/do if I'm basically going through life in a panic or completely drained/decathected like a zombie. My hope -objective, if you will- is to get back some of my old resilience and make some significant life changes, realistic ones at a reasonable/methodical pace. I hope for more than that, everything great to come easily, but at this point "great" is something I'm not sure I could even define.
'Sup mo peeps??!!
Ah, the joys of working from home! But for those who suffer the pernicious voice of, dunno, John Wayne Gacy incessantly prating in their ears could question that such an advantage of all that modernity has called forth by progress!
Down to brass tax ... this has been a freaking tough 18 months to 2 years running on, and I have a lot invested in trying to get it together, and not only for myself. Really started feeling it about 6 months ago when stress gave way to some serious anxiety, anxiety coupled with nightmares that are just unremitting. Not that this is any great thing, but I'm good at partitioning things and putting a good face on it, but energy/motivation is for sh*t. Some health issues put me out of running for some time, and it's proving really tough to get back into it, especially facing a New England winter. So, if you can bear with me, I'm 100% committed to LTU. And if it works for me, God as my witness, it will work for anyone. Anyone have any $, job, child visitation, writing projects, health stuff going on? How 'bout it all? Seriously. Then, you know what I'm talking about. And life is about way more than getting through or copping onto some false hope or fantasy.
So, I'm pushing it 11 hours minimum a day. When I can, I hope to add an additional 4 or 5. Also, hoping to listen on headphones for as much of the 4-5 as possible.
It's way to early to give any meaningful assessment, but I will say that I've felt more balanced the past couple of days. Perhaps, it's better to say that I'm not feeling the "fight or flight" impulse quite so much or quite so acutely, and, hence, I don't need to tamp it down and feel the burn.
One last thing -- I've resisted any sort of journal or log in the past because I've felt, right or wrong, it would sap energy from other writing that I'm trying to finish up. However, I do see some real value in this if someone in a similar situation is deep in it and going out of his or her mind. Previously, I'd tried (and partially succeeded) at changing aspects of my life listing to a number of subs. Only this past weekend, I arrived at the idea that while there's much that I would like, or would like to accomplish, I can have/do if I'm basically going through life in a panic or completely drained/decathected like a zombie. My hope -objective, if you will- is to get back some of my old resilience and make some significant life changes, realistic ones at a reasonable/methodical pace. I hope for more than that, everything great to come easily, but at this point "great" is something I'm not sure I could even define.
"I dunno. I didn't go into Burger King." -- Pulp Fiction
