Stage 2 Day 21
So idk what exactly this stage is doing maybe building more on the attitudes. Idk. I have been trying multiple things now. I started using Pheros again and it seems to be helping my overall being and others. Started taking some Testosterone, this sub is really kicking my ass so I need energy and strength. I remember reading in sebastians journal about being having avoidance to the sub , i been feeling that way too like I don't want to do it anymore. But I've already committed to it so I'm going to finish. This was also the right choice I need to balance out alpha with more masculinity.
I'm sure there's alot of changes that I'm not aware of but I'm not to focused on them. It just feels so natural. One thing though I noticed that my sexual confidence has went up.
As of this week I started watching porn
lol. Part of me is happy but the other is like "F" it. I have been messaging a solid of Mount of women on pof so you could say the sub pushed me towards that. I did get laid as well I been having sex with a friend of mine she's cute , but I want to meet different women. Also today marriage popped in my head I believe is because most males I have a conversation with seem to glorify marriage lol , maybe I'm old or I'm conversing with the wrong people. Idk . I'm not a big fan of marriage at least not yet, partially because I haven't meet anyone suitable. Which reminds me I'm having a hard time connecting with women online. Online dating is one of weakeness im more old school approach in person and see where it goes. Lately I have been seeing if I can push things between me and this cute Latina girl I have met. I have this strong intuition that she likes me and wants me , but social conditioning just seems too strong uhhhh it's annoying. Other then that just trying new things out , it feels like I have been reborn ; being a natural is definitely more fun and alot less pressure. I'm hoping the situation improves and I get to meet some kool attractive women I can connect with. Hopefully I can take things between me and that Latina women in a different direction which I am very skeptical about. Also the sub is making me more focused on making money and getting money . Perhaps because I've realized that women are not priority and that eating is and living a comfortable life is more important.
So idk what exactly this stage is doing maybe building more on the attitudes. Idk. I have been trying multiple things now. I started using Pheros again and it seems to be helping my overall being and others. Started taking some Testosterone, this sub is really kicking my ass so I need energy and strength. I remember reading in sebastians journal about being having avoidance to the sub , i been feeling that way too like I don't want to do it anymore. But I've already committed to it so I'm going to finish. This was also the right choice I need to balance out alpha with more masculinity.
I'm sure there's alot of changes that I'm not aware of but I'm not to focused on them. It just feels so natural. One thing though I noticed that my sexual confidence has went up.
As of this week I started watching porn
lol. Part of me is happy but the other is like "F" it. I have been messaging a solid of Mount of women on pof so you could say the sub pushed me towards that. I did get laid as well I been having sex with a friend of mine she's cute , but I want to meet different women. Also today marriage popped in my head I believe is because most males I have a conversation with seem to glorify marriage lol , maybe I'm old or I'm conversing with the wrong people. Idk . I'm not a big fan of marriage at least not yet, partially because I haven't meet anyone suitable. Which reminds me I'm having a hard time connecting with women online. Online dating is one of weakeness im more old school approach in person and see where it goes. Lately I have been seeing if I can push things between me and this cute Latina girl I have met. I have this strong intuition that she likes me and wants me , but social conditioning just seems too strong uhhhh it's annoying. Other then that just trying new things out , it feels like I have been reborn ; being a natural is definitely more fun and alot less pressure. I'm hoping the situation improves and I get to meet some kool attractive women I can connect with. Hopefully I can take things between me and that Latina women in a different direction which I am very skeptical about. Also the sub is making me more focused on making money and getting money . Perhaps because I've realized that women are not priority and that eating is and living a comfortable life is more important.
It always seems impossible until it's done."_ Nelson Mandela
"Continuous improvement is better then delayed perfection."_ Mark Twain
"We change the world not by what we say or do, but as a consequence of what we have become. " _ Dr. David Hawkins
