12-25-2014, 04:06 PM
Am6 Stage 2
[attachment=138]
[b]weeks 1 & 2[/b]
There is a feeling, that has been constant throughout using this program, only I couldn't articulate it up until now, Its about preparation, preparation,preparation , I had to get ready for something , I didn't know what for , all I did know was that I needed to be ready.
I started to look at how i dressed, what was I projecting,got rid of all the items in my wardrobe , which didn't fit correctly. Invested in a new suit,boots and good interchangeable basics . a decent watch and pen were also purchased. in the days that followed I remember catching site of my face in the mirror while shaving and not just approving of , the appearance of me , but the thoughts and actions that are rebuilding how I now see and feel about myself. it was a revelation.
Stage 2 unveils the many faces of manipulation and you really see it for what it is doesn't matter if its in an email, the subtext stands out, and if in conversation the energy or the motive behind the words will be come apparent.
I'm noticing an ability to channel aggression into action, a guy tires to ease in front of me at an ATM I tell him I'm first and block his way with my arm, and then move forward to occupy the space. again I'm in a super market in a long line waiting to check out I get to an automated till which doesn't accept my notes I attempt to get the attendants notice but he's too busy chatting , then I just shout, only its not a shout , there's a hell of a lot of volume , but its controlled, projected strength HEY YOU
The whole god-dam supermarket goes silent ( it was Christmas eve so you can imagine how packed and noisy it was) and the assistant comes running.
My friend ( with benefits) I'll call her Elle because she's French has been calling like crazy. Brilliant chemistry,we really make each other laugh till it hurts and we can talk about serious stuff and personal feelings too.When we are horizontal its like the 4th July and Bastille day in one. So its incredibly tempting to start things up with her again but I haven't despite her heart felt text asking me to spend Christmas with her. why , because I'm seeing the bigger picture
My valuation is changing, my perspective is changing, my priorities are changing, my objectives are changing. I used to think I had a problem with women , now I'm seeing that they had a problem with me, because I had a problem with me.
The sub is exposing areas of stunted development and generating new possibilities and opportunities for growth .
At the time of writing I stand at the threshold of a decision which can change my life in so man ways, am I petrified- yes, am I excited- yes. constantly amazed at how the sub is helping me move towards the unknown,despite anxieties ,every stroke takes me further out to sea, away from what was, I feel like Howard Roark in " The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand
I never saved anything for the swim back
[attachment=138]
[b]weeks 1 & 2[/b]
There is a feeling, that has been constant throughout using this program, only I couldn't articulate it up until now, Its about preparation, preparation,preparation , I had to get ready for something , I didn't know what for , all I did know was that I needed to be ready.
I started to look at how i dressed, what was I projecting,got rid of all the items in my wardrobe , which didn't fit correctly. Invested in a new suit,boots and good interchangeable basics . a decent watch and pen were also purchased. in the days that followed I remember catching site of my face in the mirror while shaving and not just approving of , the appearance of me , but the thoughts and actions that are rebuilding how I now see and feel about myself. it was a revelation.
Stage 2 unveils the many faces of manipulation and you really see it for what it is doesn't matter if its in an email, the subtext stands out, and if in conversation the energy or the motive behind the words will be come apparent.
I'm noticing an ability to channel aggression into action, a guy tires to ease in front of me at an ATM I tell him I'm first and block his way with my arm, and then move forward to occupy the space. again I'm in a super market in a long line waiting to check out I get to an automated till which doesn't accept my notes I attempt to get the attendants notice but he's too busy chatting , then I just shout, only its not a shout , there's a hell of a lot of volume , but its controlled, projected strength HEY YOU
The whole god-dam supermarket goes silent ( it was Christmas eve so you can imagine how packed and noisy it was) and the assistant comes running.
My friend ( with benefits) I'll call her Elle because she's French has been calling like crazy. Brilliant chemistry,we really make each other laugh till it hurts and we can talk about serious stuff and personal feelings too.When we are horizontal its like the 4th July and Bastille day in one. So its incredibly tempting to start things up with her again but I haven't despite her heart felt text asking me to spend Christmas with her. why , because I'm seeing the bigger picture
My valuation is changing, my perspective is changing, my priorities are changing, my objectives are changing. I used to think I had a problem with women , now I'm seeing that they had a problem with me, because I had a problem with me.
The sub is exposing areas of stunted development and generating new possibilities and opportunities for growth .
At the time of writing I stand at the threshold of a decision which can change my life in so man ways, am I petrified- yes, am I excited- yes. constantly amazed at how the sub is helping me move towards the unknown,despite anxieties ,every stroke takes me further out to sea, away from what was, I feel like Howard Roark in " The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand
I never saved anything for the swim back
