12-24-2014, 09:02 AM
I've always been a high-strung kind of person and could feel my heart beat fast when adrenaline would kick in in certain situations. I tried to get into the (US) army when I was 18 but during the physical, my heart was beating at 100bpm, because I was nervous, and the doctors told me I had something wrong with my heart (which now I know is BS). I smoked weed a few days later, and had my first panic attack when I was under the influence. I wanted my friends to take me to the hospital and I started praying. After that, the panic attacks would come a few times per week without any weed. I thought I was having heart attacks and had the shortness of breath, arm tingling, and chest pain. This happened for a few years and caused me much psychological torture and paranoia. I even went to the ER one time...for obvious reasons. I had EKGs, MRIs, X-rays, and an ultrasound on my heart, all were fine...but it was still hard for me to believe the doctors. I saw two different psychologists over the years, which were of no help whatsoever.
One day during an attack, I just said to myself "Fuck it, I know this is just a panic attack and is all in my head(even though it felt so damn real). And if for some reason this is truly a heart attack and I die, oh well, I'd rather die than live my life constantly in fear the next panic attack." I just grabbed my guitar, even though I was shaking and panicking, and just started to play it to distract my mind. Fast forward to now, and I haven't had a panic in 3 years. Maybe I just grew out of it, or maybe I cured myself. I guess what you should try to do is just embrace them when they come and maybe you'll get over them.
I'll note that I rarely smoke weed now a days, because I'm afraid it might trigger another attack. I only do it if I've had a few drinks and am loosened up, and when I have done it, I still get the feeling of shortness of breath, but it's not an attack. And I've never bought weed in my life, I only take a hit if someone offers and I'm feeling courageous, so maybe you should stay off of any kind of drug too? I don't know each and every drug affects you of course, so that's obviously your choice.
There's more to my story, but it's too long as it is already, so I left a lot of stuff out. But I have wondered if increasing confidence or getting the full affects of AM6 (which I am currently on my second run-through of) can help chill me out so my heart doesn't beat so fast and hard. For example, when I'm about to be handed an exam back in school, I can feel my heart racing, that can't be good, and am hoping I can change my unconscious response to "high stressful" situations. I don't know if the subs can help with things like that, or if I'm just growing out of it, because it has gotten better lately.
One day during an attack, I just said to myself "Fuck it, I know this is just a panic attack and is all in my head(even though it felt so damn real). And if for some reason this is truly a heart attack and I die, oh well, I'd rather die than live my life constantly in fear the next panic attack." I just grabbed my guitar, even though I was shaking and panicking, and just started to play it to distract my mind. Fast forward to now, and I haven't had a panic in 3 years. Maybe I just grew out of it, or maybe I cured myself. I guess what you should try to do is just embrace them when they come and maybe you'll get over them.
I'll note that I rarely smoke weed now a days, because I'm afraid it might trigger another attack. I only do it if I've had a few drinks and am loosened up, and when I have done it, I still get the feeling of shortness of breath, but it's not an attack. And I've never bought weed in my life, I only take a hit if someone offers and I'm feeling courageous, so maybe you should stay off of any kind of drug too? I don't know each and every drug affects you of course, so that's obviously your choice.
There's more to my story, but it's too long as it is already, so I left a lot of stuff out. But I have wondered if increasing confidence or getting the full affects of AM6 (which I am currently on my second run-through of) can help chill me out so my heart doesn't beat so fast and hard. For example, when I'm about to be handed an exam back in school, I can feel my heart racing, that can't be good, and am hoping I can change my unconscious response to "high stressful" situations. I don't know if the subs can help with things like that, or if I'm just growing out of it, because it has gotten better lately.
