06-25-2014, 02:11 PM
I had two incidents worth sharing here.
The first happened at a mall on Monday. I had three things to get: a sandal, body wash and body lotion, and a fragrance.
I first went to get the sandal. Things were smooth, and the girl (who was relatively good looking) was kind. We had a small chat about the rain we've been having. Again things were smooth and was refreshing.
The next stop, I went to grab a body wash and lotion. I was the only customer to arrive there (perhaps it's due to the brand being relatively on the high level, and/or the recency of the opening of the shop in the mall). I was doing some window shopping to see which was the good one to get, and one of the girl working there came to help me. With her help, I was able to grab the ones I wanted relatively quick.
She started a conversation with me by asking if I am a traveler. I told her that I am studying here and told her where I go to college. She told me that I go to a great school that I am probably much smarter than her and etc..... The conversation went for a while, much longer than my usual conversation with store workers or girls in general. Yet, I noticed that during the conversation the girl would sometimes have her arms crossed, and it's not a good sign. But still, I also heard that it isn't always a bad sign, sign of distancing in my mediation classes. Still, I was able to make her laugh a few times, and it was quite effortless. I find that some girls are quite easy to make them laugh. Unfortunately, I still had some homework to do and my shopping wasn't done either. So I took out my cell phone and looked time, and told her that I had to go. She seemed a bit disappointed, but then still I left. Anyway, I think the girl was giving me a mixed signals. She was in the conversation, and she was into the conversation quite much to a point that she nearly got in a way of a customer. (Although at times she seemed a little bit off.) She had a few good laughs, but her arm crossing may have perhaps been a good indication of the negative sign. Yet again, she seemed to have shown interests in the conversation, was relating much to what I said, and etc. I even got to a point of her revealing some personal/private stuff in the conversation. She told me that she had a weirdo once who followed her entire mall, and came into the store to just have conversation. (I feel bad for the dude for not having enough courage to ask her out.) All of these tell me that I could have pushed further and may have ended up going somewhere further. But I didn't. One part of me was telling me that I should have pushed further. (After all, the girl's cute) And the other side of me was telling that the girl is a bit too young (just graduated high school), and some of her other background were just too different from mine that we would not have been a good match.
Anyway, I am not feeling bad as I had a good experience and learning from that conversation. I learned that I still need to work on getting to deeper level, and probably faster, if I were to ask a girl out. After a while it started to get a little weird or awkward to just jump around different topics. Perhaps this was a reason that I didn't end up asking the girl out, or gave her my number, or getting her number. In the end, if she's my perfect lover, I will have another chance to ask the girl out. Probably, and hopefully.
After the conversation, I went to pick up a fragrance, and came home.
I also had another interesting experience last night. I had very little homework for next class, which is tomorrow that I decided to stop by at Buffalo Wild Wings. There I encountered a group of old friends from my previous institution. They were just coming out, so I just gave my number to one of the guys (changed number) and then I proceeded to the bar table.
There, I had a few interesting experience. First, the bartender remembered me, and guess what, I haven't seen her for like almost three weeks, and this is only second time seeing her. This isn't the first time for this to happen. A while ago, before I even started any subs, I had same experience at a different restaurant. Again, the server was a girl, and come to think about it now, she wanted to get my attention and start a conversation, such as specifically pointing to a decoration and mentioning something about it.
Going back to the moment at Buffalo Wild Wings, I asked her if my face is weird or something, as people seem to remember me quite well. She told me that it wasn't the case, but she just seem to remember it well. Well, I wanted to go with asking her if I was handsome or something that she seemed to remember me, but apparently a guy sitting on the right side of me seemed super drunk and seemed to be hitting on the bartender. I didn't want to start a problem, but wanted to practice conversation, so that's why I chose weird instead of handsome. But ironically it may have backfired on me, and I'm going to explain that later.
I ordered a few stuff, including Guiness. The bartender didn't check my ID. Usually, it is that they check my ID even though they know me. But this time, she didn't, and I commented on it. She told me not to tell anyone, and I told her that our secret is safe. After a while, food came, and shortly after I started eating, this guy sitting right side on me came to introduce himself to me. He came to tell me that I look like a movie star, and then he came to show me the Asian dude from Hangover movie. Well, it was somewhat racist, but I laughed it off, and played it cool, as the guy seemed somewhat drunk. And it has been a long time that I got a racist comment, or being made fun of. He even grabbed one of a waitress at the restaurant and asked the girl if I looked like the dude. The girl seemed rather uncomfortable and said that she wasn't so sure about that. (I feel bad for her as she was in a bad spot.) Shortly after, he left, and then his brother, who also happened to sit right side on me, came to apologize to me. He and I had a bit of conversation, and soon I found that the drunk guy was going through the aftermath of break up. The brother also told me that his brother also caused some problem at other places he took the guy out to. But he told me that he had to take the guy out as he was just stuck in his home for all the time. I told him that things started to make sense, and I told him that it's cool, and told him that it was rather refreshing as I have not gotten stuff like this for a long time. (During entire 10 years of studying abroad, I only got about 3~4 times of racist comment or being made fun of due to my race. And the last one was more then 5 years ago.) After that we exchanged handshake and name.
The funny thing was this. The brother came back, and after a while, this little brother went to washroom. He came to have another conversation. Nothing was offensive, nor it got anything bad. And the funny thing was that after a while, the little brother came back, and soon after, this older was asking me if I wanted to join them along as they were going to go somewhere else, probably a club. I told them that I gotta work (although I don't have a work, but rather school work to do, so not entirely a lie) that I can't join them. Besides, I wasn't sure if that would have been a good idea, as the guy was clearly drunk, and he was hitting on pretty much all the waitresses, and even some girls staying at the restaurant, which made his little brother busy with apologizing.
So playing cool rather seemed to have a great positive effect. The drunk guy probably wanted to do something as I was showing to have some high value. Or he wanted to lower my value by making some racist comment and by doing that he would increase his value around the waitress. But my playing cool rather seemed to have turned this dude to feel rather friendly and invite me along. Or perhaps he wanted to bring me along to make fun of me to raise his value. But in the end, I feel sad for him that he didn't have any other better way to go over the emotional baggage he needs to get rid of.
In a sense I feel somewhat alpha that I was able to play it along cool. Yet not so alpha or entirely alpha, as the incident made me feel rather uncomfortable maybe 10~15 minutes past.
And lastly, I am beginning to wonder if I should continue this program, or save it for some later time. There are several reasons for this. First, I will graduate in a year, and given the time to manifest, or even without time to manifest, I don't know if it would be a wise idea to meet my perfect lover during this time. Second, come to think of it now, I may have started the program out of neediness: wanting to experience sex, and more experience with girl. I wonder if this is healthy at all. Third, I also realize that by end of 2015, I will be forced to go back to my home country to fulfill my military conscription. Given this, I wonder if I should use AM6, instead of this sub. I plan on being a translating officer, as it has many more benefits over just conscription, and I think that alpha trait would be helpful to have, hence the reason for wondering.
Hopefully, I will be able to make a good decision on the use of the sub. And hopefully, I will get some input from people in the forum to make the right decision.
Again, the post has become super long, and I appreciate your reading it.
p.s. mentioning of neediness reminded me of another effect of the sub. It killed my neediness, and that it is almost non-existence. Perhaps this is one of the reasons for my wondering of switching the sub.
The first happened at a mall on Monday. I had three things to get: a sandal, body wash and body lotion, and a fragrance.
I first went to get the sandal. Things were smooth, and the girl (who was relatively good looking) was kind. We had a small chat about the rain we've been having. Again things were smooth and was refreshing.
The next stop, I went to grab a body wash and lotion. I was the only customer to arrive there (perhaps it's due to the brand being relatively on the high level, and/or the recency of the opening of the shop in the mall). I was doing some window shopping to see which was the good one to get, and one of the girl working there came to help me. With her help, I was able to grab the ones I wanted relatively quick.
She started a conversation with me by asking if I am a traveler. I told her that I am studying here and told her where I go to college. She told me that I go to a great school that I am probably much smarter than her and etc..... The conversation went for a while, much longer than my usual conversation with store workers or girls in general. Yet, I noticed that during the conversation the girl would sometimes have her arms crossed, and it's not a good sign. But still, I also heard that it isn't always a bad sign, sign of distancing in my mediation classes. Still, I was able to make her laugh a few times, and it was quite effortless. I find that some girls are quite easy to make them laugh. Unfortunately, I still had some homework to do and my shopping wasn't done either. So I took out my cell phone and looked time, and told her that I had to go. She seemed a bit disappointed, but then still I left. Anyway, I think the girl was giving me a mixed signals. She was in the conversation, and she was into the conversation quite much to a point that she nearly got in a way of a customer. (Although at times she seemed a little bit off.) She had a few good laughs, but her arm crossing may have perhaps been a good indication of the negative sign. Yet again, she seemed to have shown interests in the conversation, was relating much to what I said, and etc. I even got to a point of her revealing some personal/private stuff in the conversation. She told me that she had a weirdo once who followed her entire mall, and came into the store to just have conversation. (I feel bad for the dude for not having enough courage to ask her out.) All of these tell me that I could have pushed further and may have ended up going somewhere further. But I didn't. One part of me was telling me that I should have pushed further. (After all, the girl's cute) And the other side of me was telling that the girl is a bit too young (just graduated high school), and some of her other background were just too different from mine that we would not have been a good match.
Anyway, I am not feeling bad as I had a good experience and learning from that conversation. I learned that I still need to work on getting to deeper level, and probably faster, if I were to ask a girl out. After a while it started to get a little weird or awkward to just jump around different topics. Perhaps this was a reason that I didn't end up asking the girl out, or gave her my number, or getting her number. In the end, if she's my perfect lover, I will have another chance to ask the girl out. Probably, and hopefully.
After the conversation, I went to pick up a fragrance, and came home.
I also had another interesting experience last night. I had very little homework for next class, which is tomorrow that I decided to stop by at Buffalo Wild Wings. There I encountered a group of old friends from my previous institution. They were just coming out, so I just gave my number to one of the guys (changed number) and then I proceeded to the bar table.
There, I had a few interesting experience. First, the bartender remembered me, and guess what, I haven't seen her for like almost three weeks, and this is only second time seeing her. This isn't the first time for this to happen. A while ago, before I even started any subs, I had same experience at a different restaurant. Again, the server was a girl, and come to think about it now, she wanted to get my attention and start a conversation, such as specifically pointing to a decoration and mentioning something about it.
Going back to the moment at Buffalo Wild Wings, I asked her if my face is weird or something, as people seem to remember me quite well. She told me that it wasn't the case, but she just seem to remember it well. Well, I wanted to go with asking her if I was handsome or something that she seemed to remember me, but apparently a guy sitting on the right side of me seemed super drunk and seemed to be hitting on the bartender. I didn't want to start a problem, but wanted to practice conversation, so that's why I chose weird instead of handsome. But ironically it may have backfired on me, and I'm going to explain that later.
I ordered a few stuff, including Guiness. The bartender didn't check my ID. Usually, it is that they check my ID even though they know me. But this time, she didn't, and I commented on it. She told me not to tell anyone, and I told her that our secret is safe. After a while, food came, and shortly after I started eating, this guy sitting right side on me came to introduce himself to me. He came to tell me that I look like a movie star, and then he came to show me the Asian dude from Hangover movie. Well, it was somewhat racist, but I laughed it off, and played it cool, as the guy seemed somewhat drunk. And it has been a long time that I got a racist comment, or being made fun of. He even grabbed one of a waitress at the restaurant and asked the girl if I looked like the dude. The girl seemed rather uncomfortable and said that she wasn't so sure about that. (I feel bad for her as she was in a bad spot.) Shortly after, he left, and then his brother, who also happened to sit right side on me, came to apologize to me. He and I had a bit of conversation, and soon I found that the drunk guy was going through the aftermath of break up. The brother also told me that his brother also caused some problem at other places he took the guy out to. But he told me that he had to take the guy out as he was just stuck in his home for all the time. I told him that things started to make sense, and I told him that it's cool, and told him that it was rather refreshing as I have not gotten stuff like this for a long time. (During entire 10 years of studying abroad, I only got about 3~4 times of racist comment or being made fun of due to my race. And the last one was more then 5 years ago.) After that we exchanged handshake and name.
The funny thing was this. The brother came back, and after a while, this little brother went to washroom. He came to have another conversation. Nothing was offensive, nor it got anything bad. And the funny thing was that after a while, the little brother came back, and soon after, this older was asking me if I wanted to join them along as they were going to go somewhere else, probably a club. I told them that I gotta work (although I don't have a work, but rather school work to do, so not entirely a lie) that I can't join them. Besides, I wasn't sure if that would have been a good idea, as the guy was clearly drunk, and he was hitting on pretty much all the waitresses, and even some girls staying at the restaurant, which made his little brother busy with apologizing.
So playing cool rather seemed to have a great positive effect. The drunk guy probably wanted to do something as I was showing to have some high value. Or he wanted to lower my value by making some racist comment and by doing that he would increase his value around the waitress. But my playing cool rather seemed to have turned this dude to feel rather friendly and invite me along. Or perhaps he wanted to bring me along to make fun of me to raise his value. But in the end, I feel sad for him that he didn't have any other better way to go over the emotional baggage he needs to get rid of.
In a sense I feel somewhat alpha that I was able to play it along cool. Yet not so alpha or entirely alpha, as the incident made me feel rather uncomfortable maybe 10~15 minutes past.
And lastly, I am beginning to wonder if I should continue this program, or save it for some later time. There are several reasons for this. First, I will graduate in a year, and given the time to manifest, or even without time to manifest, I don't know if it would be a wise idea to meet my perfect lover during this time. Second, come to think of it now, I may have started the program out of neediness: wanting to experience sex, and more experience with girl. I wonder if this is healthy at all. Third, I also realize that by end of 2015, I will be forced to go back to my home country to fulfill my military conscription. Given this, I wonder if I should use AM6, instead of this sub. I plan on being a translating officer, as it has many more benefits over just conscription, and I think that alpha trait would be helpful to have, hence the reason for wondering.
Hopefully, I will be able to make a good decision on the use of the sub. And hopefully, I will get some input from people in the forum to make the right decision.
Again, the post has become super long, and I appreciate your reading it.
p.s. mentioning of neediness reminded me of another effect of the sub. It killed my neediness, and that it is almost non-existence. Perhaps this is one of the reasons for my wondering of switching the sub.
