05-10-2014, 10:22 AM
I still not really sure what this stage does with me, but I feel that it does something. At some points I feel a little confused. Sometimes I want to do something and at the same time I am thinking on the exact opposite. For example one day I just wanted to be alone. But at the same minute I was thinking about going out and socializing. Maybe some parts of me are fighting inside.
This week I felt more confident again than last week. Few day ago I was at a party. I noticed that some girls were looking at me in a way saying "Come over and talk with me". At least with two of them I am pretty sure they wanted me to come over. Unfortunately I didn't feel able to do this. I think it had much to do with the fact that they were in a group of about 7/8 people. If she were alone there I probably could do it. Since I come from a point of extremely shyness it's not really surprising I couldn't do it. But I hope it will be better in future stages. The fact I missed a given chance gave me some frustration that day. But it was still an important experience, because the first time in my life I got a real sense of what it means to have options with women. And it was a great experience!
The other things I noticed in the last few days are: I have more motivation again to get things done, I buy/eat more healthy food (at least more than before), listening subs don't make me as tired as it used to do. Last but not least I notice that the people who liked me because I was "so nice" starts to dislike me. On the one side it doesn't feel good, but I think it's a step in the right direction. At least if they were only for this one reason with me.
This week I felt more confident again than last week. Few day ago I was at a party. I noticed that some girls were looking at me in a way saying "Come over and talk with me". At least with two of them I am pretty sure they wanted me to come over. Unfortunately I didn't feel able to do this. I think it had much to do with the fact that they were in a group of about 7/8 people. If she were alone there I probably could do it. Since I come from a point of extremely shyness it's not really surprising I couldn't do it. But I hope it will be better in future stages. The fact I missed a given chance gave me some frustration that day. But it was still an important experience, because the first time in my life I got a real sense of what it means to have options with women. And it was a great experience!
The other things I noticed in the last few days are: I have more motivation again to get things done, I buy/eat more healthy food (at least more than before), listening subs don't make me as tired as it used to do. Last but not least I notice that the people who liked me because I was "so nice" starts to dislike me. On the one side it doesn't feel good, but I think it's a step in the right direction. At least if they were only for this one reason with me.
