01-01-2014, 04:23 PM
Day 20
Again, nothing going on much, since I was super-lazy today. Tomorrow I'll go out with my friends and have some fun. I'm curious to what BIATBW did to mr now that I'm 20 days in.
The most eventful thing that happened was that my ex refused to see me for a cup of coffee in town. Furthermore, she deleted me from her friends list, so that pretty much sums it up. Done deal. Kaputt, over.
I noticed that I'm far less affected by this than I'd imagined I'd be. Sure, I am affected, not to kid myself, but not feeling bad or anything. Before I started to write this journal, I felt somewhat nostalgic and vengeful ( not exactly *seeking* revenge, but more like she sees me with a hotter girl than her and bam...a "success is the best revenge" kinda thing ). At the end of the day, I have no reason to seek even the most subtle form of revenge, because I've done it to myself. I accept things as they are and just move on. I just know that she'll want me back when I don't, so that's that. I just wish her a happy life. We had a great time together.
Back to the sub. I noticed that I get emotional a lot and feel like crying. I'm not quite sure if it's the sub doing this, but I do feel emotionally connected to stuff or more emotionally appreciative of things, like a scene from a movie, a song or something like that. I don't feel sad or anything ( most of the time ) when that particular situation arises. Maybe it's my way of healing? Or cleansing? Not quite sure, anybody experienced something similar?
And a recent finding, I noticed I'm more creative when talking to girls and my words flow slightly different now and effortlessly, even though I was talking to a girl I'm not particularly interested in ( mostly because of her looks, but she's a quality girl on the inside ).
Well, that's all for now.
Again, nothing going on much, since I was super-lazy today. Tomorrow I'll go out with my friends and have some fun. I'm curious to what BIATBW did to mr now that I'm 20 days in.
The most eventful thing that happened was that my ex refused to see me for a cup of coffee in town. Furthermore, she deleted me from her friends list, so that pretty much sums it up. Done deal. Kaputt, over.
I noticed that I'm far less affected by this than I'd imagined I'd be. Sure, I am affected, not to kid myself, but not feeling bad or anything. Before I started to write this journal, I felt somewhat nostalgic and vengeful ( not exactly *seeking* revenge, but more like she sees me with a hotter girl than her and bam...a "success is the best revenge" kinda thing ). At the end of the day, I have no reason to seek even the most subtle form of revenge, because I've done it to myself. I accept things as they are and just move on. I just know that she'll want me back when I don't, so that's that. I just wish her a happy life. We had a great time together.
Back to the sub. I noticed that I get emotional a lot and feel like crying. I'm not quite sure if it's the sub doing this, but I do feel emotionally connected to stuff or more emotionally appreciative of things, like a scene from a movie, a song or something like that. I don't feel sad or anything ( most of the time ) when that particular situation arises. Maybe it's my way of healing? Or cleansing? Not quite sure, anybody experienced something similar?
And a recent finding, I noticed I'm more creative when talking to girls and my words flow slightly different now and effortlessly, even though I was talking to a girl I'm not particularly interested in ( mostly because of her looks, but she's a quality girl on the inside ).
Well, that's all for now.
What I can be, I must be!
