11-16-2013, 08:40 AM
STAGE 4 - DAY 4 - Sick & motivated
After I came home from the mini-cruise with my girl I became sick. Haven't been able to eat anything for 1 and a half weeks, so I decided to start from day 4 again of the stage and include OGSF.
The days before I became sick I've used much of my time with this girl and spent quite a lot of money.
It has been fun. Though I realize again and again that I'm the one who creates the fun, no matter with the money or not. The money definitely gives access to different possibilities of fun you could say.
... and she definitely liked me more for being able to create the fun.
I literally had a Titanic experience with my girl. We would run around the ship, fool around, dance with ourselves, dance amongst people, look out to the sea on the deck while holding each other on the edge. Screaming, "I'm the kiiing of the world". Painting her naked body.. just like in the movie! Only thing was.. we didn't sink. We couldn't find a way to sink the ship
Funny enough, few months before I was day-dreaming about how cool that would be and feel.
=============================================
In my sick period, I was in pain all the time. I hated everything and everyone and I just wanted to be let alone.
It was crazy how negative and aggressive I was. I became another person and I knew that, "this isn't me.. that was mean of me" was my thinking but my pain was my sole focus.
After the pain went over, today, I realize again how positive and good-feeling my natural state is.
This time though, I've been thinking about all the things I did with the girl and how much money I spent for fun, without even earning anything myself.
Not only that but I'm planning to re-take my courses since I'm a lot behind.
I know this is all my responsibility and I've been thinking a lot about this area of my life but never really took the decision to "just do it".
Mainly because I want to experience different stuff before I use my time and energy on stuff that is "using my youth" up. That's what my mind is thinking.
And partly because I've never had a "real" job.
So that's it for now.
You will probably not hear from me much the following days since I gotta
- build up my good habits again
- add some more successful habits
- revisit my BIG goals & set BIGGER goals
- live a life of taking FULL responsibility of it.
JL --> Contemlating on solid foundation
Out.
After I came home from the mini-cruise with my girl I became sick. Haven't been able to eat anything for 1 and a half weeks, so I decided to start from day 4 again of the stage and include OGSF.
The days before I became sick I've used much of my time with this girl and spent quite a lot of money.
It has been fun. Though I realize again and again that I'm the one who creates the fun, no matter with the money or not. The money definitely gives access to different possibilities of fun you could say.
... and she definitely liked me more for being able to create the fun.
I literally had a Titanic experience with my girl. We would run around the ship, fool around, dance with ourselves, dance amongst people, look out to the sea on the deck while holding each other on the edge. Screaming, "I'm the kiiing of the world". Painting her naked body.. just like in the movie! Only thing was.. we didn't sink. We couldn't find a way to sink the ship
Funny enough, few months before I was day-dreaming about how cool that would be and feel.
=============================================
In my sick period, I was in pain all the time. I hated everything and everyone and I just wanted to be let alone.
It was crazy how negative and aggressive I was. I became another person and I knew that, "this isn't me.. that was mean of me" was my thinking but my pain was my sole focus.
After the pain went over, today, I realize again how positive and good-feeling my natural state is.
This time though, I've been thinking about all the things I did with the girl and how much money I spent for fun, without even earning anything myself.
Not only that but I'm planning to re-take my courses since I'm a lot behind.
I know this is all my responsibility and I've been thinking a lot about this area of my life but never really took the decision to "just do it".
Mainly because I want to experience different stuff before I use my time and energy on stuff that is "using my youth" up. That's what my mind is thinking.
And partly because I've never had a "real" job.
So that's it for now.
You will probably not hear from me much the following days since I gotta
- build up my good habits again
- add some more successful habits
- revisit my BIG goals & set BIGGER goals
- live a life of taking FULL responsibility of it.
JL --> Contemlating on solid foundation
Out.
1. Do whatever you want.. risk whatever your gut tells you because.. you know you have good intentions.
2. Pressure forms the man.
3. Clarity gives space for better decisions.
