Well today was nice. I felt very indifferent and I felt also very alpha. I am also beginning to really see myself as a leader and a role model. It's a nice feeling because I am good at it... I just couldnt allow my full potential in the previous state I was in not long ago. Either way I can feel improvements and the social anxiety is starting to slowly clear up and I'm beginning to look at it in a fun way.. like "this could be fun (talking to you)". Thing is... I still feel inside of me my stomach has a tingling sensation and goes numb for a couple of seconds if I think about it and this can happen with more than one girl. I seem to not be as comfortable with a group of girls as I am with one girl probably because I may worry a little about what they say about me and also I'll have to make a choice between one at least if I want to give out a number or make out in the bathroom of whatever restaurant/bar.. you get my drift.
Today I went to taco bell for dinner and there were two girls that followed me in and I would rate one of them as an 8.5/10. She was pretty but there was something I was just not that attracted to about her. Either way, they walk in and get in line right behind me and I turn my head away from looking at the menu and I gaze into the sexy girl's eyes and smirked which turned into a friendly smile just for a couple of seconds then she looks away without a smile... and I dont think she looked down either. So my bitchdar went up and I said fuck that girl It's ok anyways. I won't lie though... I did kind of think about it and worry for about 5 seconds about what she was thinking about but that's retarted so I caught myself. I didn't look at her again until 5 minutes later.. I gave her one last look for 5 seconds and she didn't look at me once. So It was fine.. I finished my meal and left with a smile on my face.
Also I have no desire to masterbate anymore... I wouldn't say 0 desire but it's pretty close. This has happened to me before if I just stop doing it but in this case the last time I did it was over the weekend but now I dont have a desire to. Correction... I did about 10 minutes ago but you wouldn't believe how fast the urge went away.
This is a damn good sign. My indifference is rising yet I still somehow know I can get any girl I want... this will all come once the confidence solidifies and I start making quick decisions on how I decide to take interactions further with certain girls.
Today I went to taco bell for dinner and there were two girls that followed me in and I would rate one of them as an 8.5/10. She was pretty but there was something I was just not that attracted to about her. Either way, they walk in and get in line right behind me and I turn my head away from looking at the menu and I gaze into the sexy girl's eyes and smirked which turned into a friendly smile just for a couple of seconds then she looks away without a smile... and I dont think she looked down either. So my bitchdar went up and I said fuck that girl It's ok anyways. I won't lie though... I did kind of think about it and worry for about 5 seconds about what she was thinking about but that's retarted so I caught myself. I didn't look at her again until 5 minutes later.. I gave her one last look for 5 seconds and she didn't look at me once. So It was fine.. I finished my meal and left with a smile on my face.
Also I have no desire to masterbate anymore... I wouldn't say 0 desire but it's pretty close. This has happened to me before if I just stop doing it but in this case the last time I did it was over the weekend but now I dont have a desire to. Correction... I did about 10 minutes ago but you wouldn't believe how fast the urge went away.
This is a damn good sign. My indifference is rising yet I still somehow know I can get any girl I want... this will all come once the confidence solidifies and I start making quick decisions on how I decide to take interactions further with certain girls.
