SM 2.0

[Shannon]

I'm through stage 1 and I feel terrible emotionally, just in the darkness and its starting to scare me a little. Basically, I feel like a low life scum bag that doesn't deserve sh*t and isn't worth a squirt of piss. I really, really hope this doesn't persist.

A little background about myself; I'm a 34 yr old engineer, never loved, never been loved (and not a virgin). I found my way here after reading The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, and realized that I wanted to bolster and embrace my masculinity and sexuality, as it was described in that text. I was raised in a Christian household, and went to private Catholic schools, which is not conducive of helping boys become men. As fate would have it, I believe in evolution, and I realize that my upbringing was full of bullsh*t. So, long story short, I've commandeered the ship and am now in control, so to speak.

Subs I have used thus far have been Extreme Self Esteem (had little impact), Alpha Male 5.0 (had tremendous impact), Absolute Self Confidence (50 days had little if any impact), and now through stage 1 of SM 2.0 (I'm F'd up)!

Can any other SM 2.0 users give me any insight into their experiences?

Just because you have taken conscious control does not mean you've finished comandeering the subconscious part yet. It's very likely that your negative response is your subconscious fighting the new programming. It's likely based in guilt, fear and shame. Depression is usually either an emotional traumatic response or a sublimated frustration or anger that cannot be dealt with outwardly, or any other way, for some reason. It is possible that the program is forcing a part of you to deal with fears that you have been long held back by, which makes that part of you feel afraid and hopeless, at the same time. It will eventually be outweighed by the new programming, which will make things much easier.