09-08-2013, 08:56 AM
Day 10 of stage 4: After spending the whole day in my apartment, I decided to go out to the salsa club with my friends last night. Didn't really feel like I wanted to go but I missed salsa class all week due to a bunch of stuff coming up. Felt like I wanted to at least get out there and practice and honestly, I felt a little rusty after just a week off.
The night went amazingly well. I was out there dancing and my focus was on just having fun. If I messed up a move or the girl ran into somebody else dancing, I was going to not focus on that. During the night I had a huge revelation. I could see that most of the guys dancing there were focused on impressing the girl that they were dancing with. It felt as if they thought that by impressing the girl with their dance moves, they had a better chance of getting the girl to like them. I, on the other hand, was focused on having fun and it was contagious. Even though there were much better dancers with much smoother moves, I seemed to get the attention. Logically, I couldn't figure it out. It was the fact that I didn't care what they thought that drew them to me.
I had girls surrounding me and asking me to dance all night. One girl who was a friend of a friend danced with me a few times. She didn't speak very good english and didn't really know how to dance salsa very well, but, she danced with me during a night-club type of song and the next thing I know, she is grinding on me. It was one of those moments where I was thinking, is this really happening to me? :angel:
I was watching this video yesterday (warning: nearly two hours long): video and one of the points that really stood out to me was that the neediness for women is peeled of like layers of an onion. It resonated with me because I feel like that was the process that I went through yesterday. Its like I need that process of having the attachment and then having it break to realize that I didn't need to have the attachment in the first place.
Last night I did leave an opportunity on the table. I left the salsa club with a girl and we have been friends for a while now. We take the same class and have many mutual friends. I could have made a move but my issue is that I am still learning how to be a man and learning how to treat women in the process. If I'm going to make a mistake, I would rather not make the mistake with someone in my social circle. I felt bad about it last night but feel much better about my decision today.
The night went amazingly well. I was out there dancing and my focus was on just having fun. If I messed up a move or the girl ran into somebody else dancing, I was going to not focus on that. During the night I had a huge revelation. I could see that most of the guys dancing there were focused on impressing the girl that they were dancing with. It felt as if they thought that by impressing the girl with their dance moves, they had a better chance of getting the girl to like them. I, on the other hand, was focused on having fun and it was contagious. Even though there were much better dancers with much smoother moves, I seemed to get the attention. Logically, I couldn't figure it out. It was the fact that I didn't care what they thought that drew them to me.
I had girls surrounding me and asking me to dance all night. One girl who was a friend of a friend danced with me a few times. She didn't speak very good english and didn't really know how to dance salsa very well, but, she danced with me during a night-club type of song and the next thing I know, she is grinding on me. It was one of those moments where I was thinking, is this really happening to me? :angel:
I was watching this video yesterday (warning: nearly two hours long): video and one of the points that really stood out to me was that the neediness for women is peeled of like layers of an onion. It resonated with me because I feel like that was the process that I went through yesterday. Its like I need that process of having the attachment and then having it break to realize that I didn't need to have the attachment in the first place.
Last night I did leave an opportunity on the table. I left the salsa club with a girl and we have been friends for a while now. We take the same class and have many mutual friends. I could have made a move but my issue is that I am still learning how to be a man and learning how to treat women in the process. If I'm going to make a mistake, I would rather not make the mistake with someone in my social circle. I felt bad about it last night but feel much better about my decision today.
