08-06-2013, 07:13 AM
(This post was last modified: 08-06-2013, 07:18 AM by LionMonkey.)
Stage 1 - Day 25 - Back to clubbing
Yesterday, after some struggle through empty bars and finding the right street, I went to clubbing which I haven't been for several months. Since my friend was leaving tonight, yesterday was our last night.
My friend was able to approach a lot despite the fact that he hasn't been doing any sort of night-game for two weeks. Me on the other hand had a hard time.. mostly in the beginning.
I have identified two contradicting beliefs (that I have created by my former and recent experiences with people) which makes it hard to do what's necessary in the night. I'm talking about solid intent here.
- I treat others as I want to be treated myself
vs.
- I have to go in strong to get a girl out of her autopilot
The club was a high-end club with lots of Chinese girls and one big group of western MODELS of guys and girls!
I approached several of them in different locations and venues.
They were either as tall as me or taller and almost all of them were rude.
I called it out on them and left. Approaching hot girls, who doesn't seem like having fun, and with bitch-shields on like that is hard when they are the first ones you cold-approach.. and my contradicting beliefs did not help either.
My approaches were solid with good body-language. I stood my ground but my mistake was that I cared about her ignorant reaction (and a bit too far proximity between us). I shall instead think 'how can I make this fun for me?'
What they mostly did was looking at me, then looked away under 5 seconds of me starting to talk.
I noticed two of them looking back after I had left.
The thing is.. I get their world. I was just too weak in the moment to communicate that. And also just too weak to communicate the dominance that was needed for these kind of girls in these kinds of situations.
My friend was too one-sided with the girls he approached and almost all of them tried to escape him. He was really aggressive and pretty persisting but he don't have a solid foundation in what he did. His weakness was that he had no empathy in his approach but his strength was that his personality was more on display while for me on the other hand was too little on display.
(when I begin to judge girls from their looks, it just gets me out of the moment and I actively let my thinking pass by creating my own party 'motion creates emotion' BUT without including anyone because I'm caring about not to be reaction seeking, so I'm just having fun by myself) what a mindfuck! hmm it's not 100% freedom and my guess is that people feel that so they are not as willing to freely join...
The chinese girls on the other hand was much more open though they weren't very hot. We had much fun with few of them.
There was this group of 6 short Chinese girls that I had exchanged eye-contact with before and they seemed open.
In the end of the night around 4AM, my friend began to dance retarded with one of them and it went ok. At that moment I was thinking that because of my value-judgment of physical beauty, my interactions didn't went very well, so I decided to just have fun with the less attractive ones. They also seemed much more fun.
Three of the girls went somewhere, so it was my friend dancing with the one from the beginning and two others sitting at the table.
I went to sit beside of one with short pink hair and commented on it but she didn't speak english, so I had to use my dictionary to find the right word to use with my OK Chinese.
After I commented her, she responded positively but immediately turned to speak to her friend and talked about something. Then within 30-60 seconds after they left. I kept sitting there by myself and after 3-5 minutes the two girls came back with the three others.
I stood up and walked away but the pink haired girl came to me and said that it's okay I sit there but for some reason, I felt something was wrong with the situation. Probably because I don't like it if I can't speak with a girl because of language barriers.
Especially in nightclubs.
That's just me telling myself that I have to change my view on that and be more creative.
Well.. my friend took the seat instead and one of the very sexually open girls made out with him after 10 seconds. A bit later the three girls left again.
Later I saw that the girls were with a group of guys on the other end of the bar...
Girls always have an agenda in what they do!
Today I felt very carefree after the uncomfortable situations I put myself through from yesterday.
I noticed that I gave a less of a f*** if I smiled to people or not. Also I felt I was more real and vulnerable than what I've been feeling lately, which was "I'm good.. actually too good for you"
A good reminder to expose myself to (uncomfortable) social situations in order to get more badass...
Yesterday, after some struggle through empty bars and finding the right street, I went to clubbing which I haven't been for several months. Since my friend was leaving tonight, yesterday was our last night.
My friend was able to approach a lot despite the fact that he hasn't been doing any sort of night-game for two weeks. Me on the other hand had a hard time.. mostly in the beginning.
I have identified two contradicting beliefs (that I have created by my former and recent experiences with people) which makes it hard to do what's necessary in the night. I'm talking about solid intent here.
- I treat others as I want to be treated myself
vs.
- I have to go in strong to get a girl out of her autopilot
The club was a high-end club with lots of Chinese girls and one big group of western MODELS of guys and girls!
I approached several of them in different locations and venues.
They were either as tall as me or taller and almost all of them were rude.
I called it out on them and left. Approaching hot girls, who doesn't seem like having fun, and with bitch-shields on like that is hard when they are the first ones you cold-approach.. and my contradicting beliefs did not help either.
My approaches were solid with good body-language. I stood my ground but my mistake was that I cared about her ignorant reaction (and a bit too far proximity between us). I shall instead think 'how can I make this fun for me?'
What they mostly did was looking at me, then looked away under 5 seconds of me starting to talk.
I noticed two of them looking back after I had left.
The thing is.. I get their world. I was just too weak in the moment to communicate that. And also just too weak to communicate the dominance that was needed for these kind of girls in these kinds of situations.
My friend was too one-sided with the girls he approached and almost all of them tried to escape him. He was really aggressive and pretty persisting but he don't have a solid foundation in what he did. His weakness was that he had no empathy in his approach but his strength was that his personality was more on display while for me on the other hand was too little on display.
(when I begin to judge girls from their looks, it just gets me out of the moment and I actively let my thinking pass by creating my own party 'motion creates emotion' BUT without including anyone because I'm caring about not to be reaction seeking, so I'm just having fun by myself) what a mindfuck! hmm it's not 100% freedom and my guess is that people feel that so they are not as willing to freely join...
The chinese girls on the other hand was much more open though they weren't very hot. We had much fun with few of them.
There was this group of 6 short Chinese girls that I had exchanged eye-contact with before and they seemed open.
In the end of the night around 4AM, my friend began to dance retarded with one of them and it went ok. At that moment I was thinking that because of my value-judgment of physical beauty, my interactions didn't went very well, so I decided to just have fun with the less attractive ones. They also seemed much more fun.
Three of the girls went somewhere, so it was my friend dancing with the one from the beginning and two others sitting at the table.
I went to sit beside of one with short pink hair and commented on it but she didn't speak english, so I had to use my dictionary to find the right word to use with my OK Chinese.
After I commented her, she responded positively but immediately turned to speak to her friend and talked about something. Then within 30-60 seconds after they left. I kept sitting there by myself and after 3-5 minutes the two girls came back with the three others.
I stood up and walked away but the pink haired girl came to me and said that it's okay I sit there but for some reason, I felt something was wrong with the situation. Probably because I don't like it if I can't speak with a girl because of language barriers.
Especially in nightclubs.
That's just me telling myself that I have to change my view on that and be more creative.
Well.. my friend took the seat instead and one of the very sexually open girls made out with him after 10 seconds. A bit later the three girls left again.
Later I saw that the girls were with a group of guys on the other end of the bar...
Girls always have an agenda in what they do!
Today I felt very carefree after the uncomfortable situations I put myself through from yesterday.
I noticed that I gave a less of a f*** if I smiled to people or not. Also I felt I was more real and vulnerable than what I've been feeling lately, which was "I'm good.. actually too good for you"
A good reminder to expose myself to (uncomfortable) social situations in order to get more badass...
1. Do whatever you want.. risk whatever your gut tells you because.. you know you have good intentions.
2. Pressure forms the man.
3. Clarity gives space for better decisions.
