09-03-2010, 06:25 PM
Well, I finally got off my ass and went out tonight. for like an hour and a half including the drive lol. I was going to this Christian's singles dance that started at 9. I made it there at about 9:10 and the parking lot had 5 cars in it. I said fuck this I'm going to go to a bar and chill for an hour and come back. I went to a nearby bar at this mexican restaurant and the bartender was absolutely gorgeous. Must have been Asian and Latino and she was exactly what I wrote down on my Ideal woman list. She was very confident and seemed happy because when I began talking to her she would smile and giggle. I was being somewhat social but I had to not have been in congruency because she wouldn't stick around long. I held great eye contact with her and she was enjoying it but then she must have sensed something was off about me because she wouldn't talk much even if I was gently gazing into her eyes. I was also acting aloof to her but there was about 10% of me feeling needy and I guess she sensed it. Also there was some social anxiety because I was thinking about when I should start talking to her and I had plenty of chances. I've had a couple of days where I've had no social anxiety but it's been for short periods of time. I know though when stage 2 is done and over with I know my social anxiety will be completely cured. Either way I know I made her day a little better and I felt pretty good too. I'm actually more proud of myself actually going out and being alone at that. Anyways after I left there I went to drive by the building they were having the singles dance and there were the exact same cars in the parking lot. I was dissappointed to tell you the truth. Now I need to make a list of good places to go meet women here in my town. And I'm trying to keep bars off that list.
