Thanks Ronatello, I've been using that as my written affirmation now since I still feel that sometimes I don't deserve such things. It's not prominant anymore but I'm sure in about a month I'll have this fully integrated.
As for today.. I seemed very reserved but when spoken to I made conversation quite easily and I was more smiley today. I would also subconciously stop paying attention to something If I had no interest in it (conversation wise). But I also had the ability to pick up on conversations and figure out what people were talking about next or still talking about if I was already in the conversation earlier. I would just come out with something funny. I had myself laughing quite hard today and a few others during these times. It seems that I'm going up on this fluctuation now and I should expect the next several days to be real good. I bet by the time I leave for my trip I'll be down in the dumps again but that's ok haha
Also, my eye contact is getting very hot. I mean that I'm starting to master this soft gaze thing. Now with strangers it's a different story because I catch myself soft gazing all the time and my confidence levels there are still around 60% which before they were probably at 10%. I actually feel my energy flowing out of me into the other person. It's something I can really feel and I've never experienced anything like this my whole life up until these last couple of months. So the eye contact with strangers seems to be worse than before... I'll hold it alot and sometimes wont but when I hold it I'll still question myself. It's not like this with people I already know. My eye contact is just intense now.
As for today.. I seemed very reserved but when spoken to I made conversation quite easily and I was more smiley today. I would also subconciously stop paying attention to something If I had no interest in it (conversation wise). But I also had the ability to pick up on conversations and figure out what people were talking about next or still talking about if I was already in the conversation earlier. I would just come out with something funny. I had myself laughing quite hard today and a few others during these times. It seems that I'm going up on this fluctuation now and I should expect the next several days to be real good. I bet by the time I leave for my trip I'll be down in the dumps again but that's ok haha
Also, my eye contact is getting very hot. I mean that I'm starting to master this soft gaze thing. Now with strangers it's a different story because I catch myself soft gazing all the time and my confidence levels there are still around 60% which before they were probably at 10%. I actually feel my energy flowing out of me into the other person. It's something I can really feel and I've never experienced anything like this my whole life up until these last couple of months. So the eye contact with strangers seems to be worse than before... I'll hold it alot and sometimes wont but when I hold it I'll still question myself. It's not like this with people I already know. My eye contact is just intense now.
