Do you consistantly approach Women?

[Shannon]

Personally, I think your approach is bad. I would never walk up to a woman and tell her I think she's beautiful and that I want to get to know her better. I would say you're being too forward and trying too hard.

Stop thinking of women as "them". Do you have trouble making friends with guys? Talking to guys? Starting conversations with, joking around with, hanging out with guys? If you don't have trouble with these things with guys, you shouldn't have them concerning women, either. Male or female, people are people.

From my experience, what your approach is saying to a woman is, "Hi, I'm inexperienced and awkward concerning women, and I'm too interested, and you should immediately conclude that I'm not for you." It's because your approach is not smooth, does not flow, and is not comfortable socially.

She is just a woman. She is just a person. She is just a human. There is nothing about her that makes her special... she's just like you, only she's of the opposite gender. When you let go of your desperation, you won't be expressing it anymore, and she won't be sensing it anymore, and when that happens, you'll be free to treat her just like you would treat anyone else.

In fact a lot of the "naturals" I know advise that you should treat a woman you're interested in like your little sister.

When I become aware of a woman I notice as being of interest, the first thing I do is the same thing she does concerning me. Can you guess what that is? It sure as hell isn't to walk over and tell me she thinks I'm handsome, and that she wants to get to know me better. What a woman always does first is observe. She'll look you over and make a series of key judgements about you within the first few seconds she is aware of you. Those judgements lead her to accept or reject your advances.

So I observe her. I observe what her physical features are, I observe what her body language is telling me, I observe what her sense of self valuation is, I observe any indications of taken-ness... and I determine whether she is worth my time to proceed with.

If I do not see any obvious reasons not to continue, I then start determining how to proceed with this particular female. Body type will reveal a lot about that, if you can read it, as will face reading, voice reading and more body language reading. Also consider the circumstances.

My style isn't to approach, but to enjoy the company of. Where I live, single women are apparently mythically rare... so I assume she's involved, and just enjoy talking with her. No expectations, no pressure, just having fun talking.

Kill that expectation and neediness, and it just flows. But I also don't have any particular worries about having anything to say. Sometimes I just sit there and eat. Sometimes I talk. Usually I will make a comment that amuses me, and perhaps amuses her also. But I never presume she is available, interested or that she wants me to do anything more than talk conversationally.

This lack of pressure makes it much easier to relax and enjoy her company, and in most cases, for her to enjoy yours as well. From there, you can take it further, but don't try to meet women where you don't have plenty of time to do so. That just creates awkward situations.

I typically spend some time observing a woman over a few encounters before I will say anything. That gives me time to consider all the face/body type/voice reading and her attitude. Determine how to proceed. Lets her observe me and conclude I am not a freak. Allows us to get used to eachother. Obviously, I'm no pickup artist. Not everyone will be happy with my style. And there are times when I make a move right away. When I see a woman who stuns me, and I know I have a very short amount of time to make a move, I do what it takes.

The key, though, is to be normal and natural. She gets approached a hundred times a day. Men stare at her lustfully all day every day. Be comfortable for her to be around, enjoyable if you can. Let her conclude you're not a threat, or a freak, and that you're worth getting to know in return.

Don't shake her hand. That is too formal and distancing if you're trying to establish a rapid connection. Shaking her hand is a good way to indicate disinterest. Don't compliment her. Don't tell her she's beautiful. Don't come out with that you'd like to get to know her better before you've talked for a little while at least. Let her make a first impression of you that doesn't say "desperate", "freak" or "run". Then proceed.

Learn body language, and use it. She will tell you everything you need to know with it.

Learn to read body types, faces, voices.

Find something interesting to do as a hobby that you can talk about, that will interest her. Key words: interest her.

Then, go where the type of women you want to meet go. And talk to them. You don't necessarily have to be very direct in your approach. You don't even always have to approach. In fact the less it seems to her that you are "approaching her" in that way, the better. A casual comment about the book she's looking at in the book store... a comment about her hair (again, not a compliment)... some feature she has (not tits, ass, or anything you know other guys will have commented on six billion times already) that intrigues you in some way.

Be original. Make eye contact. Smile. Introduce yourself confidently. DON'T shake her hand. That should give you enough to get started with.