Smoking sub-take 3-HST-take 1

[Shannon]

I think I’m on a different level than others that have used your program. I believe myself to be more with the group of people that we’ve both encountered whom don’t wish to stop, really. What I have seen in most of my experience of successful quit smokers, is it’s usually the first try. Those of us that struggle have made it more of a trial and error type of situation, with the failures writing our history as well as much of our future. It would be interesting for me to know of the quitters you mentioned, how many times they’ve tried to quit, how much they’ve smoked and for how long. I think it all makes a difference and may possibly be why it’s harder for one person more than another. Another point, is that it’s been with me for every single emotion that I’ve encountered. It’s similar to being married for a very long time and then not. There’s an incompleteness that I feel.

I would not say "on a different level". I would say "with a different point of view". The only differences between your type and the other type are that you are resistant to change, and you have associated smoking with somehow being whole, complete, safe, good enough, etc. In other words, at the deepest level, you have more fear than the average smoker, and you associate smoking with relief in some way.

These others did not stop their first time. Using my program was not the first time any of them tried to quit smoking, to the best of my knowledge and recollection. I will try to get some of them to post here for you. But you know my mother spent 20+ years trying to quit. I believe that at the least, every one of the successful users had tried to quit at least twice before using my program.

I think the hardest part is the psychological part. I compare it to being an alcoholic. They never stop being an alcoholic, they just don’t drink. I may always be a smoker, that just doesn’t smoke.

Having two "alcoholics" in my family, having observed many more in long term settings, and having had the feedback I have had from people using my Stop Drinking Alcohol program, I can tell you that I firmly believe that "alcoholism" is not a disease. It is a response to fear or stress, given by certain personality types and levels of personal maturity, which can be mitigated by either facing or overcoming that fear or stress and growing past the response of turning to alcohol. I believe, after all I have seen, that "alcoholism" is no different than smoking. It can be overcome, and permanently. It does not mean that person is always an alcoholic. It means they have subconscious programming that results in a cycle of actions which is called alcoholism, and that programming can be changed.

My mother was an active alcoholic for decades, and when I was 11 she attended her first AA meeting. That was the last time she ever drank alcohol in excess, but not the last time she ever drank alcohol. She did have some of my home brew beer once, about 20 years later, to taste it. Now, according to conventional wisdom, that would have resulted in her drinking the rest of the glass and then going into my room and pouring herself another and another until she was passed out again. She did not. The difference? Through AA, she acknowledged her issue, and then faced her fears and overcame them. From then on, she neither had nor wanted alcohol anymore. Even after I grew up and moved away. Even when she had wine in the house for cooking - and not all of it was salted wine, either. (By the way, she was attending AA meetings for I believe 5 years after quitting, and then she stopped and never went back. As she was no longer an alcoholic, it was unnecessary for her.)

She is not the only "alcoholic" I ever saw do that. I have had reports of people doing the same thing in response to my subliminal. And the difference between these people and the poor slobs who would come into the AA meetings with head hung low in shame and say they "fell off the wagon" week after week? The "poor slobs" were stuck in a cycle of fear and escapism. It was easier to stay drunk than to face the responsibilities of the sober world that scared them so much.

AA saved my mother's life, and as a result, probably saved my life as well, but they are not without their faults. Their MO is to week after week perpetuate the belief that "I am an alcoholic". And what makes an alcoholic an alcoholic? Drinking too much alcohol, of course! So in essence, out of simple ignorance, AA is unintentionally perpetuating alcoholism in at least some of these people by programming into their heads that they are alcoholics and they always will be. Well, a literal subconscious is going to say, "Oh, I'm alcoholic and always will be? Okay, let's fulfill this role then. Where's the rum?"

I think it's flat out bullshit to say that alcoholism is a disease, because that's an excuse and a cop out. It's also bullshit to say "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic", because drinking alcohol is a choice. It might sometimes be a subconscious choice... but it's always a choice, and one that can be changed if the "alcoholic" decides they are in enough pain, have done enough damage, cares enough about themselves or others, decides to grow up and face their fears and stresses, or any of a number of other situations.

If alcoholism was a disease that could not be escaped, it would not be possible to overcome it.

The same is true of smoking. It is the faulty beliefs of society at large concerning these things that makes them what they appear to be.

There is no such thing as an alcoholic who does not drink alcohol, and there is no such thing as a smoker who does not smoke cigarettes. If you have not outgrown the weakness that results in turning to alcohol as your coping mechanism to stress and fear, you are an alcoholic. The minute you have outgrown it, you are not an alcoholic, because at that point, you will never have an alcoholic response again.

The same is true of cigarettes. A smoker thinks they need to smoke. A smoker thinks they want to smoke. A smoker is willing to smoke. But no non-smoker thinks any of these things are true. And to truly be free of cigarettes, you must break the physical addiction AND the psychological issue, which is "I identify as a smoker. I believe I need and want to smoke. I believe it has to be difficult to quit smoking. I am afraid to be a non-smoker."

Once you become a non-smoker - and you will - you will no longer believe you need to smoke, or believe you want to smoke, and you will look back and wonder... "Why did I make it so unnecessarily hard to quit?" Mark my words.

I don’t want you think I’m struggling to the point of giving in yet, because I’m not. My acknowledged fear at this point, is that what I feel, feels very familiar. It just feels like I’m taking a break. I think that was something I told myself to get through other times that I had stopped. I think the program at this point is giving me the will power to choose not to smoke. Right now, because of the deep sadness of my situation with my daughter, it’s a little harder than it has been. But it’s probably the first really sad time I’ve experienced since I stopped smoking. My guess is these feelings may come up whenever an old/new emotion comes into play.

This is an attempt by your subconscious to sabotage your current success in having stopped smoking my saying, "Okay, I can't stop from quitting, this program has done that... but we can always just say we're taking a break, and keep going later."

Look at yourself. You have stopped smoking. You ave been without a cigarette for how long? And through a stressful and difficult situation emotionally? The ONLY thing holding you back now is the fear of letting go and accepting yourself as a non-smoker.

I feel that I’m about 75% rid of my need to smoke, but only half way through the program. I still have 3 stages, and that’s a lot of stages. My other hope is that, like the other subs I’ve used, this one will ruminate more and more in my subconscious after I stop using it. I may just be the type of person who will need to listen to stage 7 every six months or so, who knows? I hope not and I will be using the fear sub in the future, so that may help with this cause also.

Telling that you say you feel that you are 75% rid of your need to smoke. Look at the revelations within that sentence.

First, you FEEL it, which means it is coming from your emotions, not your mind, where logic resides. You don't "know" it, you "feel" it. You have given yourself away as having a strong emotional component to your personality by saying that, which fits your reason for resisting - fear. An irrational emotion.

Second, you referred to it as "my need to smoke". Only smokers believe they need to smoke. Do I need to smoke, or believe that I do? Not in the slightest. I am a non-smoker. So this says you still believe the lie that you need to smoke, even though you are long past your actual addiction to nicotine. In other words, you are only running on fear based brainwashing now.

You don't need to smoke. Nobody needs to smoke. If that were true, you'd be born with a cigarette for an organ, don't you think? You need to breathe. You need to eat. You need to dress warmly in the winter. You need to drink enough water. Needs are the things that keep you alive. If it doesn't keep you alive, it's not a need, no matter how much capitalism and advertising might have you believing otherwise.

So let's re-phrase this properly, shall we? You have a part of you (not all of you) that wants to smoke because it is irrationally afraid not to. And so far, about 75% of the desire to smoke has been removed. There we go, much better. Much more accurate.

If we can make this program do it's job fully, experience says that you will never need Stage 7.

And you’re right, quitting smoking isn’t hard. It’s dealing with the thoughts about it, that for me, never seem to go away, that is what's hard.

Breaking the physical addiction isn't hard. What's hard is letting go of fears which perpetuate the belief that smoking is somehow normal, necessary, beneficial and desirable. And you know what? As with any fear... the fear that drives smoking is exactly as hard to destroy as you make it. Which is why most people have an effortless time quitting with my program and Patti struggles. Because Patti is afraid to be unafraid. Fear is Patti's "devil she knows".