Smoking sub-take 3-HST-take 1

[Patti]

So I’ve had a new fear making itself known recently. What I feel at this point in the program, is that I haven’t smoked but could pick up a cigarette at any time. This feeling has been annoying me as I feel that at this point in the program, I should be feeling a stronger feeling to not smoke. This isn’t anything new for me. In fact, what I’m doing now feels more common than not. I used to take breaks all the time, probably 8 to 10 times in my smoking history, anywhere from 1 month to 1 year. My calm or resolve has always come from the fact that it was only a break. This feels very much like that. But of course I’m hoping that when I’m done with the whole program, the feeling to not smoke will be the strongest one I have.

I had a blurp on my part. I’m listening to stage 3 (again). I was really struggling the last stage which I thought was stage 3. I was so excited to move to stage 4, but what I realized when I went to do that is that I must have inadvertently put on stage 4 which was playing on my ipod in my bedroom and at the same time, I was listening to stage 3 on my laptop in the family room area. I thought it was just the stage that had me so discombobbled but I now think it was listening to two different stages at one time. So I decided to listen to stage 3 again. Things seem a little easier this time around.

I haven’t been getting too much listening time this week as I bought my daughter and grandson to Disney. I didn’t even pack my ihome so I’ve only been listening on my laptop when I’m at the condo, which I’m not much I’ve been getting tons of exercise though, I think we’ve walked about 100 miles lol. I have noticed that the quit smoking commercials in Florida are pretty intense. New Jersey needs more of these types!

Well that’s all for now….off to Animal Kingdom.