SD 5.11

[Magnus]

Thanks Shannon there was definitely an unhealthy dynamic going on and both me and her had parts to play in it but on the plus side it has really shone a light into what I still need to heal and also I've learnt a lot through this experience.

There has been some tough emotions and realizations coming up lately. I'm starting to fully grasp the impact of the neglect I faced when I was growing up and the complete lack of so many fundamental aspects of raising a child. If you had talked to me a few years back I would I faced no childhood trauma but now I realize that neglect is trauma and the massive impact it has on all aspects of self.

I have been listening to a book called the emotionally absent mother and I don't know if this program lead me to it or if it's just a coincidence but I have never read a book that speaks to more than this. It's a very painful and slow read because it is brining up so much of what I lacked but these fundamental elements are essential for a large chunk of the goals on SD 5.11 so it seems very timely.

Interestingly EPRHA didn't bring a lot of this up while I was listening to it but I know I will definitely be going back to EPRHA once I've finished this as I now realize how much healing I have left to go. I also suspect after that I will want to do OGSF as I can see now the part that shame plays for me and it's a lot bigger than I thought. So far this program seems to really be shining a light into a lot of different areas