Ultra Success 5.11G - The Secret of My Success

[Shannon]

It is also possible that that was your subconscious response to what it was trying to accomplish.

Possible, but the fact is that I'm extremely lazy at the core. Anxiety has been a huge motivating force throughout my life, extending back to childhood. Where I've excelled,  it has been because I feared failure. Of course,  there's oppositional anxiety,  which tended to prevent me me from going outside my comfort zone. To a large degree,  Maverick handled both of those. 

The obvious positive is that many of the anxiety chains that held me in place have been broken. The obvious negative is that there's no motivating force other than conscious willpower. The latter is why I'll probably never run another OF or EHPRA program again. 

In my experience,  Maverick could be appropriately named something like "As You Are." It's less sexy than "Maverick", but it's what I experienced. That's not to say that there's anything wrong with Maverick as a sub. It does what it does and it does it well. You warned from the very beginning that a person should be at a certain place before running it. If you're a spitfire,  there's no telling how far Maverick  can take you.  If you're lazy (like me) it's probably not the best sub to run.

With all that being said, I got bored with Maverick, so there's no doubt that that affected execution, particularly toward the end. 

After a good AM7 run and possibly a good UMSvNext run, I might run Maverick again. I have a feeling that alternating these three could be effective at leveraging their strengths against one another.

I'd like to point out some things for you to contemplate here.

You say you are extremely lazy at the core.  You state that if you are lazy, and the motivational fears are removed, then there is no motivating force other than conscious willpower.  I would like you to look at this more deeply.  What you're seeing here is the surface level.  If one's "natural" state is low energy (what you're calling lazy, which is simply an expression of a choice of how to respond to a comfortable state of being within that low energy default), then does it not seem reasonable to conclude that the state of activity is just as much a choice with as without the anxiety (discomfort) motivating you?  This, perhaps, you would be referring to as "conscious willpower".  Which shows that we have a conscious perspective here and a subconscious perspective.  They have different points of view and different approaches and decisions and perceptions and choices and results.  

But ultimately, what is the difference between "low energy" and "lazy"?  Have you considered the definition of lazy?  Are you looking at the difference in speed of accomplishment?  What makes "low energy" lazy?  What makes lazy bad?  What makes high energy or more active good? 

I'm not saying that being lazy or active is good or bad, I'm asking you to consider the roots of your perception to better understand the value you therefore place on the result.

I'd also like you to consider that motivation comes from a variety of sources, and it is not that you have only conscious motivation efforts left, but that you have not yet discovered any other motivators.  You've lived how long with fear as your sole motivator?  Do you think you're going to find other motivators like a light switch has been flipped?

Especially if your natural state is low energy, this process may take time.  I find it interesting that you say you had subconscious boredom as a reason to quit using Maverick, but at the same time you call yourself lazy.  Lazy means that you want to do the least amount of action and effort possible, and taken to it's logical extreme, that means no action and no change where that is possible.  But isn't that also boring?  Maybe boredom is a motivator you haven't considered?  So my question is...

Are you motivated by boredom?  And if so, then what triggers within you the reverse of boredom (excitement), and wouldn't that make a wonderful motivator?

For me, curiosity is a primary motivator in life.  I love to learn, discover, expand my awareness, and solve challenges with my efforts and understanding, in large part to expand my knowledge and understanding.  What excites you?  That is going to be a primary motivator from a positive perspective, unlike the negative motivator in fear and pain.