I think that Maverick's insights are continuing, and I'm still having these thoughts. Here's one.
Be wary of words that I will refer to as "Infinity Variables". These are pretty-sounding, flowering words like:
* Love
* Trust
* Duty
* Security/Stability
* Friendship
* Sacrifice
* Teamwork
* Equality
* Masculinity
These things are real and do mean something. Classical philosophers have opined about these themes for centuries. The issue is that they are constantly redefined and reframed into a set of actions which benefit someone else at your expense.
They quickly become bottomless pits of time and energy, as you're trying to conform to some third-party's description of it.
The reason I've called them "variables" is due to mathematics; if two sides are not adding up, just plop down one of these badboys to make things appear equal. They fit the purpose they serve. "Ad hoc", if you will.
Suppose that I were considering marriage, and conducting a sober analysis of the realistic costs.
I could provide someone a statistic that I have a 50:50 chance of being parted with a half million dollars (sake of example), and the other party might say: "but what about love?" as though they've said something of equivalent weight.
I might say that "All married people started with the assumption that they would love forever. Love does not undo the very real possibility that the marriage would fail."
They might then say: "Don't you trust your wife-to-be? Why are you being so cynical?" (Appeals to trust)
Or go: "Relationships were not meant to be easy; they require work" (Appeals to sacrifice and teamwork). Etc. Etc.
Then maybe, when all else fails: "You need to make an honest woman out of her." (Appeal to masculinity)
When these words are invoked, ask yourself: "Do I need to experience a substantial loss for these pretty-sounding words to become fully realized?"
In fulfilling duty, I am asked to sink my time, energy, and potentially my physical safety (e.g., going to war for your country).
In fulfilling trust, I am asked to allow (potentially) deceitful people to continue their deceit without interference.
In fulfilling stability, I am asked to rebuke my gut feelings to keep up its appearance (i.e., getting called insecure for wishing that your wife/gf not go out on weekly girls' nights).
In many cases, the person invoking these words will *gain* from your believing them.
When I've written my books before, I often get a flash of new ideas and insights, largely related to the topic of the book. This is happening on the topic of relationships, language, and interpersonal manipulation.
Be wary of words that I will refer to as "Infinity Variables". These are pretty-sounding, flowering words like:
* Love
* Trust
* Duty
* Security/Stability
* Friendship
* Sacrifice
* Teamwork
* Equality
* Masculinity
These things are real and do mean something. Classical philosophers have opined about these themes for centuries. The issue is that they are constantly redefined and reframed into a set of actions which benefit someone else at your expense.
They quickly become bottomless pits of time and energy, as you're trying to conform to some third-party's description of it.
The reason I've called them "variables" is due to mathematics; if two sides are not adding up, just plop down one of these badboys to make things appear equal. They fit the purpose they serve. "Ad hoc", if you will.
Suppose that I were considering marriage, and conducting a sober analysis of the realistic costs.
I could provide someone a statistic that I have a 50:50 chance of being parted with a half million dollars (sake of example), and the other party might say: "but what about love?" as though they've said something of equivalent weight.
I might say that "All married people started with the assumption that they would love forever. Love does not undo the very real possibility that the marriage would fail."
They might then say: "Don't you trust your wife-to-be? Why are you being so cynical?" (Appeals to trust)
Or go: "Relationships were not meant to be easy; they require work" (Appeals to sacrifice and teamwork). Etc. Etc.
Then maybe, when all else fails: "You need to make an honest woman out of her." (Appeal to masculinity)
When these words are invoked, ask yourself: "Do I need to experience a substantial loss for these pretty-sounding words to become fully realized?"
In fulfilling duty, I am asked to sink my time, energy, and potentially my physical safety (e.g., going to war for your country).
In fulfilling trust, I am asked to allow (potentially) deceitful people to continue their deceit without interference.
In fulfilling stability, I am asked to rebuke my gut feelings to keep up its appearance (i.e., getting called insecure for wishing that your wife/gf not go out on weekly girls' nights).
In many cases, the person invoking these words will *gain* from your believing them.
When I've written my books before, I often get a flash of new ideas and insights, largely related to the topic of the book. This is happening on the topic of relationships, language, and interpersonal manipulation.
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