Maverick - Emergence

[NOMAD]

Day 193 Pause (Break Day 16)



Taking a break is exactly what I've needed. My wit has returned. I'm happier. I'm more motivated. I have more mental energy. I'll probably take the full 4 weeks that I considered taking, but I'll know more as time goes on.



I've noticed that Maverick can intimidate. I've witnessed this in my boss, in upper management types, subordinates, and outside of work. It's obvious in the uncomfortable body language they display (repeatedly touching/scratching their ear, face, side of the neck, etc.).



Also, there appears to be something magnetic about it. I've mentioned catching my bosses gaze in meetings and being the one he holds eye contact with throughout. I had the same thing happen today, but with a client woman (who happens to be stunningly beautiful) who was stepping through the company's expectations on a certain topic. Her gaze alternated between the senior guy with my company, who sat two chairs down (with another guy in between us), and me. She alternated between the two of us...him because of his status within our company, and me because?...  The first time I met her, she had a hard time holding eye contact with me. This time, she had a hard time looking away. Her eyes kept snapping back to mine. When I first realized what was happening, I had to fight the smile behind my eyes (it was a serious topic).



Last, my libido is almost non-existent. Sex rarely crosses my mind except in passing thoughts or if I force it. I'm just not interested. I can get an erection, masturbate, and have sex. But I have next to zero desire for it day to day. That's odd for me considering that I've been a horn dog for most of my life.



Maverick is still odd to me in a lot of ways. While I feel like I needed this break, and I'm clearly seeing some interesting positive effects, I'm also feeling more vulnerable. Duke's insights have helped me quite a bit, but it's still largely a mystery to me. If someone was to ask me what Maverick does, I'd probably give them the deer in the headlights stare. I really wish the Maverick Q&A write up was a little more open, particularly the part where Shannon states that he want to keep what it does and how it does it a secret. I understand that position on the 'how'. But I think the 'what' could be a little more transparent. I'd also like to know more about the aura.



That's it for now.

Yeah, I wonder whether something similar to the commanding aura that was in AM6 is in here. That would be my best guess after 6+ months of use. The run has been amazing for me so far.

Could be. A commanding aura combined with an overall relaxed disposition could yield the results I'm talking about. 

At the peak of my Maverick execution (just before the 5 month mark), my overall sense was that I was somehow protected. It was like nothing could harm me in any way. Fear was at an all time low. I maintained that overall sense of protection when the passion fired up. The result was that I functioned like a razor blade...quick, sharp, straight to the heart regardless of potential fallout. The momentary feeling is like that of the ultimate badass. Then it was back to baseline. 

A quick comparison is the cat from the Captain Marvel movie. It's a cute cat. Except that it's not a cat. It's an alien that looks like a cat. And when it's ready to attack, it opens it's mouth and ferociously eats all the combatants in its path. Then it closes its mouth & licks its paws like a cute little cat. But now it's evident that it was never really a cat to begin with. It was something else entirely. For a bystander, that's terrifying, even if they were never in danger.

I used two different analogies...a razor blade and a ferocious beast. Those are contradicting images. One is clean and precise. The other is animalistic and sloppy. On the rare occasions where this has occurred, Maverick has used the animalistic motivation and focused it through the razor blade. That's the best way to describe it. The moments are fleeting, but it's the feeling of unstoppable, invulnerability and focused aggression...seek and destroy.

I said all that to say this: The innermost capability of instantly transitioning from peaceful and stoic, to sharp and sadistic, back to peaceful and stoic could be the core intimidating factor. Even if others haven't witnessed it, it's as if they sense it.

FYI - This is NOT the norm, which is part of why Maverick is so difficult to wrap my head around.