03-22-2023, 01:38 AM
March 22, 2023
1st listening day
Hey guys,
I'm feeling scared right now, and I'm writing about it since ...... damn...... I don't have an answer not tied to fear.
Something broke through last night. Like a part of me senses I'm heading toward some major shift in life. My life. Me hiding behind fronts seems secondary at the moment. I've already had imaginations of me crying while driving for work today. All our work vehicles have drive cameras to record us and other drivers in an accident, but I've had 2 situations where I was let known they were watching, and both times I was parked. If I cry, this is good. I cried some yesterday while driving. I allowed songs to make me soft.
And now, while I sit, some fear and emotion is wanting to get out. Fear is a result of the emotion wanting to get out. This feels like a big journey I'm on
However, it's completely new and unscripted. I keep looking for familar things, and each time I realize I'm looking to hide. Fears are still running me.
And hope is felt right in the middle of this confusion, and that gives me some courage. I was late to work yesterday and before, and I looked at this, and work's been where I practiced keeping shields up. I just don't want to live like that anymore.
1st listening day
Hey guys,
I'm feeling scared right now, and I'm writing about it since ...... damn...... I don't have an answer not tied to fear.
Something broke through last night. Like a part of me senses I'm heading toward some major shift in life. My life. Me hiding behind fronts seems secondary at the moment. I've already had imaginations of me crying while driving for work today. All our work vehicles have drive cameras to record us and other drivers in an accident, but I've had 2 situations where I was let known they were watching, and both times I was parked. If I cry, this is good. I cried some yesterday while driving. I allowed songs to make me soft.
And now, while I sit, some fear and emotion is wanting to get out. Fear is a result of the emotion wanting to get out. This feels like a big journey I'm on
However, it's completely new and unscripted. I keep looking for familar things, and each time I realize I'm looking to hide. Fears are still running me.
And hope is felt right in the middle of this confusion, and that gives me some courage. I was late to work yesterday and before, and I looked at this, and work's been where I practiced keeping shields up. I just don't want to live like that anymore.
I want to be FREE!
