03-17-2023, 01:37 AM
March 17, 2023
2nd listening day
Shame is active. I've been online over half an hour, didn't plan on posting, but a part does. It feels like a young part of me doesn't believe the adult me can handle this--and I'm following a nudge (just like old days) to essentially seek someone else to step in and cover for me.
It's noone else's job, but damn, I've never admitted that so easily. That's my old habit. I still seek this at work too, and I've been aware of this recently. That's why I've been avoiding eye contact, well at least when the young part of me isn't feeling so fearful.
Gotta get up for work. All sorts of emotions are bubbling up.
2nd listening day
Shame is active. I've been online over half an hour, didn't plan on posting, but a part does. It feels like a young part of me doesn't believe the adult me can handle this--and I'm following a nudge (just like old days) to essentially seek someone else to step in and cover for me.
It's noone else's job, but damn, I've never admitted that so easily. That's my old habit. I still seek this at work too, and I've been aware of this recently. That's why I've been avoiding eye contact, well at least when the young part of me isn't feeling so fearful.
Gotta get up for work. All sorts of emotions are bubbling up.
I want to be FREE!
