03-05-2023, 06:37 AM
Well why not now?
So during the loops 2 nights ago they started pretty low key and I'm not quite sure where the turning point was but it started ramping up to the point where the second loop, which I was still awake for, fired up my 1st chakra like a Christmas tree and my second one a little as well.
When I woke up the next morning I instantly thought "oh no". For the next 4 hours, I had to stay very focused on choosing my response to the sub. When I slipped, I got into anxiety and fear, but I know now that I can choose to respond to a subliminal, and fear and anxiety are just one of many options. So I proceeded to keep bringing myself back into the now and wrestling with finding the correct response to Maverick. Something which Maverick no doubt assisted me in doing. I knew I was on the "fringe" of being someone able to run Maverick, probably a few deviations from the middle, but I got the go-ahead from myself so just saddled up, and began to wrestle with the beast known as me.
Once I finally eased into the correct response I started to bloom.
I DO NOT RECOMMEND ANYONE CONSIDER THEMSELVES IN MY POSITION; YOU WILL DO SO TO YOUR DETRIMENT, and maybe create a reason for having to run EPHRA, OFv4, or OGSF.
This sub is big; that is the only way I can describe it, big. It's spacious and requires you to give it your everything. You cannot compromise in execution, you cannot falter, slip a little and it will cut you. As Shannon says, get the basics down and I just got my basics down.
It was a good thing I did because I pushed myself right to the edge. I got big, and I was rewarded in turn.
I now find myself in a very intense learning curve of growth and given some life situations that literally hit last night I'm in the deep end. If I didn't start Maverick and settled into it yesterday today might have been a very personal Hell.
My mind is clear and I think and speak creatively. I stay in the focus and if I deviate I find myself quickly in a storm of emotions. Both from within and for reasons without.
Most times life is bluffing when it requires you to go all in, and quickly folds when you meet it there.
I don't know what the next few days will look like or what the next set of loops will look like, but I'm not there yet so it isn't really important.
So during the loops 2 nights ago they started pretty low key and I'm not quite sure where the turning point was but it started ramping up to the point where the second loop, which I was still awake for, fired up my 1st chakra like a Christmas tree and my second one a little as well.
When I woke up the next morning I instantly thought "oh no". For the next 4 hours, I had to stay very focused on choosing my response to the sub. When I slipped, I got into anxiety and fear, but I know now that I can choose to respond to a subliminal, and fear and anxiety are just one of many options. So I proceeded to keep bringing myself back into the now and wrestling with finding the correct response to Maverick. Something which Maverick no doubt assisted me in doing. I knew I was on the "fringe" of being someone able to run Maverick, probably a few deviations from the middle, but I got the go-ahead from myself so just saddled up, and began to wrestle with the beast known as me.
Once I finally eased into the correct response I started to bloom.
I DO NOT RECOMMEND ANYONE CONSIDER THEMSELVES IN MY POSITION; YOU WILL DO SO TO YOUR DETRIMENT, and maybe create a reason for having to run EPHRA, OFv4, or OGSF.
This sub is big; that is the only way I can describe it, big. It's spacious and requires you to give it your everything. You cannot compromise in execution, you cannot falter, slip a little and it will cut you. As Shannon says, get the basics down and I just got my basics down.
It was a good thing I did because I pushed myself right to the edge. I got big, and I was rewarded in turn.
I now find myself in a very intense learning curve of growth and given some life situations that literally hit last night I'm in the deep end. If I didn't start Maverick and settled into it yesterday today might have been a very personal Hell.
My mind is clear and I think and speak creatively. I stay in the focus and if I deviate I find myself quickly in a storm of emotions. Both from within and for reasons without.
Most times life is bluffing when it requires you to go all in, and quickly folds when you meet it there.
I don't know what the next few days will look like or what the next set of loops will look like, but I'm not there yet so it isn't really important.
