09-24-2021, 12:29 PM
Well, didn't think I be writing back this quickly but I have.
First off I did end up spending 3,500 USD on a computer build which I did actually need (My customer made computers is the only really big purchases I make every couple of years and the only thing I would indulge in for pleasure really). However I did actually end up saving a bit because as some of you know due to the GPU shortage and bitcoin mining video card prices are ridiculous right now due to scalpers (as in 2 to 3 times the regular price). I was looking around weirdly enough and was able to come across an international seller who was actually selling a RTX 3090 graphics card for about 1,000 USD. I decided to do that since domestically scalpers are trying to sell that card for like 3,000 USD right now. Hell, even if you get a lower level card like the 3070 you are looking at 1,300 USD. So it will take much longer to get here but I am getting a better deal if the card is working as expected.
Secondly, as expected with this transformation I have undergone people that I used to maybe talk to or what not I no longer am very interested in talking to. For some of them I'm just not feeling it anymore or some of the negative qualities about them that I would have tolerated I can no longer do so. There was one Moroccan woman I was talking to who I forgot to mention changed her mind about us getting together right after my transformation. In one way I was actually glad as the Visa situation would have been annoying to figure out but on the other hand I do not like having my time wasted in someways which she basically did. In the end what's done is done really.
More importantly I've already decided to basically talk very little to if not at all to this one guy I've known for over the last 2 to 3 years. Basically as I've seen myself grown, especially over this UMSv2 run, i've noticed the issues he has and the nonsense he does at times more and more. Its gotten to the point that I can no longer tolerate it. I think there was one instance a few months ago where he mentioned something he was proud of and I didn't really congratulate him or something like that and he got pissed off for some reason. Like it was over something stupid. Like he was literally acting like a chick like when a woman will get pissed at some other woman for not complimenting her on her dress. That was one of the first major things where I started pulling away from this guy. Another was just this kind of stupid tribalistic, blame groups of people mindset he has.
I good example of that is he was working for an online teaching English company for teaching Chinese students (which I helped convince him to do for a while until he had something else set up though I did warn him that that part of the TEFL industry is kind of shady so be careful). I basically told him since he wanted to work remotely in programming eventually just work on the degree online (i suggested a highly affordable program that was non for profit and he could literally get done in 6 months which is also accredited) while doing this online teaching stuff. Kept on trying to tell him about this for like a good long time while he literally did nothing but waste his money on stuff he didn't need for like a year and half. Eventually the time came that China crackdown on the teaching English online and tutor sector because the sector was getting too shady and they felt like the sector was overworking the students on the weekends. So abruptly he gets let go from his job (while he's living in the philippines I might add). Luckily he did get the contact information for his students parents so he was able to network quickly and have some privates setup.
However the thing that was off putting was several. The first was after this he literally went on some almost racist tired against "all chinese people" because he got fired from a Chinese company which for some reason reflects on a whole group of people. On top of that he still didn't learn the lesson from all this. If he had listened to me and actually gotten the CS program done he would have already been out of that field before it got regulated for being too shady or he would have already had a backup plan and being making even more more money now. He's making decent money from the private students he has but he is literally getting only 3-4 hours of sleep a day. So yeah, not exactly the best way to be living. When I brought up again maybe he better do that back up plan I gave him just straight up rejected because "I don't feel like having to do a degree" essentially. Despite lets face it.. do you need it to work in the field? No... but if you want to work for the top tier companies in the field as soon as HR department sees no degree on on your application it goes straight in the trash from what I heard from some HR managers at prominent companies.
HR doesn't care if you "feel" like you have the skills and "feel" like you don't want to do a degree. Why would they settle for you when they literally have people from top tier university programs and lots of projects/internships on their resume? I heard this also from other people who have been in the field for a long time but said they had to go back to get that piece of paper because they could only go so high up the ladder without that piece of paper.
I think the last straw though recently was literally he got pissed because he was trying to sell me on form factor computers (I have way more experience with computers and building them than him for literally like over 14 years) and after looking it up I would have liked to but that would require me to change things I had in mind for my future build that would have downgraded it a bit. So I essentially told him this and told him , since he has an annoying habit of continuing to try to push selling me on stuff long past I'm not interested, "Its just not for me. You do you and I will do me. We just have didn't perspectives on that". Literally, pretty straightforward and I would think to a degree diplomatic I think. He then brought this up recently as some example of me trying to "handle" him, whatever the fuck that means at all. He couldn't even explain what that even means. If I tell you I'm not interested in something, I'm not interested in it and that should be it for normal people.
What makes this interesting though is this is the same guy who thinks he's so "red pilled" and "Alpha" but like I find in most guys in that community as soon as you hurt their "feelings" they all start acting like emotional bitches really. As soon as something bad happens or you hurt their feelings they literally act like emotional women. So why did I explain this? To vent might have been part of that but I think I'm kind of past the point of needing to vent about things anymore. I simply move on. I think the bigger point of all this is that now i've gotten to this point where I have the foundation made and my trauma cleared, I really have no patience for dealing with people who refuse to deal with their own issues or trauma. If they don't want to deal with and want to run away from their personal problems then why the fuck should I have to deal with it? One thing that is said which i like is this "Its not your fault or responsibility for the trauma you went through but it is your responsibility to deal with it".
Either way, I'm at this point where I'm done dealing with emotionally damaged people who either (1) Don't want help, or (2) Say they do but their actions say otherwise. I've put in my years in trying to heal and better myself. I've literally been on these forums since 2013 and been working on myself since then. If someone decides they don't want to deal with their trauma and issues that is on them but they better just not expect me to be hanging around them constantly if at all to have to deal with the manifestations of their traumas. I should point out obviously that people on this forum are an exception to this because most people on here are trying to better themselves and fix their issues which is the main reason why everyone is here.
Either way I have a life to live and work to be done and that does not include dealing with every single person's issues.
First off I did end up spending 3,500 USD on a computer build which I did actually need (My customer made computers is the only really big purchases I make every couple of years and the only thing I would indulge in for pleasure really). However I did actually end up saving a bit because as some of you know due to the GPU shortage and bitcoin mining video card prices are ridiculous right now due to scalpers (as in 2 to 3 times the regular price). I was looking around weirdly enough and was able to come across an international seller who was actually selling a RTX 3090 graphics card for about 1,000 USD. I decided to do that since domestically scalpers are trying to sell that card for like 3,000 USD right now. Hell, even if you get a lower level card like the 3070 you are looking at 1,300 USD. So it will take much longer to get here but I am getting a better deal if the card is working as expected.
Secondly, as expected with this transformation I have undergone people that I used to maybe talk to or what not I no longer am very interested in talking to. For some of them I'm just not feeling it anymore or some of the negative qualities about them that I would have tolerated I can no longer do so. There was one Moroccan woman I was talking to who I forgot to mention changed her mind about us getting together right after my transformation. In one way I was actually glad as the Visa situation would have been annoying to figure out but on the other hand I do not like having my time wasted in someways which she basically did. In the end what's done is done really.
More importantly I've already decided to basically talk very little to if not at all to this one guy I've known for over the last 2 to 3 years. Basically as I've seen myself grown, especially over this UMSv2 run, i've noticed the issues he has and the nonsense he does at times more and more. Its gotten to the point that I can no longer tolerate it. I think there was one instance a few months ago where he mentioned something he was proud of and I didn't really congratulate him or something like that and he got pissed off for some reason. Like it was over something stupid. Like he was literally acting like a chick like when a woman will get pissed at some other woman for not complimenting her on her dress. That was one of the first major things where I started pulling away from this guy. Another was just this kind of stupid tribalistic, blame groups of people mindset he has.
I good example of that is he was working for an online teaching English company for teaching Chinese students (which I helped convince him to do for a while until he had something else set up though I did warn him that that part of the TEFL industry is kind of shady so be careful). I basically told him since he wanted to work remotely in programming eventually just work on the degree online (i suggested a highly affordable program that was non for profit and he could literally get done in 6 months which is also accredited) while doing this online teaching stuff. Kept on trying to tell him about this for like a good long time while he literally did nothing but waste his money on stuff he didn't need for like a year and half. Eventually the time came that China crackdown on the teaching English online and tutor sector because the sector was getting too shady and they felt like the sector was overworking the students on the weekends. So abruptly he gets let go from his job (while he's living in the philippines I might add). Luckily he did get the contact information for his students parents so he was able to network quickly and have some privates setup.
However the thing that was off putting was several. The first was after this he literally went on some almost racist tired against "all chinese people" because he got fired from a Chinese company which for some reason reflects on a whole group of people. On top of that he still didn't learn the lesson from all this. If he had listened to me and actually gotten the CS program done he would have already been out of that field before it got regulated for being too shady or he would have already had a backup plan and being making even more more money now. He's making decent money from the private students he has but he is literally getting only 3-4 hours of sleep a day. So yeah, not exactly the best way to be living. When I brought up again maybe he better do that back up plan I gave him just straight up rejected because "I don't feel like having to do a degree" essentially. Despite lets face it.. do you need it to work in the field? No... but if you want to work for the top tier companies in the field as soon as HR department sees no degree on on your application it goes straight in the trash from what I heard from some HR managers at prominent companies.
HR doesn't care if you "feel" like you have the skills and "feel" like you don't want to do a degree. Why would they settle for you when they literally have people from top tier university programs and lots of projects/internships on their resume? I heard this also from other people who have been in the field for a long time but said they had to go back to get that piece of paper because they could only go so high up the ladder without that piece of paper.
I think the last straw though recently was literally he got pissed because he was trying to sell me on form factor computers (I have way more experience with computers and building them than him for literally like over 14 years) and after looking it up I would have liked to but that would require me to change things I had in mind for my future build that would have downgraded it a bit. So I essentially told him this and told him , since he has an annoying habit of continuing to try to push selling me on stuff long past I'm not interested, "Its just not for me. You do you and I will do me. We just have didn't perspectives on that". Literally, pretty straightforward and I would think to a degree diplomatic I think. He then brought this up recently as some example of me trying to "handle" him, whatever the fuck that means at all. He couldn't even explain what that even means. If I tell you I'm not interested in something, I'm not interested in it and that should be it for normal people.
What makes this interesting though is this is the same guy who thinks he's so "red pilled" and "Alpha" but like I find in most guys in that community as soon as you hurt their "feelings" they all start acting like emotional bitches really. As soon as something bad happens or you hurt their feelings they literally act like emotional women. So why did I explain this? To vent might have been part of that but I think I'm kind of past the point of needing to vent about things anymore. I simply move on. I think the bigger point of all this is that now i've gotten to this point where I have the foundation made and my trauma cleared, I really have no patience for dealing with people who refuse to deal with their own issues or trauma. If they don't want to deal with and want to run away from their personal problems then why the fuck should I have to deal with it? One thing that is said which i like is this "Its not your fault or responsibility for the trauma you went through but it is your responsibility to deal with it".
Either way, I'm at this point where I'm done dealing with emotionally damaged people who either (1) Don't want help, or (2) Say they do but their actions say otherwise. I've put in my years in trying to heal and better myself. I've literally been on these forums since 2013 and been working on myself since then. If someone decides they don't want to deal with their trauma and issues that is on them but they better just not expect me to be hanging around them constantly if at all to have to deal with the manifestations of their traumas. I should point out obviously that people on this forum are an exception to this because most people on here are trying to better themselves and fix their issues which is the main reason why everyone is here.
Either way I have a life to live and work to be done and that does not include dealing with every single person's issues.
"I have no use of disciples. Let everyone be their own true follower" - Nietzsche
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