08-09-2021, 06:06 AM
(This post was last modified: 08-09-2021, 07:13 AM by Kol.
Edit Reason: Spelling
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Day 77
Ran 2 loops ultrasonic last night. Im procrastinating, having no creativity going, just wasting time. I want to know why that is. Its low mental activity, and it sucks. Reflecting on this right now. Guess its fear of going after my goals, which, tbh, makes sense and let whatever it is, up for a bit. But damn, the passiveness coming with this, like a vegetable, the lack of motivation and bordering amnesia in the moment aint benefitting at all, while knowing the world lays right open. It aint making me happy, thats for sure, albeit it is temporary and part of the process.
I want this fear gone. This fear of success, this fear and delusion, mental ghosts that aint real to begin with and been busted by experience countless times. This sense of dissolving into nothingness by doing nothing but timewasting.
Edit: ran the search engine (keywords subliminaltalk limbo ) änd came across a post from @Shannon mentioning they are very deep changes, which affirms from within.
Ran 2 loops ultrasonic last night. Im procrastinating, having no creativity going, just wasting time. I want to know why that is. Its low mental activity, and it sucks. Reflecting on this right now. Guess its fear of going after my goals, which, tbh, makes sense and let whatever it is, up for a bit. But damn, the passiveness coming with this, like a vegetable, the lack of motivation and bordering amnesia in the moment aint benefitting at all, while knowing the world lays right open. It aint making me happy, thats for sure, albeit it is temporary and part of the process.
I want this fear gone. This fear of success, this fear and delusion, mental ghosts that aint real to begin with and been busted by experience countless times. This sense of dissolving into nothingness by doing nothing but timewasting.
Edit: ran the search engine (keywords subliminaltalk limbo ) änd came across a post from @Shannon mentioning they are very deep changes, which affirms from within.
