I was about to go to sleep and noticed something crawling across the wall. I never was fan of spiders to begin with and would freak out, get tunnelvision, but not this time. Initially I thought "fuck it, I go to sleep, whatever" which is a 180, as Inormally would stress about over what ifs. Now, the vacuumcleaner won out. I approached it, fear barely there. Moved the mouth of the cleaner to it, and it jumped. Turns out it was a moth, but still, tunnelvision is gone. I feel good about it that I did it.
I also realized I have the freedom to play or not at all. Internal freedom. Options. Feels good to know that, realize that and be fine with it.
Still day 1 off, am refleting if I should 2 loops of ultrasonic. It comes with moments. Fear? Run loops. Like im squashing it but very reactionairy which could lead to excuse. Im purely going with autoconfig. So im having moments through the day of "run loops, fear!!" Switched up with "chill, its no sprint, looking forward to these offdays" which is followed up with euphoria and smazement.
Offdays are needed. Im still having the urge to run 2 loops, finding excuses to run it while already having a headache.
Also more and more fears are being busted down and glimpses of it being exposed like smoke are also pretty much encouraging me. I got it all. Its a new potent source purely coming from within.
I also realized I have the freedom to play or not at all. Internal freedom. Options. Feels good to know that, realize that and be fine with it.
Still day 1 off, am refleting if I should 2 loops of ultrasonic. It comes with moments. Fear? Run loops. Like im squashing it but very reactionairy which could lead to excuse. Im purely going with autoconfig. So im having moments through the day of "run loops, fear!!" Switched up with "chill, its no sprint, looking forward to these offdays" which is followed up with euphoria and smazement.
Offdays are needed. Im still having the urge to run 2 loops, finding excuses to run it while already having a headache.
Also more and more fears are being busted down and glimpses of it being exposed like smoke are also pretty much encouraging me. I got it all. Its a new potent source purely coming from within.
