Day 9
1st Rest Day (redo)
I deleted it. Attracts attention I really don't want.
I'm also resistant to getting up this morning. I'm awake, but clearly avoiding something. Fear.
I've done this hundreds of times in my life, and from experience, my thinking is if I avoid people today, I may not be aware of something bothering me. People are my mirrors.
I'm still feeling vulnerable. Sleep didn't push it away.
I'm seeing it now. I usually....abandon myself when around people when I feel sad and scared, not knowing how I "should" appear, coming from childhood people pleasing behaviors.
What am I afraid of? I think.....me abandoning me. Yeah, Ultimate Detox helped me see that. Being honest is courageous. I'm just remembering "not winning", or losing control--from what I wrote last night.
1st Rest Day (redo)
I deleted it. Attracts attention I really don't want.
I'm also resistant to getting up this morning. I'm awake, but clearly avoiding something. Fear.
I've done this hundreds of times in my life, and from experience, my thinking is if I avoid people today, I may not be aware of something bothering me. People are my mirrors.
I'm still feeling vulnerable. Sleep didn't push it away.
I'm seeing it now. I usually....abandon myself when around people when I feel sad and scared, not knowing how I "should" appear, coming from childhood people pleasing behaviors.
What am I afraid of? I think.....me abandoning me. Yeah, Ultimate Detox helped me see that. Being honest is courageous. I'm just remembering "not winning", or losing control--from what I wrote last night.
I want to be FREE!
