07-12-2021, 06:29 AM
After running those 5 loops of ultrasonic, there is no craving anymore for loops at all. I do sense some roll-calling going on internally, which could be autoconfig determining the loops to be ran, but other then that? Nope. My way of talking is changing positively. I remember a post from Shannon, which was in his ums journal, in which he wrote how he talked to his parts and how they are becoming wealthy. Now, OF seems to handle this as I caught myself doing this. Other parts encouraging eachother. Its pretty neat. I caught myself saying 'we will succeed" to "We succeed" to "we are succeeding" to "we are successfull, we succeeded".
Fear is nowhere to be found, other then subtle maybe.
Anyway, im facing perfectionism, which seems to stem from my dad, and thus have integrated it. I talked with my dad on this subject, and maybe it comes from his militairy background, but according to me and my psych, we concluded that my fathers way of upbring in the form of criticism discipline, has integrated in me. Prolly as far as an introject in my psyche/energy body. It does feel like that. And when we talked about this, I literally had flashbacks and what.
Anyway, perfectionism is a response to it. Procrastination another, fear of failure, fear of whatever. It can lead to never even beginning the task.
Another is noticing the "what will others think?" It might not be vocal, but more an energetic link, something that latches. Ive broken off from an group of people and its been 2 years now, and still it sneaks in at times. Crazy how it influences behaviour in such as way. Like a hidden drive.
Fear is nowhere to be found, other then subtle maybe.
Anyway, im facing perfectionism, which seems to stem from my dad, and thus have integrated it. I talked with my dad on this subject, and maybe it comes from his militairy background, but according to me and my psych, we concluded that my fathers way of upbring in the form of criticism discipline, has integrated in me. Prolly as far as an introject in my psyche/energy body. It does feel like that. And when we talked about this, I literally had flashbacks and what.
Anyway, perfectionism is a response to it. Procrastination another, fear of failure, fear of whatever. It can lead to never even beginning the task.
Another is noticing the "what will others think?" It might not be vocal, but more an energetic link, something that latches. Ive broken off from an group of people and its been 2 years now, and still it sneaks in at times. Crazy how it influences behaviour in such as way. Like a hidden drive.
