07-10-2021, 03:43 PM
I'll share a new reaction in me. An internal one.
I disagreed with my miner this morning over email, and I had control over my anger and snap judgements. In my last email, I shared something awefully honest, unaware really how it'll affect him.
I owned my own misplaced perceptions. I shared "If I spot it, I got it", sharing angrily how my own father made millions in his lifetime, but ended up living in a travel trailer surviving off of social security his last days. My father was, by looking at the outcomes, afraid of having too much money, spending and gambling it away quickly.
I shared it is my own fear of being a gambler, and I have been pointing blame at him.
He hasn't replied. But owning it wasn't heavily fearful or apprehensive like in the past.
Strange thing: I feel sad underneath, just barely. I'm unsure if it's me saddened by letting go of something, or an imagined abandonment.
Intuition says I'm letting go of something.
I disagreed with my miner this morning over email, and I had control over my anger and snap judgements. In my last email, I shared something awefully honest, unaware really how it'll affect him.
I owned my own misplaced perceptions. I shared "If I spot it, I got it", sharing angrily how my own father made millions in his lifetime, but ended up living in a travel trailer surviving off of social security his last days. My father was, by looking at the outcomes, afraid of having too much money, spending and gambling it away quickly.
I shared it is my own fear of being a gambler, and I have been pointing blame at him.
He hasn't replied. But owning it wasn't heavily fearful or apprehensive like in the past.
Strange thing: I feel sad underneath, just barely. I'm unsure if it's me saddened by letting go of something, or an imagined abandonment.
Intuition says I'm letting go of something.
I want to be FREE!
