07-02-2021, 12:12 AM
Day 1 One loop masked
I had to wait a day for my order to go through. That's fine but still I felt frustrated. Less at that particular accident and more of a pattern in general. My entire LTU run was one giant pattern of getting what I want but only after setback after setback after setback. It's not that I'm failing constantly nor that I'm winning all the time. It's this strange struggle against hurdles that are being sent my way. So even a simple order of a sub couldn't go simply smoothly. No hurt feelings to the stuff though, don't worry.
I've listed to one loop today and it left me feeling like my IQ dropped by 30 points at least. I felt a little bit overwhelmed not gonna lie. I listed to it almost first thing I woke up and it takes me some time to become productive this early but today was certainly more difficult. The most interesting thing was that I became quite... aimless. I didn't know what I wanna do to be honest, very unsure of myself.
The worst thing about running this sub now is that I'm of the philosophy that running the sub alone has little point. My experience taught me that it's best to do your own thing and let the sub support you. Which is great except my goals for the next 3 months don't overlap well with this idea. This makes it almost an interesting experiment for me as I will simply run the sub without thinking much about the goals connected to it. This might mean more natural growth if this works, we'll see.
I was invited for a party this evening. I will pass though, I have no will to meet with these people at this time. I'm not locking myself in my house though, few days ago I want out for a beer with a friend and will do the same with another one next week. Interestingly I've learnt a lot of interesting information at that meeting, one of these "stars aligned" stuff that may or may not pan out in the future. Even if nothing comes out of it I'm still glad because I like to keep as many good cards life is handing me as possible. Setting things up and seeing them bear fruit is what I do well.
I had to wait a day for my order to go through. That's fine but still I felt frustrated. Less at that particular accident and more of a pattern in general. My entire LTU run was one giant pattern of getting what I want but only after setback after setback after setback. It's not that I'm failing constantly nor that I'm winning all the time. It's this strange struggle against hurdles that are being sent my way. So even a simple order of a sub couldn't go simply smoothly. No hurt feelings to the stuff though, don't worry.
I've listed to one loop today and it left me feeling like my IQ dropped by 30 points at least. I felt a little bit overwhelmed not gonna lie. I listed to it almost first thing I woke up and it takes me some time to become productive this early but today was certainly more difficult. The most interesting thing was that I became quite... aimless. I didn't know what I wanna do to be honest, very unsure of myself.
The worst thing about running this sub now is that I'm of the philosophy that running the sub alone has little point. My experience taught me that it's best to do your own thing and let the sub support you. Which is great except my goals for the next 3 months don't overlap well with this idea. This makes it almost an interesting experiment for me as I will simply run the sub without thinking much about the goals connected to it. This might mean more natural growth if this works, we'll see.
I was invited for a party this evening. I will pass though, I have no will to meet with these people at this time. I'm not locking myself in my house though, few days ago I want out for a beer with a friend and will do the same with another one next week. Interestingly I've learnt a lot of interesting information at that meeting, one of these "stars aligned" stuff that may or may not pan out in the future. Even if nothing comes out of it I'm still glad because I like to keep as many good cards life is handing me as possible. Setting things up and seeing them bear fruit is what I do well.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
