06-30-2021, 01:53 AM
30th of June
The last few days I am very exhausted. Sleeping 9 to 10 hours instead of my usual 8. I think a part of it is bloom from MLS, another part is my subconscious resisting the bloom. And finally, I think there's TID from UMSv2 in the mix.
I have decided that my next sub will be UMSv2, not because I think OFv3 would be "wrong", but rather because my main fears are around performance and excellence. Also around the identity of performance and excellence, like "I am high-performing", "I am excellent". These statements have been rejected by me, sometimes even consciously, my whole life. So I think that these fears are the root of most fears I have and as such, UMS can help me focus on them instead of attacking all at once as OFv3 would do.
Live long and prosper
MM
The last few days I am very exhausted. Sleeping 9 to 10 hours instead of my usual 8. I think a part of it is bloom from MLS, another part is my subconscious resisting the bloom. And finally, I think there's TID from UMSv2 in the mix.
I have decided that my next sub will be UMSv2, not because I think OFv3 would be "wrong", but rather because my main fears are around performance and excellence. Also around the identity of performance and excellence, like "I am high-performing", "I am excellent". These statements have been rejected by me, sometimes even consciously, my whole life. So I think that these fears are the root of most fears I have and as such, UMS can help me focus on them instead of attacking all at once as OFv3 would do.
Live long and prosper
MM
