Friday 8th Jan - Day 6 of cycle 1
Saturday 9th Jan - Day 7 of cycle 1 (1 day break)
Sunday 10th Jan - Day 1 of cycle 2
Monday 11th Jan - Day 2 of cycle 2
Firstly as per Shannon's reply to me here: https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-Shann...#pid241853
It is clear that s10 is the better phone for me to use whenever I can and explains the tension I was getting due to it so ill endeavour to use this phone whenever I possibly can and only resort back to s7 at times when I need my phone to be clear for calls etc.
Regarding my tension, that seems to have gone.
I have noticed that im tired very tired in the day. This may or MAY NOT be the sub, I suspect the latter, since my sleep cycle is bad, current time is 5am, and I fall asleep anytime from 6am to even last as 9am and then wake around 2pm. I simply dont get enough hours of sleep at the moment.
The tiredness I describe is usually prevalent after eating, could be diabetically/blood sugar related too as my diet is bad esp since xmas, with lots of sugar and coca cola zero etc.
Also I have missed the girl I mentioned in my last journal of OFv1. I think of her daily even though im chatting to other girls etc. Her being a 10 hottie is the reason for sure but I know she is a slut and cannot be trusted but yet heart wants what the heart wants lol
I also have fear lots of it and im aware that I do. I had all day planned to go to my room and do some uni related work, if not that then atleast to prepare for it or do anything that is remotely of benefit to me and instead I feared coming to my room and avoided it rather smartly when all I had to do was just even small baby step items.
This fear is the reason im procrastinating. Consciously I WANT to study, learn be competent hell be amazing but im not doing it.
I had a thought that perhaps this fear is based on anger. This thought may be from the sub or it may not however its a thoughts ive had before in the past but not often. As a teenager/child I used to always study and enjoyed it, enjoyed doing my homework etc but then at a certain time I felt I was being removed by family from that study by asked to help here and there. Whatever the here and there is isnt relevant but what was is that they both gave me a reason to avoid study and fail but also that they wouldnt take no for an answer thus causing me to also get angry.
No child will avoid procrastinating from study if its on the plate unless they love study more than other things and in my case that balance shifted.
I was also I realised an obedient child, due to fear. I wouldnt want to displease my parents and even now I behave somewhat relaxed with them when it comes to being obedient and I think that this may play a role in why I lacked confidence and had anxiety at school etc.
I basically had fear so if this sub can help me remove that then itll be worth it.
I just listen and await the execution to happen....so please sub please do your thing and allow me to execute!!!
Saturday 9th Jan - Day 7 of cycle 1 (1 day break)
Sunday 10th Jan - Day 1 of cycle 2
Monday 11th Jan - Day 2 of cycle 2
Firstly as per Shannon's reply to me here: https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-Shann...#pid241853
It is clear that s10 is the better phone for me to use whenever I can and explains the tension I was getting due to it so ill endeavour to use this phone whenever I possibly can and only resort back to s7 at times when I need my phone to be clear for calls etc.
Regarding my tension, that seems to have gone.
I have noticed that im tired very tired in the day. This may or MAY NOT be the sub, I suspect the latter, since my sleep cycle is bad, current time is 5am, and I fall asleep anytime from 6am to even last as 9am and then wake around 2pm. I simply dont get enough hours of sleep at the moment.
The tiredness I describe is usually prevalent after eating, could be diabetically/blood sugar related too as my diet is bad esp since xmas, with lots of sugar and coca cola zero etc.
Also I have missed the girl I mentioned in my last journal of OFv1. I think of her daily even though im chatting to other girls etc. Her being a 10 hottie is the reason for sure but I know she is a slut and cannot be trusted but yet heart wants what the heart wants lol
I also have fear lots of it and im aware that I do. I had all day planned to go to my room and do some uni related work, if not that then atleast to prepare for it or do anything that is remotely of benefit to me and instead I feared coming to my room and avoided it rather smartly when all I had to do was just even small baby step items.
This fear is the reason im procrastinating. Consciously I WANT to study, learn be competent hell be amazing but im not doing it.
I had a thought that perhaps this fear is based on anger. This thought may be from the sub or it may not however its a thoughts ive had before in the past but not often. As a teenager/child I used to always study and enjoyed it, enjoyed doing my homework etc but then at a certain time I felt I was being removed by family from that study by asked to help here and there. Whatever the here and there is isnt relevant but what was is that they both gave me a reason to avoid study and fail but also that they wouldnt take no for an answer thus causing me to also get angry.
No child will avoid procrastinating from study if its on the plate unless they love study more than other things and in my case that balance shifted.
I was also I realised an obedient child, due to fear. I wouldnt want to displease my parents and even now I behave somewhat relaxed with them when it comes to being obedient and I think that this may play a role in why I lacked confidence and had anxiety at school etc.
I basically had fear so if this sub can help me remove that then itll be worth it.
I just listen and await the execution to happen....so please sub please do your thing and allow me to execute!!!
OF3 5.75.7G 13/15Vol
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
