*Jake's Overcoming Fear 5.75.1G Journal*

[Jake2015]

The issue you have with your girl is just communication.  You lose communication accuracy without being able to see or hear the person, for one, and for two, you just have to be open and honest with her.  Tell her that you're afraid of certain things, and that you're afraid of those things because you care about her/the relationship, and that you really like her.

Whenever I have a misunderstanding with my girl, I'm on that like white on rice until it gets resolved.  Sometimes it's not easy, but communication is the single most important factor in making any relationship succeed.

The ultimate key is... be open, be honest, and let the chips fall where they may.  If she's the wrong girl for you, it will end anyway, but if you have a good one for you, this will make the relationship a lot better and stronger.

thank you very much Shannon - I really appreciate it mate! 

She had to suddenly go as her family called her so no idea if she can talk today or tonight but she did say maybe we should sleep on it or something. - maybe I said it cos I said well just have a good night.

Any time I have suggested we take time out if thats what she wants and needs its clear she doesnt want it so im so confused.

I dont know what im doing I just want her to show more attention to me and more love to me and more just more to me but when i mention this she'll either say I cant show you 24/7 as if thats what im asking for which it isnt but the way she is on my mind, I just naturally think about her I dont feel im at all on her mind and that then hurts me in return.

She didnt go into work today, she never told me. All day I assumed she was at work. When we talked she then during convo said no no im not at work I didnt go work today at all, I was at home, did you think I was at work and my response was well yeah why wouldnt I and instead she threw it back at me such as well why would you think I was at work.

Thats not communicating in my world. 

She had an accident yesterday and shes ok but I told her yesterday to go docs today and just get it checked it and she said its ok nothing to get checked out. Today she was at home all day and didnt go docs and told me on the call her back and neck are really sore so I pushed and pushed that go and see the docs and I said look if you care about me go will you and she threw it at me saying if I dont go it doesnt mean I dont care about you, I am my own person I can make up my own mind. 

That hurt.

So when she then realised I had ate only once all day and breakfast at 6pm, she said thats not healthy and I want you to eat better, its not good for your health. I then said well im my own person and i can make up my own mind. She didnt like that I said that and she felt im playing mind games and that thats not who I am im just using her words against her but i was trying to make her realise what I felt.

She goes if I never said that would you have and I said no, if you had said to me that you really care about me and my health and it bothers you cos im yours then sure I would have got it but you didnt say that. Her response do you want me to give an essay all the time I speak to you about liking you.

I cant seem to make sense to her I feel.

When I realised that she was home all day yeah it hurt it hurt cos instead of 3 word answers in text here and there surely Id get more. I felt she was busy as if she was at hospital all day and that im just messaging a friend, theres no love no emotion in the messages.

Am i at fault I dont know.

Then there was a misunderstanding over pictures. I took pics and videos of my walk today to show her and of the gym too. She asked me why I took pics of the gym ok so i said it was for a friend. That is partially true it was for him but also for her. I just didnt say it was for her cos I dont want to come on too strong and push her away or anything.

Later in the call I said I took more pics and videos to show you and she said why you lying they arent for me they are for your friend. I didnt get it. I told her no I had taken gym for you and my friend but i had taken the rest just for you and she couldnt get passed that she felt I had lied.

I didnt lie and I dont really do lying or games.

i just dont get it.

I think ill just go and put my head down for a bit.